Today we’d like to introduce you to Dionne Davis.
Hi Dionne, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
I am a single mother and a childcare Provider. As far back as I can remember I always enjoyed caring for others. I am the youngest of six siblings but somehow I was the designated babysitter for my older siblings. When my mother and her friends was having “Girls Night” then I became the neighborhood baby sister. When my mother’s coworkers needed a babysitter she recommended me and this birth the caregiver in me.
Fast forward to November 2007, I went to the doctor for a yearly check-up and the examiner felt a small lump in my breast. She asked me a series of questions and she concluded that it was nothing to worry about. However, it was still in the back of my mind that I have a lump in my breast.
Two months later, I was just snuggling with my fiancé at the time and he felt the lump. He asked about it and I told him that I already got it checked out and the doctor said its fine. He asked me to get it checked again and I said I would.
Another month pasted and then I could find the lump without searching for it. A couple more weeks passed and now the lump is getting bigger and bigger so I decided to try and go get a mammogram. I made the appointment with my primary care doctor (because that was protocol) to ask if I could get a mammogram appointment.
I got to my primary care appointment and the doctor asked why I was there. I told him I wanted to get a mammogram. The doctor basically laughed in my face. He told me I was too young (29) to be thinking about that. He then asked why do I want to get a mammogram. I told him how I have a lump in my breast and how it has gotten bigger over the last couple of months. He asked to take a look, he felt the lump and still concluded that it was nothing. I explained how it was very small and now it’s bigger. The doctor said to me “Just to ease your mind I will send you to get the mammogram but you have to make me a promise”. He said “You have to come back and tell me I was right once you get the results back”.
Unfortunately, I was not able to do that. About a month later I went to get the mammogram and the clinic did all kinds of tests. A week after that I went back to get the results and the results were I was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. The doctor came in with a plan of action and I started chemo the very next week. (A Week before Christmas)
I was alone when I got the results because I was convinced that it was nothing. I was just going through the motions to get through the rest of the day. I picked my son up from school (My son was seven years old at the time) came home, grabbed so dinner on the way home and waited for my fiancé to arrive.
When he got home I told him what the doctor said and he gave me the biggest hug and said “YOU will get through this”. The word YOU stood out in my mind at that moment but I just didn’t address it. I remember this so clearly, like it was a movie I watched. All of this took place on a Wednesday. I just tried to keep calm and continue with day-to-day life. Friday came and I was glad to be able to rest for the weekend. I came inside the house and there were 3 suitcases at the door. I got excited because I thought my fiancé was taking us on a weekend getaway because he knew I had a hard week.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. My fiancé told me that “He was not a hospital person and he could not go on this journey with me.” He walked out and left me and my son.
Well, There I was. Lost, Confused and Alone. So not only did I have to explain to my child that the man who had been in his life for the last 3 years is gone, but I also had to explain to him that his mother has cancer and very will could die from this disease. At the time I made the best decision that I thought I could make, I didn’t tell him about the cancer. It was hard to tell him that this man would not be coming around anymore I could not break his heart twice.
So I hid everything from him! I didn’t show any signs of sickness, hair loss, sadness or anger I just bottled it all up and kept praying to God that I live and not died. As treatment went on, it got harder and harder to hide it from him. I used before school and after school programs to help me take care of my son. He went to the boys and girls club after school and that lasted to 8pm at night (they feed them dinner and helped with homework). Then I would pull together enough strength to go pick him up and bring him home for 2nd dinner (growing boy lol)and bedtime.
I didn’t have very much family that lived in Georgia and the little family I did have didn’t make me or my son a priority in their lives.
But GOD is so amazing!!!!!!
He surrounded me with friends and a church family that took care of me and my son. They sent cooked meals and even came over to clean up and do laundry for us. The doctors and nurses knew I was alone every week (Thursday) that I had to go for chemotherapy treatments so they would start doing things like placing close to the nurses stations so they can look after me, making sure I had whatever I needed books, tv, snacks, a warm blanket (my favorite) or just sitting with me and talking with me on my 4 plus hour stay. They all know me by my first name and made me feel like a celebrity when I came to the hospital.
