Today we’d like to introduce you to Tsahai McQuilkin-Layne.
Hi Tsahai, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I think the journey to becoming a community leader is one I didn’t know I had been preparing for most of my life- it just fell into my lap. In retrospect, I realize that I always had a harder time connecting with new people and of course, that gap widened once I left the world of being a student. Unlike many of my peers, I did not graduate from college, so I never got to form those lifelong friendships that everyone talks about.
Outside of going to work and talking to people online, my margin for human interaction was pretty low. I started posting for fun on TikTok around the fall of 2022, just having fun with the app. After a few months of using it, the algorithm synced up with other Black women in Atlanta around my age range who were all saying the same thing, that they were abnormally lonely. COVID-19 definitely changed the way we engage with each other and for me, it exasperated my already bad social anxiety.
Being a kid who grew up with exposure to technology and online chatting forums, I was never a stranger to talking to strangers. Interestingly, I was never lacking in friends that I made on Instagram years ago from a spam account, but unfortunately, the distance issue still left much to be desired. One day, I decided to share an invitation on TikTok to meet at Colony Square. I had no actual plan or expectation of who would come out or if anyone would at all. All I knew was I wanted to feel something after being caught in the monotony of working and going home day in and day out.
I also wanted to facilitate a space for others to find what they’re looking for outside of social media. I arrived at the public space by myself with a poster board, two Sharpies, and name tags. I’ll never forget how silly and nervous I felt just sitting alone in the courtyard until the first person showed up. Before I knew it, there were over one hundred Black women talking, laughing, and even making plans to go somewhere after the event.
At the time, I was overjoyed at the turnout but was prepared to write it off as a one-time stroke of luck. Then the demand came to host another event and another. It became clear to me that there was a huge need for what I was building, a community where Black Women of all backgrounds and ages could feel like they belong and actually connect with each other.
Fast forward a little over a year later, and we stand at one hundred and twenty-eight members, have hosted over thirty events, and are gearing up for our fourth public meetup event on March 23rd. Every day I get to wake up with excitement for what the future could hold for Free to Be Collective.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
No way. When I prayed for my life’s purpose to be shown to me, I had no idea what it would actually take to put it into motion. Being in the beginning stages of owning and operating an organization is hard and being in the beginning stages of owning and operating an organization that also acts as a social club is harder. Free to Be Collective has a huge mission, to close the loneliness gap for Black Women through authentic community building.
We also stand for creating spaces that are truly inclusive of all Black Women regardless of age, aesthetic, ability, socioeconomic background, and sexuality. Every day, I have to make the conscious decision to make sure I’m representing who we are and staying in tune with what my community needs. I chose to serve them and it’s a rewarding labor of love that I believe teaches me something new every day.
As an entrepreneur, it’s a struggle to manage my 9-5 workload and somehow make time to properly run every aspect of Free to Be and find time for myself. I’m blessed to have a team of dynamic women on my side who function as the Executive Board. They’re the engine that powers different branches of F2B’s operations and oftentimes, powers me emotionally. I’ve found a friend and support system in them. Being a small self-funded organization, the main struggle is money.
We have not yet secured outside funding to assist with the costs of planning events and keeping our group running but we’re working on building up our Partnership and Sponsor initiatives. It’s important to me that this organization remains accessible to as many people as possible which is why our membership dues are only $10 per month and our quarterly public meetups are free. It isn’t an easy path to take, but I believe it is the right one in line with our values at Free to Be Collective.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
By day, I’m a Marketing and Communications professional but alongside that, I am a content creator. Most of my videos live on TikTok where I post about a variety of topics, normally sharing vulnerable stories that center around my multifaceted identity as a Black Woman. I’m proud that I’m using my platform to share messages that would make my thirteen-year-old self feel seen and understood.
At this point in my journey online, I’m not 100% sure what I’m “known” for, and defining that scares me a little. It can be daunting trying to make sure that what I’m sharing is actually being received in the way I intended it to be. But at the same time, I can’t control anyone’s perception of me. I hope that my page is associated with confronting internalized issues, understanding trauma, and well, silliness. I also like to laugh and be unserious.
I’m not really interested in being set apart from others, I don’t know how to measure my reputation against anyone else’s and I don’t think I want to. I make content based on what I feel like talking about and most of the time, I’m sharing things I need to hear. I also enjoy seeing other creators do the same thing in their own way.
Risk-taking is a topic that people have widely differing views on – we’d love to hear your thoughts.
As humans we have the tendency to overanalyze things to the point where we think they’re riskier than they really are. For me, every time I decide to share an opinion online or ask for support for my organization, I’m taking a risk. Any time we share ourselves with the public, we’re taking a risk. But, when you actually measure what the worst-case scenario of taking a risk is, it’s probably rooted in what exists in someone else’s head about you. And what people think about me personally isn’t really any of my business.
Choosing to make myself vulnerable by showing up to the meetups I host is always risky. I’m never sure how many people will come out or if they’ll enjoy themselves and how the weather will be. There are so many factors that go into what we do when it comes to Free to Be events, but the reward is so much higher every single time. I think the average person takes more risks than they’re aware of but doesn’t give themselves enough credit.
Contact Info:
- Website: F2bcollective.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tsahailayne?igsh=MWs0bzgxMDl4OXJtMA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/99017288/admin/feed/posts/
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@TsahaiLayne?si=PI4fum2A0-5Emu7d
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tsahailayne?_t=8kg3qno4rvf&_r=1
