Today we’d like to introduce you to Chaquevia Dumas.
So, before we jump into specific questions, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
Well, I was born and raised in Orlando, Florida. I moved to Atlanta on March 4, 2016 and I’m honestly still processing some parts of my story but this I know for sure: Orlando raised me, Jesus saved me and Atlanta made me…in that order. LOL.
Growing up I was, and still am, the eldest of three sisters to a single mom and the more I live, the more deeply I appreciate her and her sacrifice, and the more proud I become of that part of my story. Someone recently said that there is something special and sacred about mothers, and I absolutely agree. It’s really incredible what she’s done, but moreover I look back and I can’t help but see God’s ultimate hand of provision, protection and purpose.
I grew up in church, but in a lukewarm home and Sunday has always been my favorite day of the week, followed by Thursday. In April of 2014, after some years as a quintessential party girl, Jesus confronted me…maybe I confronted Him…I’m not sure, I just know that it’s been a wrap ever since! Lol! It’s kind of a blur to be completely honest. I just remember reading The Purpose Driven Life with my friend Liz, lots of questions, a frat party, crying on the kitchen floor of my apartment, a phone call to my uncle, a visit to his church where I ended up crying during the ENTIRE service, and then feeling actual, physical, relief when the Pastor spoke the name Jesus and then believing the Pastor when he offered Jesus as The Answer.
I moved to Atlanta about two years later, at what I believe was the leading of the Holy Spirit, after an encounter during worship in December of 2014. Atlanta has definitely made a woman out of me. I’m even more aware of my values and the things I’m passionate about and the way I want to show up in the world. Growing up, my mom would always tell me that I had sisters who were looking up to me as an example, and I had so many mixed feelings about it: deep down, I loved it and the sense of responsibility I felt, but I was also kind of terrified and resentful because I didn’t know what I was doing with me, so how was I supposed to help someone else?! LOL…and that still seems true some days, honestly. Then there was the fact that I honestly didn’t really believe her. I don’t know if that was because I didn’t really see myself as someone worthy to be looked up to or what, but it was just sort of like “yeah, right”…probably because when I would babysit, it felt like they weren’t listening! Lolol. Life is funny. Nowadays, I have a little more than two sets of eyes looking to me and as overwhelming as that can be, I’ve learned that His grace is sufficient.
I’m currently enrolled at Georgia State University, where I’m majoring in Education. I serve in my local church, work at a Senior Living Facility and do my best to love those whom God has blessed me to do life with–which, in some way, is everyone I meet. I share more of my journey on my YouTube channel (Church Girl Next Door) and my Instagram page (@churchgirlnextdoor).
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Absolutely not. Lol life is full of challenges and I’ve had my fair share. Including, but not limited to:
SELF-ACCEPTANCE: really standing in my own uniqueness and just accepting who I am and all of the experiences that have come and will come with her. I’m an atypical black woman of faith and it’s been a struggle because most people in the black faith community don’t understand neurodiversity, but I plan to do something about that. Being misunderstood and having people form negative opinions about you before they really know you–presenting their opinion as fact–or, having people know you and then discard you as “too much”, is hard to deal with–especially when you’re young. Rejection of people and things that are different from us is human nature, sadly. And I can’t say that I’ve never rejected anyone, because human, but I most certainly always endeavor to be understanding and kind–because I know that it’s hard to deal with rejection on the receiving end.
I’ve had people I know and love insult, make fun of, or downplay me and the way my brain naturally works, to my face and [come to find out] behind my back, and it’s hurtful, but learning to be at peace with me and within me has become such a place of strength and liberation for me–mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
When I was in my teens and I really struggled with self-acceptance and when being misunderstood and talked about would make me cry and cry and cry, my mom was my greatest champion [she still is] and she’d always remind me that if I liked me then it shouldn’t and wouldn’t matter what anyone else thought–I didn’t understand or believe that then, but I do now. Then when I’d find out that my “friends” were talking about me behind my back and I’d cry in disappointment, she’d always tell me, “people talk about Jesus and He was the greatest man to ever live” and I literally could not stand that response then, but now it’s gold, because it’s so true–no matter how much good you do, people who are committed to being hateful will still have something negative to say and people who are committed to misunderstanding you will do just that.
I’d encourage all reading, especially young black women, to fight with everything in you to operate from a place of self-acceptance–no matter what your differences are–because once you get there, you’ll never operate with a deficit. Sure, you’ll still be misunderstood and probably still talked about, sometimes by people you know and love, because unfortunately your confidence will offend them–especially if they’re insecure and they knew you “before.” But you’ll also find that there are people who will get you and love you and be patient with you while challenging you and come to fight alongside you–and those relationships, no matter how few, are worth the pain of all of the others.
