Today we’d like to introduce you to Anna Newbury
Hi Anna, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
My story. How did I start? How did I get where I am today? Well first of all, where am I today?
Today, I am teetering on the edge
of the dead-end cliff of self-criticism
and taking a breath ‘
before I begin again.
My story begins with
permission.
And it’s greatest opposition,
perfection.
That debilitating fiend, that keeps one from ever starting or, for that matter, finishing something. The fiend that stops one in their tracks at the mere idea of failing or daring to succeed. Everyone has ideas of what success is, or should look like, and none of those perfect ideas are actually relevant to the journey one embarks upon when they begin to lay down a hand cobbled path of their own unique artistic journey.
For me, it has been a path that has been laid one stone at a time, carefully placed and labored over each step of the way. Success is a daily journey. The beauty of that journey is in the imperfection, the uniqueness of the daily struggle, failure to do it all, and success of doing some. Each day I act, I make, I create. I am building a life one stone at a time. Sometimes I carry too many stones on my back, that the weight of it all is almost crushing. Sometimes I run out of stones and have to start digging for the next one. Sometimes, I’m too tired to keep going and I need to rest.
As an actor, creator and maker, I have laid the stones of training
and training
and training,
I have studied
and studied
and studied,
I have taught
and taught
and taught,
I have acted,
choreographed
directed,
again, again, again.
I have learned
and learned
and learned,
struggled
and struggled
and struggled,
failed,
and flourished
and failed
and flourished.
And all the while life persists,
like water finding its way into the cracks.
I have laughed
and loved
and laughed
and love 😉
I have lost
and grieved
and lost
and grieved.
I have been crushed,
cried,
craved,
carved my way
ahead and onward.
Laying the stones,
marking each moment,
each stone a token
of a life
struggling to be lived fully,
that only in looking back,
resembles a journey.
A life
of art
cobbled
together
into a
beautiful
mosaic.
Ahead is a wilderness
demanding
me
to
find
my
way
one
stone
at
a
time.
And then there exists the present,
here and now,
where all I can do
is give myself permission
to take a breath ‘
and tend to this moment
imperfectly.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
My story of being an artist, beginning with permission and grappling with imperfection along the way, definitely has been a bumpy road.
Most often, I am my own greatest obstacle. So many things can get in the way: insecurity, ego, or some combination of both and their many tendrils of fear, shame, jealousy, comparison, envy, self loathing, competitiveness, anxiety, paranoia, bitterness, resentment, pettiness, self pity, etc etc etc etc etc. All of which, get in the way and block the path. Time and again they have held me back from presence, from delight, from passion, from connection, from community, from my own ambition, and perhaps from my best work on occasion. The gift of observing this in myself is that I can give myself permission to face it head on. This is the fundamental importance I have found in being an artist. To be an observer and participant, that we might then have permission to change. Always with enough space and grace for imperfection because we are never done.
Observation. To see. To notice. To wake up to new information. To become present. To pay attention. To become aware.
Participation. To engage wholeheartedly. To take action. To get involved, to take part, and to take responsibility for one’s presence.
This was a lesson from Mary Overlie , whose postmodernist philosophy of the Six Viewpoints attempts to move the world into a non-hierarchical lens. Instead of “Artist as Creator/Originator”, she reframed and reified it as “Artist as Observer/Participant.” An inherent shift took place, from hierarchy to non-hierarchy, within the framework of the Six Viewpoints.
Participation is a word we tend to be really familiar with as children. We usually get a grade in it. As an adult, I have enjoyed returning to its lessons. Working with people is both incredibly difficult and incredibly rewarding. My greatest accomplishments have been in relationship to the gift of having been able to train and work alongside incredible people. The relationship that is built with my fellow artists through the process of working together creatively is always transformative.
However, working in relationship to others, may be one of the greatest challenges I have consistently faced. There have been a number of times where I really had to overcome a major set back caused by interactions I experienced working with certain people. And I know that there has been imperfection at times in how I have tended to my collaborative relationships. Unintended but all too real impacts. Going through life, is sort of like someone has turned out all the lights, and we all just stumble and fumble around, groping in the dark, bumping into one another and jostling each other about, causing bumps and bruises, broken bones and broken hearts. Unfortunately, there are innumerable instances of people hurting others in the process of working together. I’m sure every artist has their stories. Every person has their story. How we interact as human beings is incredibly complex and the impacts of those interactions can be macro or micro in all the ways- physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. But in life, and in that darkness, there are no real “bad guys.” People are generally trying their best. I had a teacher, Jonny Epstein, who advised me to look at “villainous” characters that way and ask, “why, in this moment, is this their best?” If you go back far enough, there is always a reason. And that is true in life too, in spite of people’s best efforts we hurt one another. I’m not sure who said it, but “hurt people hurt people.” And who is there among us that has not been hurt? Becoming an observer, is like turning on the lights and stepping into awareness; it is illuminating. We move from a crude, brute force way of getting to know one another and into a much more precise, nuanced, and intentional interaction. From that place of awareness we have infinite options of how we choose to participate. From this awareness, we can do a better job of tending to our wounds and taking responsibility for our interactions.
In order to act on stage or in the frame, be believable, and illuminate moments that resonate as truthful with an audience, we need each other. Beginning with observation and willingness to participate, we need to see and be seen, we need to hear and be heard, we need to trust and be trustworthy, being honest with ourselves and others. We have the opportunity to lend our bodies, minds, and spirits to tell someone else’s story while simultaneously revealing something true about our own. All of this is in hopes that we might capture the heart of an audience and reflect truth upon each other. All of this comes down to generosity in relationship and having the courage to be vulnerable and fully present. Observation and participation are the path for me to do that. Through observation, I discover a world of information flying at me; I see what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel, taste and smell, and through participation I discover how I play a part, intersect and interact in the greater whole.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I usually describe myself as an actor, creator, maker. Those words tend to be more accessible to people. But creativity knows no bounds. It makes its way into every facet of life. I am an observer, participant. I am ferociously curious about the nature of things, the roots of things, the fundamental nature of truth.
