Today we’d like to introduce you to Sherese Shy-Holmes.
Sherese, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I was a broke divorcee and I felt like I had just lost everything— the car, the house, and the job. I was working one full-time job and one part-time job, just hoping not to get evicted. I wanted to be independent, pay my bills on time, not dodge bill collectors, and enjoy the simple things of life… like an Olive Garden dinner.
The thing is I was far from independence, I was barely making it living with roommates. That meant I was exhausted everyday from working two jobs, stressed about money and not enjoying the way my life turned out. I felt like I had hit a dead end and couldn’t catch a break. I worked hard to get ahead at work, only for them to tell me they were on a tight budget and senior positions wouldn’t be opening up. I felt the cards I had been dealt was how life would be. Striving and struggling for everything I needed. It made me feel like a failure entering my 30s. I didn’t have the status symbols of the amazing career, house, and marriage.
The problem was I had experienced so many successive defeats that I started to believe my goals were no longer attainable and I should just settle. I started to accept mediocrity and even disappointment. Then, as if by chance, something amazing happened— I hit bottom (stay with me here).
I know sometimes it’s hard for us to see hardship as a blessing but, my car got hit while it was parked on the curb in front of my house. It was the best thing that could’ve happened to me because it was the last straw. As I stood in the doorway of our house, my roommate walked up to me as I kept saying, ”I don’t understand why all these bad things are happening to me,” she responded ”maybe they are happening because you believe this is what you deserve.”
That’s when the light bulb switched on. I subconsciously believed that I deserved all the bad events that were happening to me so, the only way to stop it was to reject the belief that life was hard and I would always struggle.
I had to work through years of old beliefs that told me I was limited because I’m a woman, a minority, and wasn’t born wealthy. I started by reframing my expectations to focus on the positive things I wanted to achieve in my life. I put post-it notes all over my room with positive affirmations and created several vision boards of what my purpose was and the goals I wanted to achieve. Shortly after, I was able to get a raise at work that was enough to cover the income I was receiving from my part-time job… a sigh of relief.
So my plan was to start learning about goal setting, writing down the goals I wanted to achieve for the year, including some supporting affirmations and do the work to reframe my mindset to receive the things I deserved.
But there was still a problem…
It was taking sooooo long for me to achieve my goal. I’d see results but, it would take one or two years before I’d see the next goal accomplished. I couldn’t pinpoint what was actually working to achieve success. It seemed like I’d write the goal, do some positive thinking, and include affirmations and somehow I’d achieve the goal.
I wanted to see success happen more often instead of relying on happy, haphazard thinking. So, I decided to figure out if success was predictable and if there was a way I could duplicate it in a quicker fashion. I studied my past successes and the success stories of others and realized that success is actually predictable and I learned the key areas I needed to focus on to duplicate it in my life.
This has allowed me to transform goals that normally took years for me to accomplish and achieve them now in half the time. In one year, I was able to go from living with my grandparents to purchasing a two-unit residential building. I also got a new job, received consecutive promotions and won nationwide awards for my work.
After learning the secrets to success, I was able to become the independent self-sustaining woman I had dreamed of being. I was living in my own place, no longer stressing about money and enjoying a job that celebrated my skills. And that’s why I want to share with other women how to accomplish the secrets to success to help them reach their goals rapidly. It doesn’t have to take 3-4 years to see progress.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
My journey is nowhere close to being smooth. I’ve botched it up along the way, made poor decisions, and even backtracked a little. When you’re trying to undo years of programming of “I’m not good enough,” and trying to prove your worth, it’s easy to relapse into toxic thinking. My biggest struggle was me. I had to learn how to get out of my own way. I was a people pleaser with anger issues that carried a lot of anxiety.
I wanted to make everyone happy so I always overextended myself and if you crossed me, I’d unleash hell’s fury. It made for one heck of an emotional roller coaster that I justified as, “this is just the way I am.” Well, all that stress landed me in the ER multiple times so eventually, I realized that the things I did for and to other people were actually a reflection of how I felt about myself. It’s an ongoing journey, but healing from and releasing toxic beliefs was the key to my growth.
My primary advice to young women is to understand the impact of your thoughts on your reality because we create what we constantly think about, not what we want. If you want to change your reality, you have to change your thoughts.
Please tell us about The Resilient Me.
The purpose of The Resilient Me is to teach women how to achieve their goals mentally, financially and physically, even in the face of major setbacks and overwhelming obstacles. I want women to know that the last traumatic situation they endured, does not seal their fate and set limits on what they can accomplish.
It’s also about community. Creating a space for women to come together to encourage, empower and support each other. We were never meant to do life alone and with the support and connection of like-minded women, they’ll be able to give their voice, their dreams, and goals a place to be heard. Everyone has a different story or journey that needs to be shared. It’s through this connection with the tribe that we’re able to find the strength to accomplish what was once thought impossible.
Often it feels as if the media, by and large, is only focused on the obstacles faced by women, but we feel it’s important to also look for the opportunities. In your view, are there opportunities that you see that women are particularly well positioned for?
I believe we’re in a prime position to change the narrative of what’s possible for women. Now more than ever, our generation has the opportunity to break glass ceilings that were set before us and encourage our sisters, daughters, friends, etc. to dream beyond the realm of their own limitations. If you’ve seen another woman do it, you can too. Even if you haven’t seen another woman do it, you have a tribe that says, “yes, you can!”
One area in particular that I feel we can have the most impact is the growth of woman-owned businesses. I’ve seen qualified women be overlooked for promotions because of the time they were out on maternity leave. I’ve seen women pitch amazing ideas at the table only to have their voice reduced by their male counterparts— in addition to the inequality of pay. There is so much that a woman has to consider sacrificing to rise on the career ladder, that a woman-owned business could definitely change. Should we fight for these things in the workplace, yes. However, we should also consider creating what we need, companies where men and women are championed equally.
Pricing:
- Reset Journal $25.00
Contact Info:
- Website: www.theresilient.me
- Email: ask@theresilient.me
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theresilient.me/
- Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/theresilient.me
- Other: https://anchor.fm/theresilient-me
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