We’re looking forward to introducing you to Gaffney Taylor. Check out our conversation below.
Good morning Gaffney, it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? Are you walking a path—or wandering?
I am wandering with a little bit of skipping, because my life path feels so renewed and happy, the pavement on a rainy day could not steal the shine of my smile. I chuckled at this question a little bit because I think it is a silly notion that “wandering,” typically associated with being lost, could be a bad thing. I used to say “I feel lost,” in a negative connotation, but now I see it as a blessing. I’ve been studying this topic in a book on the history of fairy tales that I’m researching to write a fiction novel. Back when people had no computers, GPS, or technology, if you went wandering into the woods, it was not very easy to find your way out of the forest because trees obscured the night sky, so you could not navigate with the stars. Myths formed around the idea of never returning home because of abduction by monsters, fairies, wood creatures, etc. Wandering to many people is the notion that you are lost, similar to fairytales, when walking a path has a definitive end that is considered more positive. This is not always the case (of course, to some people, to wander with no “direct” plan in life is a very freedom-oriented way to live, and that’s ok). I like the middle ground of having a plan, but being open-minded if a good opportunity springs up that can shape my life in a positive, different way. I think there can be liberation in allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to wander. Wander to me implies a looseness in mentality. You don’t take things as seriously, so there’s more space for laughter and fun. I often feel my happiest when I have more room to get lost in various ways: exploring new hobbies, a new book, learning how to help others, singing even if I’m off-key, etc. You know why I’m ok with this? Because I am my best friend, and I enjoy the company of being with myself immensely. I’ve survived my toughest moments, so if another tough moment comes, I will be able to handle it better each time a new crisis may occur.
If someone tells you, “You should have your life figured out by now,” question that. In this day and age, wandering can open up the time you have to explore what works for you, especially if you face any disabilities. There are simple ways you can get lost/wander too as a form of self-care. Try getting lost in your favorite TV show, book, bubble bath, music, dance form, gym routine, digging your toes into the grass, whatever it might be, and just allow yourself to be present in the moment without judgment or shame. Pride yourself in being able to take time to care of your well-being. The biggest strength I’ve learned since speaking with Voyage last is knowing that by becoming my own best friend and taking care of myself first, I’ll be able to help others more thoroughly and form healthier relationships.
The more we rely on the opinions of others to shape our own, the more we become victims of people pleasing and confusion. Seek out knowledge from differing sources and let it brew in the back of your mind. What I love about any kind of literature is the lessons it has taught me so far on how to see life from multiple perspectives to make more educated and smarter decisions in my life. I revisit the same paragraphs and analyze the same books over and over again, because I always find something new.
I see the world like a constellation where we are all stars and where we are all connected like dots and sometimes the wrong person may seem to move out of their orbit and streak across the sky, colliding into us and causing destruction, but for many moments, there was beauty in the way they played a part in our lives, and purpose. They taught us how to lose ourselves, then find ourselves again. To be human isn’t a solo adventure all the time, but we must cherish ourselves first to still be a functioning star that can repel the negativity life throws at us.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hello, wonderful readers! My name is Gaffney Taylor, and I am a multi-passionate creative with an ICF Certification as an Expressive Arts Coach from FLOW Coaching Institute. I am a soon-to-be graduate of Queens University of Charlotte’s MFA Creative Writing program and hold two photography degrees, with experience working in the fashion photography industry with celebrity clients. Now, my branding has been many things in the past, each time morphing into a newer and better version than the last. The important thing to remember is that any creative person’s mind is individually theirs, and it can take a while to find your voice as an artist, especially if you have many interests that intersect. I’ve been doing a lot of creation behind the scenes lately and taking time away from social media to take care of my mental health and career goals. I’ve been wandering in a good way, exploring different business strategies and picking up some life coaching clients, but most importantly, finishing my degree with Queens University of Charlotte. I am forever grateful for the amazing faculty, staff, and friends I’ve made along the way there. They have shaped me into the writer and person I am today. The MFA program’s belief in its students to succeed despite hardship and be an uplifting support, while providing top-notch teaching, is unmatched. When interviewing with Voyage in the past, I have been very open about each stage my business has taken, and my ideas about healing still stand true. Creativity and intuitive self-awareness go a long way in healing the human psyche from an emotional standpoint. I believe that creative expression in its various forms (writing, music, dance, painting, clay, etc.), when used properly, can heal in so many ways.