As stated before, I have laid the stones of training
and training
and training,
I have studied
and studied
and studied,
I have taught
and taught
and taught,
I have acted,
choreographed
directed,
again, again, again.
My areas of specialization have been in classical acting and movement centered work including Mary Overlie’s Viewpoints, SITI Company Viewpoints and Suzuki, Shakespeare, Demidov, Stanislavski, Meisner, Rasa Boxes, Developmental Movement work, Stage Combat, and so many others. I love to learn, I love to be in a growth mindset, I love accruing knowledge and exploring a line of inquiry. I am primarily working in film right now, and have been extraordinarily blessed, through the crisis of Covid to pivot into film world and feel like a little kid with a dream again. I am doing more writing than I’ve ever done right now and I’m enjoying the profound struggle and satisfaction of producing my own work. But my first love and the canvas that keeps calling to me is and always will be the theatre, where anything can happen. Who knows where it will all lead! It is a grand experiment.
A dear friend and mentor, Diane Venora, recently told me that when she looks at me, she sees enormous sensitivity, that I have a giant heart. If she had to draw a picture of me it would be a GIANT Heart, walking around in high heels. I thought, that seems about right.
My bestie and writing partner, Bonita Jackson Turner, recently sent me a text saying, “I was thinking about you when talking to my students today. About your courage and heart. About how not all who want to be creatives are. How your courage and heart transcend the traditional ideas about what it means to be a creative, creator. How every time you come to that mountain, you stand armed with vulnerability and power, even when uncertain about how to climb.”
It’s hard to know what makes you unique, but taking my cue from these amazing women, I guess I would say that there is something about my heart that sets me apart.
This is the same Bonita, who loves to tell the story from our first days in grad school together, when she quotes me as saying, “I didn’t come here to make friends.” But sure enough, as we wandered that path together, she ended up being my bestie and the rest is history. Despite my stubbornness, the greatest gifts I have received are the relationships garnered along the way.
Have you learned any interesting or important lessons due to the Covid-19 Crisis?
One of the most important lessons I had to face during the beginning stages of the Covid-19 Crisis was adjusting my expectations of success. I had to start re-evaluating my ideas about success in order to cope. When you are a theatre actor and all the stages shut down, there is no more gathering of people, and communal sharing of space, there is no work for you or place for your art, what then?
I started meeting with a group of artists online, to discuss what success looked like for each of us right now, and my friend and collaborator Cameron Milton, gave me a key that unlocked my way of looking at things. He said, I just have to focus on today, what success looks like today.
That really got me thinking about what my “successful day” might include. I wrote a list of things, that if I could complete all of them, it would be a pretty great accomplishment. It initially resembled a typical To Do List. I don’t remember everything that I had on that list, but it went something like:
Read
Write
Work Out
Do Yoga
Meditate
Cook
Make something creative
Walk
Clean
Performance Research
Spend quality time with Family
Invest in my relationships
But the To Do list didn’t feel very enjoyable. So, then I took a whole sheet of paper, and I began to draw out something resembling a puzzle. Each item on my list had a specific shape, it became a piece, that fit into the larger puzzle, representing my “Successful Day.” And I started to approach each day with a little more creativity. Sometimes I would choose the order that I completed these tasks and lay each piece down on the table as I completed it. And sometimes I would allow myself to be surprised to see which piece I might draw out of an envelope. And I would lay the piece down into the puzzle upon completion.
But I realized two things. The first was, I could never get it all done. The puzzle representing the success of my day would lie there unfinished. Each day the unfinished, finished puzzle would be made of different pieces making it unique. Each day, instead of the satisfaction of a completed puzzle in front of me, it began to resemble a strange and abstract work of art. There was a beauty in the negative space of incompleteness, that somehow made the unique shape and quality of the tasks completed more beautiful. The imperfection of each day, was in fact what made it a work of art.
The second thing I realized was that I wasn’t enjoying any of it. I had a sort of anxiety or agitation about getting the task done and moving on to whatever came next. That didn’t feel like “success.” As a result, I started to look at my puzzle, which had become a strange, abstract piece of daily art, a little differently. I realized my strange puzzle of tasks were more like a map. A map leading me toward success. But I was running into a big problem. I was ill-equipped to make the journey. Whenever one embarks on a journey, they have to pack for the trip. The only thing I was packing on my journey to daily success was anxiety and agitation.
So, I went back to the drawing board, to figure out what I needed to pack. I found out I needed:
A Sense of Enjoyment
A Spirit of Adventure
A Lens Toward Beauty
A Sense of Humor
A Good Attitude
Passion
Joy
My Capacity for Pleasure
Presence
Laughter
Excitement
Most Importantly, Love
This was my big lesson from the Covid-19 Crisis. To look at life with a map toward daily success, to notice the beauty in the imperfection, and to be mindful of what I am packing on that journey. There is no use in success, if I’m not able to walk that journey in a spirit of love.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.annanewbury.com
- Instagram: @annanewburyacts
- Youtube: @annanewburyacts
Image Credits
Cameron Milton
Jeffrey Mosier
Benlun Ma
Byron Li
Kaleb Mitchell
Jake Guinn
Colbie Inez
