Today we’d like to introduce you to J’Anmetra Waddell.
Thanks for sharing your story with us J’Anmetra. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
To understand what Live Past Crazy means, allow me to share my journey of how I lived in; and survived, crazy, depression, suicide, and postpartum. The great thing is that we all can define crazy differently!
My name is J’Anmetra and I am a survivor of domestic violence; my abuser was the Pastor of my Church and I was the First Lady. When I first met the Pastor he was amazingly perfect! Intelligent, well dressed, articulate, and he treated me like I was the most precious woman – I felt amazingly beautiful. Our relationship was everything I had read in romance novels growing up!
From our first date until the day we got married was only three months. The abuse started about a month before we got married and I was shocked! He expressed how worried he was because I did not call to tell him where I was, and he was just worried something had happened to my daughter and me. He apologized and he seemed so sincere and I rationalized it all away. That was the last time he hit me until we moved 348 miles away from my family the day before Christmas. The abuse escalated at once, and I never imagined this could happen to me!
How could I explain to anyone that the Reverend, the Pastor, was punching me in my eye, the mouth, slapping me in the Church Office before his sermon? How do I explain that my big Sunday hats are not for fashion but to hide the bruises and that makeup and lipstick are flawless because I knew better than to show what was really behind the mask! After all, I was always the First Lady and I was always expecting to present myself as one.
During the height of this abuse, my abuser decided he wanted to have a baby. So, we welcomed a baby girl who was delivered early weighing only one pound. During my pregnancy, the abuse continued, except this time, it was focused on my face and my arms, and the mental abuse intensified. I almost died giving birth. The doctors told my abuser that he may have to make the decision of who lived and he chose our daughter. The doctors told him to say his last words to me and he whispered in my ear, “B, I hope you die…” and those were the last words I heard as they took me to surgery.
The day I left my abuser was July 26, 2014. My youngest was three-months old and weighed four pounds and my oldest was seven. I was so exhausted. I was only allowed to go to sleep when he told me too, and he said, staying up all night-built character. I had not slept in the past twenty-four hours. The phone rung at exactly 6:30 am and it was a former church member, this was the only time that I can remember that I ever answered the phone by myself. My abuser was asleep, and I tiptoed downstairs to talk. After I shared what was going on, she told me she was not getting off the phone with me until I left. I dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, I told my oldest to grab one favorite toy and for the baby, I grabbed diapers and three bottles and a can of milk. I stood at the front door and cried for almost thirty minutes. I knew the moment I opened the door – the alarm system would say “door open,” and he would come after me. I did not know what to do.
I finally took a deep breath and I told my oldest child, once I opened the door run as fast as she could to the car and no matter what, don’t stop running and don’t look back. I had the baby in the car seat on my arm. I opened the door and I sprinted across the yard and threw the car seat in the car and drove off without strapping down the seat! I screamed for my oldest to do it while I was driving. I was still holding the cordless phone in my hand! I made it a mile and a half before I was pulled over by a State Trooper. I was hysterical! The car had no registration, insurance, valid tag, and the front wheel would fall off if I went too fast and it only held about $3.00 worth of gas. I got out of the car and met the State Trooper crying and screaming that he was going to kill me to please let me go. After he calmed me down and wished me safe travels, he let me go. That $3.00 of gas took me over one hour and twenty minutes away to the next city to safety.
Currently I work with individuals as a mindset mediator to help them choose new words that define who they are and define their new journey. The important key is to be committed and not interested! I share the 5 Keys to Live Past Crazy because I know crazy! I encourage individuals to develop their own Live Past Crazy Blueprint – to begin their journey. I am the host of the Fearless Morning Show – weekdays at 7:15 am on Facebook, the author of five books (Amazon International Bestseller).
Has it been a smooth road?
It has NOT been a smooth read. The day I left my abuser, he cleaned out the checking and savings account. I had a newborn preemie and a 7-year-old and my family 400 miles away. I had no money, no place to live, no clothes and no place to go. Friends took me in and allowed me to live with them until I was able to take care of myself and the girls. In there is depression, having to ask people for undergarments, toothbrushes, comb, etc. normal everyday products. I picked up pennies on the street to be able to get inside food banks to feed us. I had to learn the laws of NC to represent myself in court because I could not find an attorney that would represent me YES I WON THE CASE!
So, as you know, we’re impressed with Be Fearless – tell our readers more, for example what you’re most proud of and what sets you apart from others.
Be Fearless Inc works with individuals who are ready to begin their journey to Live Past Crazy. I am different because I share my raw story and the 5 steps that I used to begin my journey. Most people do not want to hear a long lengthy story- they simply need steps. That was me! I needed someone to tell me – my next steps – every day! That is what I provide- the next steps and we begin with the 5 Keys to Live Past Crazy!
I am most proud of Be Fearless because of the foundation that it stands on. The entire structure is set to help those who have no idea what to do next. Who are too afraid to think beyond the next moment the next breath? Be Fearless provides that safe space for them to land for the dream, hope, to think, to breath! What sets us apart – I am living the outcome that I needed to see when I was in a dark place. I can relate to the woman who wants to defend her position in life when it is not serving her. I feel the fear and pain when a life-changing decision is a matter of life or death. What also sets us apart is that Living Past Crazy does not have to look the same for everyone! An individual can define crazy however, they want to! Kids, career, relationships, friends, family, and it without domestic violence. The 5 Keys to Live Past Crazy can be applied to anyone!
Let’s touch on your thoughts about our city – what do you like the most and least?
I came here ten years ago without a job and two children. This city has allowed me the space to thrive and grow and to dream bigger than I ever imagined. The atmosphere is set for growth.
Besides the traffic – I would have to say the city has been amazing !
Contact Info:
- Website: www.livepastcrazy.com
- Email: janmetra@livepastcrazy.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janwaddell
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LivePastCrazySpecialists/
- Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/janmetra
- Other: bit.ly/waddellspeaks
Image Credit:
Images – taken by J’Anmetra Waddell
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