Today we’d like to introduce you to Pearl Lilly.
Pearl, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I started out thinking about how I could make a difference in my life. What I mean is, being an incest sexual abuse survivor, I felt that the life that was handed to me was as is. Enduring sexual abuse for years from the early age of 6 to that of age 17. I felt that God had forgotten about me.
Growing up back home in Lansing, Michigan, where one learns that what goes on in the house stays in the house mentality. But somewhere deep down inside, as a little girl, I knew that wasn’t right! Being sexually abused by stepfather, three uncles, and other male family members, the ones who were supposed to protect the wives and the children, right? That wasn’t the case for me and others in my family and throughout my community of that in Glen Allen, Mississippi age the age of 12. Becoming the Ward of the State of Mississippi, the abuse and threats continued to plague my life, eventually resulting in a rape that produced a child by my stepfather at the age of 14. Then becoming Ward of The State of Michigan where the threats and stalking and torture continued without help. Just being able to cope with all of the trauma I endured has become a norm, in a sense I had grown mad in my mind that developed mental illness. The darkness had started to hunt me, the sound or whispers were out to get me. In my mind, it was like running as fast as I could until I reached the end of the cliff, with an unknown force holding me. Keeping me from falling. I asked God, WHY!!!! Why Me!!! As an adult and a mother of 6 amazing children, I told myself that the demons and my stepfather would no longer win. My stepfather, down in Glen Allen, Mississippi had repeatedly told me that If I told anyone that my life would be NOTHING!!!
I believe that because I had written a letter to my 5th Grade teacher back home in Lansing, Michigan because I knew that what I was going through wasn’t right and my body was tired. I was removed from my mother’s care place in a group home for abused and neglected children in Greenville, Mississippi until my grandfather who retired from Michigan State University came to get me out of the group home with my grandmother. I eventually received therapy and counseling over the years, which help me become strong in spirit and improved my mental thinking process when at the age of 16, I graduated high school and attended college. I then became a single mother with 6 wonderful children raising them to be amazing adults today.
I became a teacher and soon after started writing books about child abuse and becoming an advocate for R.A.I.N.N. and others. Take Back the Night to help fight against rape and sexual assault of female college students and more. But I knew I wanted to do more. Speak at various conferences and symposiums as well as being a supporter to others. Help break the cycle within so many families and communities. With dedication and passion for helping others, I wanted to do more, I obtain my bachelor’s degree, then my master’s degree. Thoughts of my stepfather’s voice were trying to slow me down by coming into my mind, “You Are Never Going to Be Anything”!!!!!! I had to fight against it, and I went on to complete my Doctorate Degree in Human Services with Organizational Leadership Management. I fought against so many odds. I wanted to give back to my community by helping other women, children, and others who had suffered the same fate as I did. Those who are going through it today, we can beat these predators. Becoming an entrepreneur with the hope of collaborating with other non-profit organizations or local human services entities to help bring awareness and find strategies to help fix this epidemic.
The number of child sexual abuse has tripled over the years with over 70 million cases filed in 2019 from 450,000 since 2004 according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Think about those numbers, there is a big problem throughout this country. We must stand up for those who do not have the support or the voice to do so. I have the pleasure of working with and friends with multiple individuals who are dedicated to helping victims and survivors on their platforms and abroad. My dear friend Ms. Fire-Brown Gadsden (ASCA-Atlanta Self-Help Support Group/Meetup) and Mr. Mark Cannon-Arkansas/Facebook/WhatsApp/ VoiceOTV@yahoo.com).
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey have been a fairly smooth road?
I would say that it has been a rough journey. Enduring so many situations raising children as a single mother and getting them through college as well as myself. Some of my struggles were mental illness, living in a community that doesn’t support victims of child abuse, and more so sexual abuse because they have a mindset that the victim must have been Manish or wanted it is. Lack of communication and support for talk. I because homeless after a year of saving money for a down deposit on my mortgage in order for my children to have their own home and food without worries to only become homeless after losing my home as a result of a family member taking out a home mortgage and loans using my name and personal information. I was homeless with 6 children for 8 months, living here and there or in my car. My mother and stepfather had a grocery store in Glen Allen, Mississippi and my stepfather wouldn’t allow my brothers and me to eat.
So, I was afraid that we were going to die, we had attempted to run away many times but were afraid that the KKK in Mississippi would kill us. We attempted to run away again but got caught by my stepfather. This resulted in me having to steal and take food from our grocery store to feed my brothers. I ate half a slice of bread to help keep me from getting sick or dying. My brother had snuck some cold cuts but ended up cutting his right fingertip off. No medical care, so I knew I had to save them from the monster. As an adult living back home in Lansing, Michigan is viewed as a home wrecker or judged for having a child by my mother’s husband. Everyone prevented their children from playing or even speaking to me. As an adult the lack of family support and criticisms I endure.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I am a teacher and a Doctor of Human Services/ Organizational Leadership Management / Public Administration and Criminal Justice, Published Author.
What do you specialize in?
I each Code and Drones, I worked with students from K through 12th /9th through 12 with Autism or Special needs. I also assist with teaching single mothers about technology through the “Closing the Digital Gap” Program under Former Congressman Mike Rogers back home in Lansing, Michigan.
What are you known for, etc?
Being a hard worker, passionate about humankind, assisting in anything pretraining to children and victims, known for fighting against child abuse and neglect. Just being able to give back to my community.
What are you most proud of?
I am most proud of my children. They said I did a great job and seeing all of the endeavors, I think so. My children and grandchildren give me hope and keep me going, and my partner for her strength and courage to ride on this journey with me. My friends for not treating me like a freak or as if I have a plague or disease. But standing side by side with me to continue to make a difference within our communities in stopping the epidemic of child sexual abuse and sex trafficking. I am proud of who I am today and for not giving out and listening to the voice of my predators. Many others…
How do you think about luck?
I would have to say that luck rather it is good or bad, plays play a factor in one’s ability to overcome obstacles. I would honestly say that it really isn’t about luck but my ability to fight against adversity and stand in faith that the storm wouldn’t last for long. My friends would tell me that a lot. This too is just a trail of your faith and don’t allow the devil to win. I think and believe that my belief within myself to do the work that was and still is needed to continue to heal, fight, and win!!! I the business, just being able to be transparent and allow my faith to allow others to collaborate with me, support my cause and what I stand for. Helping those that cannot fight for themselves or speak for themselves.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.wix/pearllilly.com
- Facebook: Author Pearl Lilly
Image Credits
Dr. Pearl Lilly