BODY IMAGE: Listen, I grew up around women who are curvy and for the longest time, I felt so insecure about my slim athletic frame, even though I was affirmed in it and often told how much other women would love to have my body, I just didn’t believe it and I didn’t want to hear it because I felt like I was being patronized. My body is/was proportional but not stacked. Basically, puberty didn’t hit like I expected and it took a minute for me to mentally adjust. Lol! I was perfect for the flyer position in cheer and to run the curve in the 200 meter dash in track but I didn’t feel like a “real woman” or any man’s “dream woman” because men like “real women” and “real women have curves.” It was an almost constantly overwhelming thought and such a nagging disconnect in my mind. Then Kim Kardashian became popular and it was like: “it’s a wrap…I have NO hope!” Bahahaha! But with salvation came wholeness and healing and with age came perspective. And now, any man who thinks like that isn’t even a man I want to befriend, let alone marry.
FINDING MY PURPOSE/ACCEPTING MY CALL: we live in a purpose driven generation and I’ve had so many experiences even at 26 and, with practice, I can become pretty skilled at anything I decide to put my hands too, so it took me a minute to really figure out what I was to do with my life…25 years to be exact. Lol. I’ve always been naturally good at writing, and I love writing, but I didn’t necessarily want to solely be a writer. Something about that image in my head, as it pertains to me personally, just sounded kind of lonely and unfulfilled.
So my real struggle in this struggle came with finding an “anchor” in my purpose, or as my mentor calls it a “Master Status”…something that I felt “rounded me out.” In 2014, I took a break from school after a really traumatic experience and a hard time adjusting because there was also the fact that I was very certain that I didn’t want to continue on as a Journalism major, but I wasn’t certain about what I actually wanted to do. So I decided to take some time, and, in that time I got saved, rediscovered my childhood passion for teaching while teaching Sunday school at my previous church and then moved to Atlanta–where it all clicked. It’s funny because my mom would always suggest that I become a teacher and I would always ignore her because like most teenage girls, I thought my mom knew nothing. Also, for a long time, teaching felt like the easy way out because in my mind I was kind of being haunted and taunted by the saying: “those who can’t, teach” and unfortunately, I had internalized that belief and it caused me to run away from what I now absolutely believe to be my calling. Plus, people would constantly talk about how teachers aren’t paid very well and that incubated a lot of fear and insecurity in my heart too. But now, I feel so much peace and legit joy toward teaching…it may not be super glamorous but I truly believe that there’s no greater privilege. I also happen to believe that I can make it as glamorous as I want. Lol. Also, I’ve learned that “Master Status” doesn’t mean “only status” which is why I’m excited to see what God does with me and my love of writing, and few of my other passionate interests.
I sure did spend a few years working through layers and layers of questions and doubt, and I wouldn’t trade that journey for anything. So often, we want things to fall in our lap and come wrapped in a pretty bow–to fall within the scope of our limited human understanding, but if I’ve learned anything about God-given purpose it’s that it’s a different kind of beast. It’s ever evolving. It’s multifaceted, multidimensional and, oftentimes, incredibly messy–and that’s okay because it’s also often full of miracles. Don’t rush, don’t give up and find people [in prayer] who can speak into your life and push you toward better, while still fully loving you where you are.
PEOPLE: People [including me and you] are problematic. That’s the beginning, the middle and the end. Lol. I’ve learned that you can’t let people get the better of you and that in order to stay sane, you HAVE to believe the best, most of all about God’s intention–if you can’t believe it about anyone else’s. You also have to learn how to love people but at the same time live without them [in a needy, desperate, way].
Please tell us about Church Girl Next Door.
Church Girl Next Door is a brand I created for myself and other women like myself–women who love church but aren’t the stereotypical church girls. I needed an outlet that allowed me to be all that I am–powerful, pretty, and purposed, even in the thick of being processed–while inspiring others like me to do and be the same. So I started a YouTube channel to showcase the real life of a “church girl.” I love Jesus and I believe that holiness is the way, but my life isn’t lacking because of that–it’s actually incredibly full and I just wanted to share that with people.
More personally, I’m a daughter, sister, rising advocate, speaker, aspiring designer, author, YouTuber, up and coming influencer, student, future educator and servant leader. Someday soon, I hope to be a kind man’s wife and a mother to our adorable child(ren). But, most of all, by the grace of God, I’ll always be a friend of Jesus and daughter of the Most High King, and because of that it’s my absolute greatest desire to inspire people to live a life of authenticity to the glory of God. I don’t try to be anyone or anything that I’m not and I try to not make a habit of forcing things. Some people call me unique, some call me quirky, some call me straight up weird, and I’d actually agree with all of those to some extent lol but, in my own words, I’d say that I’m a natural ball of enlightening eccentricity leading with compassion, creativity and courage.
Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
I believe that success is relative. To be content and happy with who and where you are, while still striving, is success to me. I’d say the fact that I always attempt to remain fair and peaceable, honest and authentic, while never giving up is what’s gotten me this far. But I’m also learning that I am quite resourceful and more resilient that I ever thought possible. I try not to let what I “don’t have” get in my way, because I absolutely believe we have everything we need–especially Spirit-filled Believers–we just need to look, or, as I often do, ask God to help us look.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_6YrWUdxH1J_pjpCQk_imw?view_as=subscriber
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/churchgirlnextdoor/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chaqueviaaa
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/churchgrlnxtdr
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