Today we’d like to introduce you to Brandon Mishawn.
Hi Brandon , thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
First of all, thank you for having me. I deeply appreciate what yall are doing for the ATL art scene.
To the question: The truest answer is that I got into the arts based on my experience at LaGrange college where I took a theater 101 course looking for an easy A. Not yet divorced from the toxic masculinity that I grew up around, and resisted for my part, but still affected as any person who is ‘becoming’ will be, I started the course keeping it at arms length and that fell away fast. By time I made my way to Georgia State, I was on my 4th major, unfocused but not necessarily uncomfortable with where I was when I found myself in need of another “easy A”, so I took a film 101 course and it clicked that Film was a melting pot of my previous focuses and interests (poetry, literature, psychology and politics). At that point I committed to the path and graduated with a degree in film theory form Georgia State and no idea what to do with that education besides making the sojourner to LA or New York to try and get into the industry.
This was 2012-2013 and not long after Atlanta would become a hub for film making so I was able to get started at home with the fourtune of one of my previous instructors at GSU happening to be neighbors with a producer, Melissa Palmer. This was my start: interning as an unpaid production assistant for a pilot and then as a paid production assistant for the first full season of the show (Stuff you Should Know). This is where I meet people that I would come to know as my extended family and gained an actual education in the craft and the labor of film making.
In the time sice then and now I’ve made several false starts at directing, several less false starts as a cinematographer and faced the general melancholy that separated me from my intention – All discomfortable, but necessary. Surviving the false starts I kept plugging away and keeping the eye on the ball of staying creative (sometimes to greater or lesser effect).
In the time since then I also have gone through several seasons of interpersonal turmoil and self-destruction that had stalled my progress but deepened my experience and appreciation for the arts and life. discomfortable, but necessary to be who I am, for the better.
in ’23 I found myself faced with the consequences of that self-destruction through substance abuse. sad to say – this is the greatest catalyst for who I am and where I am and where I will go. That experience offered a season of turmoil that resulted in what I’d call a ‘season of bitterness’ that resulted in a spilling of my art and intention, those things I’d hid from the world and myself.
Now, not only have I gotten back into film making but I’ve put myself forward as a poet (something I’d done on and off since high school but never put into the world until ’23, produced and performed in an interactive art event and threw myself into the act of writing a novella that I hope to be able to share in ’26.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Absolutely not.
First off, the world is fucked, and it’s not the same as it was and “nothing ever happens” is complete bullshit, as it always was. Anyone who is not challenged by the world around and about us is a monk or a fucking psychopath. And you want to make the world better, you want to make a positive impact, you want to see a better world. This curse of morality (or super ego gone wild) can paralyze the best of us. You can’t let it, but its a fight that must be fought.
As far as I’ve analyzed, I’ve always been a bit of a melancholic personality and over the years developed anxieties and doubts about myself as an artist, my work, the quality of my work, people’s true feeling of me and myself as an authentic actor in this world. The funny thing about this is that the first time I truly knew anxiety in sense that I speak not is when I tried to get my friends to join me in singing some Disney song while we were playing in the woods at the apartment I grew up in. I think I was around 9-12ish at the time. I hadn’t caught on that we were all now supposed to be, “tough and silent now and play was for children.”
Not soon after I found myself as the acne poster child from middle school through early adulthood and that experience had done massive damage to my ability to live confidence. Being unsure or sure of the mess that is your face is no way to live. Mothers – get in the bathrooms with your sons and show them what you do when the dermatologist only has pimple poppers and the same old meds that didn’t work! This is damage that I’ve repaired for a part after hundreds of dollars spent at sephora looking for just the right combination of $80 gels and cremes and trial and error that lead to a self diagnosis through trial and error that led to much simpler solutions , but the scars are there and undoubtedly held me back.
Beyond the interpersonal, there are certainly the doubts that come as you are dragged from your path into another dept. that you’d never considered or when you watch your peers elevate while you ‘stagnate’. And there are the unavoidable troubles of family that can drag down any person.
But the biggest obstacle in my opinion, has been apathy. Being in the industry, making a good living (especially for someone who did not come from much and needs to help out every now and then when things get bad), having plenty of free time, being ‘too tired’, procrastination etc. – these can all be traps and they trapped my for some time. You say to yourself that you’re making a good living. you may think to yourself that it’s a good enough life. That’s what I did. You may censor yourself and your art for the sake of connections on account of your good living and good enough life. that’s what I did for a time. Fuck that. Thankfully I broke through those apathy’s for the time being.
According to Hunter S. Thompson, “A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” This is where I was and what I risked and this is what I fear most about my work. I don’t want to ever find myself unfocused and unintentional in regard to my art ever again. To my absolute agreement, Thompson continues, “But you say, ‘I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.‘ And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know—is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.” This is something I believe and something I am living to a certain extent, but can do better. Desperately want to do better.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
As things stand, I claim the title of Artist because I have too many inspirations, too many interests, too many curiosities to explore to find myself with blinders on for any particular medium. In all things I do I’m trying to say something authentic about the world, myself or the future with either an optimistic, critical or prescriptive eye.
