Today we’d like to introduce you to Sam Qavah John
Hi Sam Qavah, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Wow, my story. That’s quite a heavy and beautiful question.
My story has been one of grief, tragedy, and overwhelming triumph. One where I realized all those things could be true at the very same time.
I’ve been blessed to talk to you all and if I’m being honest with you and your readers, I had a nervous break this past weekend. All the doors that opened were slammed in my face and my heart was broken. I lost the love of my life and the world lost it’s color for a bit. I also graduated a day before that nervous break.
If I didn’t include that part of the story, I’d be selling you a false bill of goods.
My story… addicted, dead in more ways than one, lost, broken, a high-school dropout. That’s how it started. And those parts of me are what made me who I am today. Loving those parts of me were the first step to shedding that identity.
My story is that of a creative professional who simply does not know when to quit.
One who immigrated to this country on his own without a wealthy family to fall back on.
One who fought and clawed and scratched to maintain his sobriety and sexual abstinence in an environment that was the least conducive to those lifestyle choices.
My story is one of triumph.
One of an actor who never gave up.
One of a writer who never stopped writing.
Of an educator that will never fall out of love with learning from and with kids.
Of a business leader who will stop at nothing to change the way we do business and elevate employee welfare and community relations.
My story is one that chose to break fate, ask for help, and move towards the man I always wished I had had by my side as a young boy growing up in Bengaluru, India. All for the glory of my God and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The road simply did not exist.
I had to craft it.
My path wasn’t a reality. It wasn’t what was expected of me.
I was to be a doctor. Educated in India. Married the “perfect” arranged match. Live “happily” ever after.
I wanted something else. Something different.
Along the way, four generations of trauma, addiction, and grief came to a breaking point with me.
Right from a very young age, I felt deeply. It was ridiculed. People tried to beat it out of me. Torn away. Relegated to the realm of “drama”.
I found myself on the brink of death itself on five self-inflicted occasions, two dangerous encounters, and on three separate occasions, due to my addictions.
I found the Twelve Steps Program, Therapy, and a relationship with Jesus.
These resources that I was blessed and privileged to make the most of.
With each step, I grew in my ability to craft masterful stories. In my ability to relate to people and love them deeply.
Every single time. More times than I count. I loved deeply and I grieved fully.
I moved to this country.
My family breaks the stereotypical Indian student norm. I wasn’t here to have a “good time”. I couldn’t do “whatever I wanted”. I couldn’t afford to and in a lot of ways, that was a blessing, too. I came here with something to prove. I had dropped out of high school and SCAD gave me a shot. To do what I dreamt of doing. In a country I dreamt of being a part of. My family aren’t rich. We are far from it. And my parents took a shot on me. Something I will always be grateful for and eternally honor them for.
Alone and afraid, I continued to develop and grow and evolve.
I gave SCAD my all. I gave Los Angeles and The Oscars my all. I gave my books my all. I gave my play my all. I gave my desire to be an actor my all. I gave my desire to be a writer my all . I gave my marathons my all. I gave my body, mind, and soul transformations my all. I gave every person I ever loved all of me.
I loved them all so deeply.
And sometimes, in this life, the people and the things you love simply will not love you back.
That reality made up the darkest turns and twists on this road.
I spun out. I hydroplaned. I twisted. I contorted. I bled. I sweat. I cried. I fought. I screamed out. I got back up. I got beat down again. I got up again. And started.
The road wasn’t smooth and I doubt it ever will be. I find myself enamored with success but in love with failure.
Failure is what brought me to my knees in surrender. To a God who will take everything and turn it for good. Every. Single. Time.
The road was not ideal but it is perfect. In His eyes. And according to His plan for me. And I’m coming to terms with accepting that and embracing it.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I believe with utmost certainty that the thing I’m known for is my ability to try everything and be unafraid to fail.
To fail so spectacularly. And use that failure as the fuel to drive me further.
By trade, I am an actor, author, playwright, educator, museum specialist, business strategist, and community leader.
I have been blessed beyond compare to live out my dreams as a first-generation immigrant.
I am most proud of my one-man show that I put on at the SCAD Museum of Art Theater that I wrote, directed, produced, marketed, designed, and performed in. This show came at a time when I was getting my Masters at SCAD in a record-setting 9 months. This was not my thesis. This was a passion project that I did alongside my thesis which was to build an environment, strategies, and executable objectives in large-scale businesses that benefits productivity and employee welfare at the same time.
It proved to me that I can do anything I set my mind to that glorifies my God.
Having over 210 people show up to this production made me so incredibly proud and happy!
To see the lights and souls that guided me so many times on this journey in those theater seats made my heart soar and the performance itself lives in my heart as a testament to Konstantin Stanislavski’s quote that has became a North Star for me: Love the art in yourself and not yourself in the art. Those 75 minutes. I felt lost in the free fall of creative freedom. The freedom that comes with relentless rehearsals and consistent devotion. Even in moments where you feel drained. Like you have nothing left to give. Like if you hit that loud beat one more time, you could lose your voice. Those are the moments where I felt a freedom to risk it all like never before and a freedom to trust that my God will be with me even if I did.
When the performance concluded, there was no grief. There was simply peace, joy, love, and hope.
The one thing that sets me apart from others: I will not do whatever it takes to win. I will not step over someone. I will not rejoice in someone’s shortcomings. I will not boast in lieu of someone’s folly. I will not be shaken on the values of respect, honor, loyalty, and love upon which my life is built. I will outwork everyone in every room every single time. But, I will not envy what is not mine. I will simply work, be present and be patient.
What makes you happy?
Oh, man!
Clouds, trees, the moon, the grass, and the sun make me happy!
Spending time with my friends makes me happy! Playing a ridiculously difficult Hot Wheels video game with my brother or watching Wonka for the 19th time with my other brother or watching Jeremy Allen-White destroy everyone in sight while screaming Yes, Chef! with yet another brother.
Supporting young people going through similar challenges I went through. That makes me so happy!
Professional Wrestling makes me happy! Cheering and booing for the good guys and the bad guys while loving the concept of this thing that made me feel empowered and safe makes me so happy!
My favorite TV Shows (This Is Us and Brooklyn Nine-Nine) and my favorite films (Across The Spider-Verse and La La Land) make me happy!
Music, singing and dancing makes me so happy!
Having loved my favorite person for as long as I was blessed to made me happier than ever. Writing her poems and making her presents, and picking her flowers made me happy. Sitting in silence with this person that made me feel safe and like I had found my home. That made me happy.
Joy, however? That’s a whole other story! The joy that I’ve experienced in this world when all these other things became fleeting. That joy was found in Jesus. Found in the God who would hold me and remind me that everything would be okay through the presence of The Holy Spirit and his word (The Bible). The God who promised that he would never leave me. One who saw me broken, lost, and irredeemable and said, “that’s my kid”. That is the one source of joy that has never failed me. And never will. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Pricing:
- Based off of Commission Conversation
Contact Info:
- Website: https://samjohnact.wixsite.com/perform
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samjohncreates.qavah/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyUk6CX0ORd9mpYBzYaeeOA
- Other: https://linktr.ee/thecreativearray
Image Credits
The Savannah College of Art and Design
The Atlanta Department of Parks and Recreation
Run Skidaway Island
