Today we’d like to introduce you to Becky Loccisano.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I grew up in New Jersey as an average kid- Italian with olive skin and a larger nose, taller than all of my friends, and always just average weight. My parents tried to reassure me that I was beautiful and nothing was wrong with me, but compliments from your parents always ended with me rolling my eyes and saying, “You have to say that.” These compliments especially felt untrue when I was the brunt of jokes about my mole on my face for years, going back as far as kindergarten. I have vivid memories of sneaking into my mom’s makeup bag and stealing her concealer to cover it up. A few years later, I remember crying after receiving capris for my birthday because they were the first pair to make me not hate my body and they were all I wanted to wear. One of my birthday presents that year was a scale from my grandma with a promise to give me $10 for every pound I lost. My grandma was a wonderful woman, but as an ex-seamstress and someone who grew up in a different time, appearances were everything and she wanted me to look beautiful- based on outdated beauty standards.
The pressure to be thin was always surrounding me, reading teen magazines where I saw photoshopped models, diet culture, and all the other outside variables that are deemed problematic in the present day. My mom fell into the trap of trying and failing multiple fad diets and had and still has the worst self-talk. It felt like everything and everyone around me revolved around weight and food. My insecurities went as far as trying to skip meals but binging afterward. I would try vomiting after meals but felt like a coward when I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was stuck being average for a very long time with an unhealthy relationship with food and myself.
School was where I felt both comfort and discomfort, loving to learn but just trying to fade into the background to avoid criticism from peers. I had dreams of becoming a teacher and helping the next generation feel good about themselves, both academically and emotionally, but changed my mind a senior year of high school after taking a psychology class. I went on to study Applied Psychology and Human Relations at Pace University in NY with hopes of becoming a mental health counselor for children. After undergrad, I started a Master’s program in Jersey while simultaneously working as a teacher’s assistant at a school for kids with autism. The lessons I learned there were invaluable and made me realize that my abandoned dreams of becoming a teacher needed to be revisited. I withdrew from the counseling program and applied to three different Masters programs for teaching- one in Jersey, one in Georgia, and one in Texas. I felt very privileged when I was accepted into all of the programs and had to make a decision. I ended up choosing Georgia and moved to Athens with my boyfriend at the time.
I started my master’s program and started a job at an elementary school where I met the PE coach and we quickly became best friends. We started hanging out and eventually realized that something else was there; something more than a friendship. This came as a shock to me because this person is a woman. I never saw myself as bi, or queer in any way, but my upbringing was less than representative so it didn’t seem like an option to ever consider.
This was my turning point in identifying who I was exactly and how I saw myself. My self-exploration began and I started to figure out what I wanted. I deconstructed how I saw my life going and embraced change. After a lot of self-reflection and unlearning, I came out as a lesbian. Some time passed and the PE coach and I began dating. We later purchased a home together and are now engaged.
Through all of this internal turmoil, I learned that the most important thing you can ever invest in is YOURSELF. Neglecting self-care and self-love left a void I didn’t know existed. It prevented me from knowing exactly who I was and what I wanted. It made me alter my personality to reflect the people I was with and not be true to myself.
Because of this, I started a brand and small business that I am growing. I know that one day this will become my full-time job because it’s what brings me the most joy and fulfillment. On social media, I create authentic, raw content that embraces normal things that we have been engrained to think are flaws. I share affirmations and steps to take no matter where someone is in their self-development journey. I want other individuals to see that their bodies are beautiful and to help empower women to love themselves as they are. This work has transformed my life- it has brought me confidence and has given me a VOICE. I never thought that embracing my body would give me all that it has. I can stand up for myself, set boundaries, speak up at work, facilitate meetings, and wear whatever the heck I want without insecurities. It’s inspired me to join and sit on the board of a local pride organization where I can help others find their voice and embrace themselves. This process is not linear, and I remind others that they are growing even when they have poor body image days.
My business on Etsy has launched, where I create and sell clothes with self-love messages. I also started selling crystal necklaces that come with affirmation cards to help people along their self-development journey. I know there is more to come and I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me. My most important lesson I learned is that I am NOT average, I am extraordinary and can do anything.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
When coming out, I felt very alone and anxious- even though I had a support system, the internal conflict left me feeling very small and isolated. I had to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and make peace with the fact that I figured this out in my twenties. Growing up Roman Catholic made me fear being gay. I can specifically recall a time I did something dumb in high school and my internal dialogue said, “well, at least I’m not gay” as a way to justify my actions not being so bad- so I had to do a lot of unlearning and re-learning. Deconstructing those beliefs and coming to terms with being queer was both difficult and beautiful.
In terms of body image, I have come a long way in how I view myself. I refuse to use negative self-talk and use affirmations daily to boost my confidence. I surround myself with positive people and follow body-positive creators on social media that share the same values.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am most proud of my schooling. When I moved to Georgia, I was both a full-time student and full-time first year teacher. That was the most difficult year of my life because it was also when I ended my relationship with a man and realized I’m queer.
I’m so proud of my resiliency and confidence that makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. I use what I learned in school and what I learned about myself in my current job as an educator. I look at the bonds I have with my students and how much they have grown emotionally and I feel proud of that work. I want to be an example of strength, empowerment, and authenticity and I can truly say I do that with my students.
My drive to be better and do better is something that sets me apart from others. I live by the words, “I am always evolving,” because I strive to better myself and achieve new things.
Are there any important lessons you’ve learned that you can share with us?
The most important lesson I learned is that investing in yourself is the greatest thing you can do. Through this, I learned that I am extraordinary. I am not average by any means. I am not quiet. I have a voice and I am learning how to use it. I am funny and weird (I embrace these traits). I don’t mask who I am nor do I water down my personality for others.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBeesTeesandMore
- Instagram: beckyy.lynnn
Image Credits
Ivanna- @bohemewinterphotography