That being said, clearly I have specialized in film making. When I have my filmmaker brain in, I’m looking for paths to the authentic, for me that usually comes through the use of the surreal or brutal ‘hyper-reality’. I am a major proponent of, “you are what you eat,” and so I gravitate to and uplift creators who feel as if they speak my language so that I can strengthen my own. whether it be a feature or a short film masquerading as a music video – I am looking to use the rules and techniques I’ve learned on major narrative and commercial sets and break each and every one in the way that allows for the production that I’m working on to thrive without all the gear and talent and money that major sets have. The biggest goal for me on any shoot is that it moves with professionalism and care for the workers and the story in equal measure at the top of my priority list.
The act creating is almost religious to me because, for me, creativity is the meaning of humanity. Because of this I want to meet with the talent beforehand an mix our energies, share my self and try and get them to share themselves because once we get to the shoot day things have to fly and in order to fly things have to be allowed to play and that cannot be done by a closed off performer, or even a crew member who I don’t trust to respect my process or the set. Because of this I guard my sets against such crew members and I try to avoid the posers and the “brand builders” as performers, and at the level I’m at tht can be a detriment but the benifit of having a cast and crew that is committed to pulling in the same direction is worth it.
Another major thing is that I want to make sure the actors are willing to and have material to play, deep-play, at the best of times. When I’m shooting I will often have everyone freeze and whisper a new performance note into an actors ear that creates conflict with where they were and where the scene was. This may involve having the sobbing wife turn into the triumphant tormentor for a take or two, This may involve indulging in silent film performance theory in the 21st century, giving This is innovation in my mind. I want actively involved performers, people interested in their development as well-rounded human beings, people with something to say.
As far as aesthetic, I am most intrigued with destruction and the rejection of the tech and consumerism that has plagued American movie making most apparently. I want things to be grounded, authentic, I want practical effects, you can do it with a steadi-cam, but I’d rather see you try it handheld. This is where I live as a film maker. I don’t want to distract you I want to engage you.
One of my biggest challenges as a director is to work on communicating to the DP and Gaffer that I do not want things to look like a commercial or a music video necessarily, I am trying for a particular film language of my own and this is one of my biggest challenges considering most of my connections are crew from the commercial world and often they’ll do what they know and that can be a problem. I’d rather not have people who do what they know but instead people who know how it’s done so they can find ways to deviate and authenticate the inauthentic.
These things matter in regard to the delicacy of the process and the relation to the audience. yes, you can CGI your way to pluto and beyond. Yes you can put an LED there, there and all the way over there for some reason. Yes you can try to AI yourself into not having to pay meal penalties or consider logistics and lodging, but you lose something in those digital processes that are not recoverable.
yes I am a Luddite. The Luddites were fucking right.
Some of my chief influences are Gaspar Noe. Lars Von Trier, Jordan Peele, Robert Eggers and of course Tarantino.
When it comes to Cinematography and photography I do my best to stay a ‘wild animal’ and just shoot freely. Because of this I am most often handheld. I love finding the shots. You can plan all you want for as long as you want, but until you’re in the room and are moving in the room and are under the effect of the lighting the actors and extras in position and set dec has been able to do their thing you don’t really know what you don’t know or won’t see. The classic “unknown, unknown” that I try to thrive on.
My poetry is similarly wild. I don’t want to stick to one school of thought or form. I wanna go from iambic pentameter to free verse to nursery rhyme whenever the mood hits me. I guard myself as best I can against it as best I can. I don’t have a schedule or routine, besides there being several spots that take influence over me where I’ll often find myself writing in a compulsive way such as sitting outside Java Lords and people watching and existing. there are places that can breathe life into you and for me and my art and my mental health I cannot get too divorced from such places when I find them. These are places where art flows out of me. Some of my mos influencial poets are Cummins, Bukowski, Peppernell, Dickinson and Baudelaire.
In regards to literature I’m simply looking for a focused, long form, medium for a deeper meditation on wherever may have affected me to the point that I’d want to give as much time and energy as it’d need. I work best when I’m allowed to work in “seasons”, soon I’ll take off the filmmaker brain and put the finishing touches on a novella I’d been sitting with for some time – equal parts anti-hero social commentary and delivering the bogyman the conservatives, fascists and monied are so hysterically guarded against. The writers who mst influence me are Steinbeck, Hemmingway, A. Roy, Marquez, Murakami and Camus.
When I do live events I want to deliver a scene that I’d want to be at that I’d just never found or doesn’t exist here and always have at least one interactive element.
Can you share something surprising about yourself?
Despite how gloomy, dreary, horrific or violent my work may be – it’s always all about love and humanity. That is all there is.
I am a melancholy child, a romantic and I do believe in a better world. Because of this I need community, people, energy, I need live. I gather life. I can do better at this, and I will, but I know these as needs and I know I will be a better human being and artist as long as I don’t lose sight of this.
I see the best in people. I want the best for people sometimes more than I want the best for myself. When I meet any of you I will be your biggest fan because you are human and you deserve to be uplifted you deserve love and life and freedom from the bastards that try to keep you down.
I am romantic in my art and life for better and worst.
In the words of kindred spirit, Catherine Breillat, “I am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and I thought people would see it because ‘romantic’ doesn’t mean ‘sugary.’ It’s dark and tormented…the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you can’t attain.”
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.bmishawn.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/bmishawn
Image Credits
BTS photos (5-6) courtesy of Justin Miller (@myhumblestopinion)
Illustration on “Love/Life” courtesy of @slowpokenz
