An Inspired Chat with Setra Sundahta of East Atlanta Village

Setra Sundahta shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Hi Setra, thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
I started my musical journey several years ago. As a young artist, considered attractive by some, I had to deal with stalkers, people (men and women) who came to my shows and fancied themselves in love with me because my music touched them deeply. The attention frightened me and made me hesitant to pursue my calling. “I don’t want to be famous,” I’d tell my friends. I value my privacy and don’t want to give it up. Plus, some of my songs are what some would consider controversial as they deal with social issues like how many of us spend so much time on social media coveting the lives of the “rich and famous,”‘ or a song about how the government is supposed to work for us, and not the other way around. And how, just because it’s on television, that doesn’t mean it’s true.

Sometimes the messenger is quieted in not so nice a way. I was afraid of that kind of attention. But now I feel that the times we’re living in now are too important to remain quiet anymore. Not to say that I’m not still afraid, but I’m no longer letting fear stop me from pursuing my call to do, as I was told in a dream, “lead the people back to the light.” I’m currently writing a one woman show where I’ll be performing some of these songs and talking about how I received my calling.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Setra. I didn’t know what the name meant until I went to an ancient Egyptology class. When I told the instructor my name, he nodded and went to the blackboard, writing out my name in hieroglyphics. “Daughter of the Sun,” he announced in a booming voice. He looked like the man in the dream I’d had about a week prior to that. I’d recently had a dream that caused me to completely change my life path. I’d been working in a law firm and early one morning had a dream that I was a very successful business woman on my way home to Chicago. There was an accident and the plane crashed. As I was drifting in the darkness, a voice started speaking to me.

“You were brought here to lead the people back to the light,” the booming voice said, “But you too became seduced by the darkness. As a result, not doing what you were brought here to do. It’s too late to get on the right path, so you have to go back and start again.”

There was a shift and, although I was still dreaming, I was back in my present day body while the voice continued.

“Once again, not doing what you were brought here to do,” the voice admonished me. “It’s not too late to get on the right path, but you’re approaching the crossroad now. Once you pass that point, it’s going to be too late. What are you going to do?”

I awoke breathing so hard I had to calm myself, the last question resounding in my head. What was I going to do? Well, I thought, obviously working at the law firm wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. I got up that morning, showered and dressed, went into work and handed in my resignation. There was nothing anyone could say to keep me there. Thus began my journey.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
I was raped at the age of twelve and, as a result of that, I felt that I was damaged goods, no longer worthy of love (I wrote a song about that experience).

I no longer believe that. I believe that we are all worthy of love. But we first have to learn how to forgive and ultimately love ourselves. It’s been a long journey but I’ve reached the point where I truly love myself. Until we love ourselves, we can’t love anyone else., as love is a verb. It starts within and emanates outward.

What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
One of the defining wounds of my life has to be the lack of a real relationship with my mother. I was in foster care for a few years as a young child, which definitely took its toll. And, even after my mother took me back, even when she was there physically, she was absent emotionally. I was often ignored, unless she needed me to do something, like go to the store or clean the kitchen. I have no childhood memories of being hugged or told that I was loved. This left a big hole inside of me.

I had an older sister who died. I felt that, even though my mother never displayed any warmth, kindness or love outwardly, it had to be hard to lose a child. So every year, I’d call my mother on my sister’s birthday and we’d talk about my sister.

During one such conversation, my mother said, “Your sister was always doing things for me, trying to get me to love her. But you never did that. Why not?”

“Well,” I said, “when I was a child, I felt like I could connect with people on a core level. But every time I tried to see/connect with your core, I’d see a brick wall. So after a while I just stopped trying.”

My mother was silent for a long time. Then she told me about something emotionally painful that happened to her when she was about three years old. She decided that she was never going to love anyone again, and that way she could never be hurt again. It wasn’t until I said what I said about seeing the brick wall that she realized that while she’d cut herself off from loving and being hurt, she’d also cut herself off from being loved.

Not only was this an epiphany for her, but also for me. I think that some people, when something traumatic happens to them at a very young age, it breaks them, and they never progress beyond whatever age they were when that thing happens. I realized that my mother was still that broken three year old.

I lived with my grandmother for about three years before going back to live with my mother. My grandmother was a very unhappy and bitter woman and by the time I returned to live with my mother, I was traumatized. I could only imagine what it must have been like for my mother, being born into that. My mother had never received the unconditional love that most people receive from their parents, from their mothers in particular. I decided that I was going to unconditionally love my mother so that she wouldn’t leave this life without knowing what that felt like.

What I didn’t realize at the time was, by healing my mother, I was also healing myself. I started treating my mother like a petulant three year old, and experienced, in amazement, as she started blossoming. After about a year of this, she stopped tensing up every time I hugged her. When she finally asked for a hug, instead of my continuing to force them on her, I knew I’d made a major breakthrough.

I learned so much from that situation. Now, instead of getting upset at people when they do something I find disrespectful or offensive, I focus on that broken child within them and approach the situation with love and understanding. It’s a life changer for me.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
My project, for lack of a better word, is to, as the voice in my dream instructed, “lead the people back to the light.” This is an ongoing project that I will be working on until I take my last breath.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
Am I doing what I was told to do? I ask myself this question on a regular basis. Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. Like I’m not on the path that I should be done. Like I could be doing more. Then I’ll run into someone that I haven’t seen in a long time, and they’ll tell me about how I said something to them while they were going through a rough time, and it changed their perspective on life and now their life is so much better, thank you.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that leading people “back to the light” means that we’re all walking in the darkness. I have to remind myself that the speed of motion on the path is not nearly as important as the direction. To that end, I’m currently crafting a one-woman show entitled “Back to the Light,” in which I tell the story of part of my journey, through song and storytelling.

So, yes, I do feel that I’m doing what I was told to do.