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
I’d have to say that my best friend, Rebecca, really opened my eyes to self-care on a much deeper level. She reminded me of the example of airline guidelines. When oxygen masks are released due to a change in air pressure on planes, you are instructed to put your mask on as an adult before helping a child, because if you pass out before getting your mask on, the ability to help any child will be jeopardized. I say this not to scare you, but to encourage you to prioritize yourself before facing burnout in everyday life and risk not being able to fend for yourself or those you care about. I’ve had people all my life not respect my boundaries because of things like being a woman, being pretty, dressing like a fashionista, therefore, “she must not be smart,” the tone of my voice, and my mannerisms. It’s amazing and very sad, the stories people create to put you down without knowing you. I am cautious about who I surround myself with as an empathic, compassionate, and both an introverted and an extroverted person. Everyone has growth edges they are up against, and right now, mine are learning how to become a better activist for my needs by setting stronger priorities with my boundaries with others and leading by being a positive example, i.e., continuing to use my voice to help others and writing a novel that won’t change the world, but will deeply impact people’s lives for the better.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
Pain is hidden in so many ways for various reasons, depending on what the person has. Someone can be in physical pain and hide it, but often, mental illness is invisible, a lot of the time. I think what drew the line for me was seeing how people could use my pain against me. I went through a toxic relationship several years ago and had a bipolar episode. When I came home, the focus wasn’t on the fact that I had been missing in a psych ward for 3 weeks, or that I had been homeless for a day, but that my apartment had been messy. Avoiding an issue by misplaced blame is not ok, and the more I saw this happen, I turned to literature and became a “seeker” of healthier communities, knowledge, and self-growth. Having a voice through Voyage encouraged me to speak up about mental illness because I was seeing other people in my life struggle too, and they did not know what to do about it. If I can shine light on an issue that is misunderstood, I will. I am not “damaged” or “flawed” because of a mental illness. I’m the strongest, healthiest, and best version of myself I have ever been, and at the end of the day, people can encourage you, but you have to put in the work, and so I did. And also, I don’t want to see my mental illness as a ‘power,’ because the topic of power throughout history has been used as a form of greed, like money. I see my pain and particularly my diagnosis as a strength at this point in my life. It can be difficult, but I think there is a difference between holding power over someone with your voice and presenting information and allowing from a distance someone else to take what they find helpful and leave behind what they don’t.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
I used to think that letting anyone be a part of my life was healthy because of the concept of “the benefit of the doubt.” There’s a saying that goes along the lines of: “You are destined to become the five people you surround yourself with the most.” It wasn’t until I started seeing this behavior manifest itself in my relationships that I realized the validity of this statement. Just like TV ads, the more you are “conditioned” to hearing the same messages over and over, or being around toxic behavior, the easier it is to internalize these messages and take them on as your own. I highly encourage young women to research the term “coercive control,” because as a woman, I know what it’s like to be told what to eat, what to wear, how to style my hair, and basically how to be molded into someone who is not my authentic self. The more you educate yourself on topics like these, the better. So basically, I’ve learned that being kind is a gracious gift as a human being to have, but setting boundaries and cutting toxic people out of your life means that you have healthy standards.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. If immortality were real, what would you build?
If immortality were real, I would build an ocean next door to mountains, with a house in the dead center of both, sturdy on the ground, half the floor covered in sea waves, the other half the bank of the forest. This house would be small, quaint—with an open porch, covered head to toe in windows with draw-back curtains, and purified mountain air with a hint of salt. When nighttime comes, I could turn my head to the right and listen to the waves crashing against my home–so safe, so sound. I’d see a black infinity where the waves’ horizon line normally lives, then turn my head to the left and hear the wolves howling at the moon, the pitch black outline of the forest trees crisp against the moon illuminating the sky. Each sunrise, I’d wake and travel barefoot onto the shore, building sand castles, and be reminded of all the times I lost my innocence, then found myself again. I’d observe the wind blowing away the bits of burning sand against my skin, and know that pain is gone with each life lesson learned for good. Time would still exist in this way. Each time I build a castle, a new wound is released when the wind blows back into itself, but a little farther away from my steady spot by the sea foam and roots of trees in the ocean water. The warmth of the sun would not burn or ache, it would feel peaceful, inviting, and this world would be teeming with life, creatures mysterious and old and new and beautiful, like all of us.
I think time is a beautiful thing. When you are acutely aware of the time you have left to live on this earth, it becomes something precious to hold onto. The idea for this response to immortality originally surfaced from the idea of “wise mind” in DBT, a form of therapy. This particular concept is traditionally taught in a Venn diagram format where the left circle is reasonable mind, the right circle emotion mind, and the integration/balancing of these states is in the center as wise mind. The house, in the center of the ocean and forests, represents wise mind.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @renaissanceveggies
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Image Credits
The model in the red photograph is Neleah Patton.
