Today we’d like to introduce you to Sarah Bivens.
Sarah, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
I became a personal trainer in January 2015. Before that, I worked in the world of a tech startup, followed by marketing and advertising. I realized the intersection of my interests, passions, and talents when I started working with people around their health, fitness, and consciousness. Eventually, that work evolved into what I refer to as “lifestyle coaching” – walking through the process of understanding the core of themselves and seeing how that translated and manifested into every other area of their lives from work to relationships to physical wellness.
Then, in September 2016, I became a mother and my life and career assumed a whole new trajectory. In the month’s leading up to our birth, my husband Matthew and I started a podcast about our pregnancy and birth planning experience. We chose to have a home birth and weren’t finding a bunch of resources or stories that we could relate to around the topic. So, we launched “Doing It At Home” the same week our daughter Maya was born. What started as a passion project and mainly a way to document our own story for posterity has since grown to a community of tens of thousands of listeners, from other mothers and families to thought leaders and experts in the birth world.
As my journey of motherhood evolved, so did my role as a coach. I stopped personal training and moved exclusively into virtual lifestyle coaching, specifically for young mothers who need support and accountability in connecting with their sense of identity after motherhood. This inspired my second podcast, one that I host solo, called the Balance and Motherhood podcast. It’s a show all about navigating the journey of motherhood and finding your own unique sense of balance, along with owning your voice and being orgasmically in love with your life. Yes, you read that right – orgasmically. Because sexuality and motherhood is a topic that I am deeply passionate about. It’s a conversation that not many are having, and yet millions are starving for it.
Conscious, empowering dialogue about what it is to be a sexual being and also a fantastic, loving mother. Quite a big shift from working on marketing plans a few years prior, I know. And yet, it’s been this magical progression of events and circumstances that I have co-created to bring me where I am now.
I understand now that when I was younger, I was deeply empathic. In other words, I was a big sponge for others’ emotions. I was intensely influenced by the emotional environments I was in. I now see it as one of my beautiful gifts. But before I came to that acceptance, it took time to effectively manage it. That looked like years of depression, anti-depressants, unhealthy relationships and habits, and just genuinely not loving or valuing myself.
As my awareness began to increase, I started attracting things into my life that were more in alignment with what I believed I was truly worthy of. I made a lot of big changes – a new relationship, new city, new job. And I built upon those things by enlisting the support and accountability of community and tools that could continue to guide me on my path. So much of my transformation has been facilitated by a community in Sandy Springs called The YourDay Balance Game, a health and fitness platform powered by love and balance. I utilized coaches in terms of my own fitness and personal development.
And now, I have the joy of being married to my husband and life partner, Matthew. I’m Maya’s mama. I’m a podcast host of two amazing shows. I connect with clients daily on what it is to be their bold, unapologetic, badass selves. And I make time for me – the most important relationship I’ll ever have in my life. I’m playing for being an example of what’s possible for young mothers and inspiring them to change the world.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
I would not say it’s been a smooth road. And it took a while, but I’m actually at peace with that. Because the ebbs and flows are necessary. And there were certainly some ebbs.
Some of the biggest was my battles with depression that would swing back and forth from around the ages of 10 to 20. In my teens, I was on anti-depressants and in therapy. I had self-destructive thoughts and habits like cutting and intense crying episodes to the point of exhaustion.
Then, I looked for love as they say, “in all the wrong places.” I was convinced that a relationship would validate my worth. I needed to have a partner to have a purpose. That segued into a very unhealthy relationship with my sexuality and expression (or lack thereof).
The way I see it and understand it now is that everything that was showing up in my life was commensurate with the space I held for myself. What I believed I was worthy of, and what I had the capacity to receive from life is what manifested. I don’t have to judge that anymore or feel bad about it. It was what it was. Can I recognize times and seasons as painful? Absolutely. But I don’t have to dwell on any of that or make it who I am. I have a choice.
My advice for younger women on their journey is to have a mentor, or at the very least – hang around someone that is a number of steps ahead of you in the area that you are seeking to master. It takes a higher level of thinking and being to inspire moving beyond your current state. I sat around for a long time wanting things to change in my life – but didn’t change anything about my internal or external environments to facilitate those changes.
Another big one would be to practice gratitude every single day. Even for the stuff that is super difficult to find gratitude in – that’s the stuff you lean into even harder and identify something to be grateful for. That practice goes a long way and strengthens muscles that you will need.
And the last one, I’ll share is to be comfortable naked. Seriously, spend time with your naked body. We’re not encouraged to honor our bodies enough. Stand in front of the mirror daily and affirm it.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I help sexless young mothers to connect with their identity and sexuality through my Orgasmic Mama lifestyle coaching. It’s a process of balancing out the badass and the goddess within each woman and mother.
I believe that when a mother is in touch with her sexuality, she is unstoppable. A healthy relationship with our sexual expression carries into every other aspect of our lives. We’re more joyful, energetic, nurturing, productive and whatever else we want to be.
In addition to one-on-one coaching, I’m launching the Orgasmic Mama membership site in May 2019 – a place for mamas to access videos, audio content as well as downloadable and resources for being orgasmically in love with their lives. I’m very excited to bring my coaching to a space like this where thousands of mamas can utilize this energy.
In addition to my coaching, I host two podcasts:
Doing It At Home – a podcast about empowering home birth stories and resources that I host with my husband Matthew
Balance and Motherhood – a show I host by myself, sharing some of my coaching, insights, and experiences of navigating motherhood from balancing all the roles, connecting with your identity as a mama and yes – sex in motherhood.
What do you feel are the biggest barriers today to female leadership, in your industry or generally?
Ooooh, that’s a juicy question. Without going into what I feel are some of the many obvious bits of society and culture and all that jazz, I think it’s a belief in the barriers, perceptions in the obstacles themselves… are the greatest halts. When the female leaders buy into the idea that they’re not capable or that they have to do it the same way a man did it. Leading in a position that was or is normally held by a man does not mean it needs to be done like a man. So, shifting the standards and expectations can happen when we modify them ourselves in who we are and how we show up. I think to let go of narratives like “being too much” or “not being enough” give us the space to explore and thrive. To just BE.
I think moving things forward on a bigger level starts with the cellular level. Down to how we’re talking to ourselves, what we’re thinking and how we’re feeling. Mastering yourself and loving yourself breaks down any barriers. Because you’re not beholden to any other standards or metrics of acceptance.
Pricing:
- Orgasmic Mama Membership – $35/month
Contact Info:
- Website: www.sarahbivens.com, www.diahpodcast.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/sarahmbivens
Image Credit:
Sarah Bivens, Lorikay Stone
Getting in touch: VoyageATL is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.