Grady Hospital is like non-other. They really went out of their way to make sure that my mind and my body was healing while I was there. God covered me every day! You don’t realize it sometimes when you are going through but now that I’m on the other side of my healing I understand that I was never alone and I had everything that I needed even though it felt like I didn’t anything.
Fast forward to my healing. GOD DID IT!!!!! He healed my body I went through Chemotherapy, Surgery and Radiation treatments and now I am CANCER FREE.
I started to realize that I didn’t share this part of my life with my son. He was 12 years old at this point in my life getting ready to go to high school soon. I shared with a family member that I wanted to write a children’s book about a purple scarf. I didn’t have all the details yet but I knew it would be about cancer and a purple scarf. Well at that moment I learned the reason why you should not share your dreams with others. That family member looked me right in my face and said that that was a STUPID idea. Kids don’t want to read about cancer, Children’s books are supposed to be happy books not books about an ugly disease that kills people every year.
My dream was broken at that moment, however it stilled lived in my heart.
Years later my grandfather died from cancer, then a couple of years after that my uncle died from cancer and a few years after that my dad died from cancer.
And that was the final straw. I realized that conversations needed to be had with my family and as well as others. Cancer had taken to many loved ones from me and it may have been prevented it we all would have talked about what’s going on in out lives.
I had to find a way to talk about it. I put aside the hurt, embarrassment, the ridicule and the shame and begin to live in my truth. I no longer wanted to hide. So I started writing and praying. The more I wrote, the better I felt about the situation. I finally had the conversation with my son about what was going on in my life as he was growing up. It brought a lot of clarity and cleared up a lot of misconceptions my son had about me as a mother. One big misconception was that my son thought that I didn’t want to do things with him or take him places because I was always just laying on the sofa, when in reality I was sick and didn’t have the strength to go places and do things with him. In my mind being on the sofa was my way of spending time with him instead of being in my bedroom all the time.
When I would speak with other parents with children who have cancer most of them would always say they didn’t know how to talk to their child about. I have seen how my son was effective by me hiding the truth therefore, I want to help others make a better decision then I made. I want cancer survivors to have meaningful conversations with their children and let them in on the healing process.
From that my book Ebony’s Purple Scarf was birth. A book you can use as a tool to help you have the difficult conversation with children about cancer and the side effects the medicines can have on your body.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
The road to becoming an author was not smooth at all.
First, I didn’t know anything about becoming an author. I like to say that I was self-taught. I went to Clubhouse and learned everything I could by being in all the author rooms.
I enrolled in a class with the Children’s book Guru Crystal Swain Bates. And this put the fire under my feet. I can’t blame myself for not knowing what I don’t know but it was and still is hard.
I have been taking advantage of by people in this industry who offer a service for a price and the service doesn’t make the description. Marketing has been challenging as well only because my finances are not stretching like I need them to pay for ads, a personal assistant, and things of that nature. There’s a lot that goes into being an author after you write and published a book. I published this book myself. That means I had to go through every step on my own to produce a quality book and I’m proud of that.
One obstacle with getting my book out into the world is that my story and my life is attached to the book therefore, I can’t sell the book without telling my story, and sometimes the enemy creeps in and put doubts in my mind about who I am, what I’ve been through and where I’m going in the next chapter of my life.
Another obstacle is being a part of an industry that is really not welcoming to black and brown people. That’s another reason why my book is important to me because it allows little girls and boys that look like me to have a positive image of themselves in a book. I believe my biggest challenge is stepping out of who I was and becoming who I am.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
My full-time job is that I am a proud Nanny. I get to go to work every day and do what I love to do which is take care of babies ages 0 to 5. Being a cancer survivor pushed me into becoming a nanny. Before I was a nanny, I worked in childcare centers as a lead teacher in the classroom. When I was diagnosed, my doctor advised me to not stress so much. Working in a classroom and a childcare center is a high level of stress.
