Today we’d like to introduce you to Tonya Carter.
Hi Tonya, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
March 2015 marked a significant turning point in my life.
By that time, five years had passed since my divorce, and I realized that my life hadn’t experienced much growth. Although the years had progressed and my age had advanced, I remained strongly tied to the narrative of being divorced and a “single mom.” This story greatly influenced how I perceived my life, my own identity, the people around me, and the world.
It wasn’t a matter of missing my marriage, as our decision to dissolve was mutual. However, what I failed to do after the divorce was to appropriately acknowledge and address the mental and emotional impact that this experience had on me. It was in 2015 that I truly awakened to the reality that my quality of life fell short of what it should have been. This realization required me to remove the “mask” and embrace authenticity and vulnerability when examining my current life blueprint.
By that time, I was 34 years old, the primary guardian and caretaker of my children. I had faced the adversity of losing five jobs within four years, resulting in significant financial hardships. Additionally, I found myself consistently over-functioning in relationships, that ultimately left me feeling empty.
Additionally, I felt a deep sense of unfulfillment in my life. I sensed that there was more to pursue and explore; however, I wasn’t certain of what it entailed. Despite my love for my children and my formal education with a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, I strongly felt that there was something within me that nobody else could fulfill. That was the moment when I consciously chose to “Divorce My Story.”
What I came to understand was that divorce wasn’t just a legal process but also a spiritual, mental and emotional journey. I needed to unpack the narrative I was attached to, confront the suppressed emotions, and cultivate a much stronger relationship with God. From that intentional perspective, I realized that I had been living a life misaligned with my true identity and purpose.
I reached where I am today by doing two things: taking ownership of my life regardless of past events and being deliberate about shaping my future. These two actions helped me redirect my energy toward what I had control over. While I couldn’t control what happened in the past or what others did, or even my previous choices, I could be accountable for how I wanted to shape the quality of my life.
When you step into the empowering realm of knowing that you have the ability to create, you become intentional about designing your life.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The path forward is never without obstacles. There will always be circumstances that test you and try to derail your progress.
Speaking of the specific difficulties, I can certainly say that one of the most significant challenges was transforming my belief system, truly embracing the notion that I am capable of experiencing a different life!
The true power of our beliefs and self-perception is often underestimated. I came to recognize that the choices I made shaped the course of my life, serving as reflections of my underlying beliefs. Merely expressing a desire for something is one thing, but truly believing in its attainability and actively moving in that direction to align with my new belief is another.
Confronting the persistent thoughts of doubt, uncertainty, and fear required a conscious and proactive approach. I had to be kind to myself and extend grace, understanding that I wouldn’t always get everything right, and that’s okay. What fueled my perseverance was consistently asking myself: What would I gain if I gave up?
Indeed, self-encouragement and compassionate self-talk became vital. It is crucial to treat oneself with the same tenderness and love we would offer to someone dear to us.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I specialize in assisting women in navigating the journey of uncoupling (marital or non-marital). I offer valuable support, guidance, resources, and practical tools to minimize disruptions in their business, work performance, and household responsibilities. This approach aims to ensure minimal disruption, foster a co-parenting dynamic that prioritizes the well-being of the children, and cultivate a life after that embraces freedom and fulfillment.
What makes me stand out from others is my distinct ability to offer empathy, understanding, compassion, and truth to every person I encounter, regardless of their circumstances. I firmly believe in treating everyone with respect and kindness, acknowledging the importance of their individual experiences and emotions. It is crucial to ensure that no one feels the weight of judgment as the last thing anyone needs. When others perceive the genuine care I extend, a foundation of trust is established, paving the way for the development of relationships where support can flourish.
What brings me the greatest sense of pride in terms of my brand is when I hear others discovering me through the positive experiences shared by those I have previously worked with. It is truly uplifting to know that people not only recognize the value of my work but also trust and believe in the impact it can make. This genuine support and recognition serve as a constant reminder of why I do what I do, and it motivates me to continue striving for excellence in my craft.
Offerings & Services
Host of “Purposely Thriving Podcast” – Found on all podcast platforms
Author “Divorce Your Story: A Woman’s Guide to Heal & Thrive After Divorce” – https://www.tonyacarter.com
1:1 Coaching – https://www.tonyacarter.com
12 Week T.H.R.I.V.E Accelerated Program – http://www.imready2thrive.com
Can you talk to us about how you think about risk?
When it comes to “risk-taking”, you have those who are conservative, moderate and aggressive. In my opinion, exploring what life has to offer requires taking some kind of risk, whether it involves making a career change, ending a toxic relationship, embracing a healthy relationship, relocating to a new place, or embarking on a personal growth journey.
When it comes to significant risks, the most impactful one for me was the decision to change my life for the better. It involved stepping outside the confines of my regular routine and embracing the potential of who I could become. Although it may appear insignificant, working on oneself is an endeavor that carries immense risk yet promises great rewards. It often baffles us why many individuals yearn for change but struggle to pursue it. In my view, one of the reasons behind this hesitation is the inherent risk associated with the unknown. Despite the discomfort that may arise from stagnation and unfulfillment, familiarity offers a certain level of comfort simply because it provides a predictable environment. Stepping beyond that comfort zone and embracing change requires a willingness to take risks.
Upon deep reflection, it becomes evident that “Everything is risky.” This insightful statement, expressed by Jim Rohn in one of his speeches, resonated with me. I frequently listened to his wisdom, and he was absolutely correct. Every action we undertake carries an inherent risk, regardless of how mundane or routine it may seem. From stepping outside our homes to driving a car or even visiting a store, there is no absolute concept of “safety.”
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.tonyacarter.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamtonyacarter/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mstonyaspeaks
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mstonyacarter/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyWknAeYLmdbWdMfGcP0tiA
