Today we’d like to introduce you to Fauzia Lala.
Hi Fauzia, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I started as a software engineer at Microsoft and then moved to work for a Law Firm. While I was working corporate jobs, I got black belts in 2 martial arts. After facing workplace harassment, sexual harassment, religious discrimination, and gender discrimination, I realized that my martial arts training is not helping me become safe and respected at work so I quit my job and started teaching and learning full-time. I started teaching 3 martial arts as a senior instructor full-time to kids and teens. The moms of my students asked me if I would teach a women-only self-defense class and I agreed. When I spoke to the owner of the school about this idea, he fired me on the spot. This was not the first time I was kicked out of a martial arts school. This was my second. The first time I was asked to leave my first school that I got my first 2 blackbelts in because I wanted to train in other arts and teach at other places. In both these instances, I realized another thing – martial arts owners have similar issues that corporate workplaces suffer from – male domination. So then I started learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu because I thought that must be self-defense – it teaches ground defense and must protect women from rape. I was asked several times in class to not do “realistic moves” and keep strict to my martial arts moves like grabbing a lapel. But there are no lapels in real life. Which attacker walks around wearing a gi and a lapel? My training was useless so I quit.
Then I started learning krav maga – this is a self defense based martial art so I thought I found my golden goose. After being horribly injured because none of the techniques the instructor was teaching was working for my female body, I asked if there was a better way to block without trying to use my softer-than-men bones and weaker-than-men upper body strength. Nope, there wasn’t one. Many years before training in wing chun, I went shin-to-shin sparring with a male opponent and shattered my shin, had to do PT for 2 years and rolfing after that to fully heal. My opponent didn’t even have a bruise. I didn’t want to get this badly injured again, so I left krav maga. Finally, I started training in wing chun. This had to be it. It was started by a small-statured woman and I am a small-statured woman. I was sexually harassed by my male instructor and was told it will take me 14 years to master enough techniques to be able to defend myself, so I left again. I actually trained in 7 martial arts in total over the years and came up empty. Finally, I decided to start teaching by myself when a horrific incident happened. In 2017 a group of Muslim hijabi girls were attacked on a train in portland and the man defending them was stabbed to death. A few months later, the one mosque in the neighborhood I lived in at the time was vandalized (3 times in 4 months actually) and another mosque burned to the ground in an act of arson. So some of the Muslim women asked if I would start teaching self-defense. I said “no way – I don’t know any self-defense myself. That’s what I’ve been trying to learn.” I will never forget what she said “at least you know more than what we girls do.” So I started teaching at the mosque whatever I knew to the best of my abilities.
Over time, I had a powerful group of women attending my classes – Software Engineering Manager at Microsoft, High School Teacher, Software Engineer at Amazon, Healthcare Professionals (nurses, pharmacists), etc. and one day while teaching kicks and passes (not blocks because that doesn’t work for women) I suddenly wondered why they were all here. What are their REAL goals in life. I found out that they were facing workplace harassment and being followed on the trails, being bullied on public transportation, etc. Something suddenly struck me. In none of these scenarios can you actually kick or punch anyone. You can’t punch your coworker, you can’t START the fight when someone is merely following you or being verbally abusive (if you throw the first punch, you go to prison for assault) so then what was I teaching? How was that helpful at all in solving their problems? I was a student of psychology at the time and had learned some interesting conflict resolution techniques as well as body language techniques from an ex-FBI agent so I taught them to my students and asked them to execute these and see what happens. They were such enthusiastic guinea pigs.
Within three weeks: my student who had a creepy follower – lost that guy. He never followed her again; my student who was being harassed at work had the coworker fired and she got promoted (in three weeks!) and my commuting students were never verbally abused anymore. This was shocking to me. I taught them psychological skills that made them safe in three weeks – none of these self-defense moves helped or were even needed. In fact, I learned, or re-learned, that prevention is better than cure. If you have to fight (cure) it’s too late. We can actually train such that we can PREVENT attacks from happening in the first place. This blew my mind and I started taking courses in the evenings from universities all over the country (and world) – Yale, UC Davis, ESSEC Paris, you name it. When the pandemic hit, I went remote. It was the best thing that ever happened to my business. I had no idea how I was going to teach remotely. This was a new problem I didn’t know how to solve. Until then, I only had one problem that would keep me awake at night – how do I reach more women and teach this to more women asking them to stop training in self-defense combatives because that’s a farce and real safety lies in preventative training which is all psychological? Suddenly, during the pandemic, it hit me. If I can teach remotely, I can reach women all over the world! And I did 🙂
Now I teach women+, teenage girls (including non-binary), even kids remotely. I do corporate workshops and DEI training for employees (all gender) and safety workshops for teens and adult women. Every time a person comes to me asking “how do I become safe?” I tell them that the answer lies inside their mind. 100% of my students have achieved 100% of their goals. Our program has saved lives because it has transformed lives. People come to us wanting to be safe and leave feeling happier, less anxious, have better relationships, more self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence. They entire life changes. What makes us unsafe (that which lies within our minds) also makes us weak in many other areas of our life – sleep, mood, anxiety, health, etc. So we perform root cause analysis and break down the issues from the core (which lies within the mind) and empower them from the ground up. That’s enough to eliminate predators in their lives. Why? Because people can sense weak people, predators can sense prey behaviors and attitudes. Once you become strong, feel strong, and look strong, attackers (verbal, physical, psychological) leave you alone. Of course, we still teach self-defense techniques as well which are fully customized to work for each body type and for women especifically – but that’s less exciting 🙂
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Already said. IT was NOT a smooth road. It took me 7-15 years to learn what I know today.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I teach women, teens, and kids safety, self-defense, and empowerment. I’m known for transforming lives of each individual. We’re a one-stop-shop. Tell me your problem and we’ll fix it. Everything stems from a psychological issue and we start by tackling that and people see all sorts of areas in their lives improve.
What are your plans for the future?
I’m working with local governments and police departments to start DEI training. I’m also looking to start working with corporations to offer said DEI training along with sexual harassment and prevention training and conflict resolution training and women in leadership training. The big one is DEI. Today, DEI training are a series of videos created by lawyers to explain people the law – don’t be a jerk, don’t touch that woman, don’t yell at her and they teach third parties on how to become an “ally”. This is all nonsense. Teach the victims how to stand up for themselves, not expect someone else to do it! Also, teach the abusers how to change their core behaviors, identify what’s making them abusive (Also psychological) and change them from the inside out. No one wants to hear what the law is – we all know it. We all still behave like jerks anyway. We need behavioral and psychological changes and that’s the new and improved DEI training that I want to bring to the world. We’ll change the behaviors/attitudes/psychology of the victims AND the attackers and once they become NEW people, the workplace harassment issue will vanish and companies will save millions of dollars in lawsuits.
Contact Info:
- Website: defenseninjas.com
- Instagram: instagram.com/defenseninjas
- Youtube: youtube.com/defenseninjas
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@defenseninjas
Image Credits
Seattle Times