I remember a couple of years before I got diagnosed with cancer. One of my parents in my classroom asked me did I ever considered being a nanny. She explained that I was an excellent teacher, but she believed that I will be an even better nanny. At the time, I thought she was just joking, but I found out a few weeks later that she was expecting a second child and was actively looking for a nanny, that complement always stayed in the back of my mind because like I said earlier, growing up, I was the neighborhood babysitter. I always took care of the babies, and that’s what I love to do.
When the doctor advised me to try to have a job that minimizes stress, Nannying was the first job that came to mind. It allowed me to do what I love to do and get paid for it in a less stressful environment. I told myself I would try being a nanny for one year and see if I liked it. That was ten years ago and I have loved every minute of it.
That’s what I do, that’s what I’ve known for and that’s definitely what I specialize in. I have helped over six families in the last ten years some families with children with disabilities, developmental delays and families with multiple little ones. I’m most proud of the relationships that I’ve made with all the families that I have cared for. Some of my families come from the childcare center I worked for before diagnosis. I’ve done various babysitting jobs for them and their children are now teenagers and I still have a relationship with those children.
I’m also most proud of the work that I do with the organization entitled National Domestic Worker’s Alliance. Within this organization, I hold a seat on the Nanny Worker Council and I’m also a spokesperson. What this organization does is fight for domestic workers ( nannies, house, cleaners, and home home care workers) so they can get equal pay and equal respect as all other jobs. I have been to DC and talked to our Georgia Congressman/ Congresswoman about how important passing the domestic workers bill of rights is to me. This bill will allow domestic workers to have every benefit that any job offers upon hiring such as sick leave, vacation pay insurance, 401(k), and harassment protection. I have been with the organization since 2019 and since I’ve been there, I have seen states recognize parts of this bill and grant it to domestic workers. Recently, President Biden has signed an executive order that acknowledges the month of April Care Workers Month and it’s because of all the hard work this organization does to get recognized and heard by the lawmakers.
And of course, it goes without saying that what I’m most proud of is becoming a self-published author, how I have published the first book from a series of books that I’m writing, and how me telling my story and giving God the glory has landed me right here with you for this interview.
What sets me apart from others is that I am a survivor of a deadly disease! Telling my testimony is hopefully uplifting others who have been in this situation and who are going through this situation right at this very moment. I hope that it empowers them to keep pushing forward to never give up on your dreams. I’m a true believer in everything happens for a reason and I can’t thank God enough for letting me survive cancer so I can be a voice for others who are going through the exact same thing and are lost and can’t find the words to open up to their children.
How do you think about happiness?
Well, this is such a simple question but it is complex at the same time. It’s the little simple things that make me happy like good coffee, being near the ocean, traveling, good food, and spending time with my loved ones.
However, the longer I’m here on earth I realize that true happiness comes from within. and its the simple things in life that mean the most, however most overlooked them daily because it is granted to us, for instance, just waking up in the morning and having an opportunity for another day in the land of the living is true happiness for me. No matter what I faced with, no matter what difficult task that the day may bring, I’m truly grateful to be able to conquer it. There was a time in my life that I didn’t think I would see my 30th birthday but here I am at 46 years old, still conquering my dreams and living life out loud and not apologizing for it.
Happiness is having true friends and genuine family that loves you no matter what.
Pricing:
- Hardcover Book $25
- Soft Cover Book $20
- Speaking events negotiable
- Book Coaching $125 and up
Contact Info:
- Website: Sincerelydionne.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/Sincerelydionne?igshid=YmMTA2M2Y=
- Facebook: Sincerelydionne
- Linkedin: Sincerely Dionne
- Youtube: Sincerelydionne
Image Credits
Dionne Monique
