Today we’d like to introduce you to Eric Payne.
Eric, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
A friend recently called me an underdog and upon thinking about it for a little bit, I have to agree. Ever since I was young, I had a passion to create great-grand and entertaining stories, however, there isn’t much story to tell without an incredible imagination or an incredible depth of source material to pull from. When I was in the second grade in Chicago, Illinois, I adapted a Charlie Brown Christmas into a play for my class, which we performed for the whole school. It was an amazing experience to able to create something for the enjoyment of others. This is how it all began for me. I journaled through high school and college, mostly stories of a guy who never had anyone to ask to the dance but had greatness lying in wait inside him. I got into poetry for a little while after college during the whole Love Jones craze. I went on to self publish a book of poems and short stories called I See Through Eyes around the age of 27.
After this, I spent many years trying to write the “Great American Novel” with no success. It was frustrating and consuming, killing off most of my relationships. It wasn’t until 2008 when weblogs (blogs) started to hit the mainstream that things began to shift. I launched MakesMeWannaHoller.com, a marriage and parenting blog because I was a new husband and a dad to a baby girl and a ten-year-old boy. I thought it would be cool to document my struggles trying to make sense of it all and share the final product as a gift to my kids. What I didn’t anticipate was how well received it would be by complete strangers surfing the web. My time as a blogger allowed me to evolve into what I would probably describe as a first-generation influencer. I was granted with the opportunity to be a guest expert on radio and television, I traveled across the country speaking on fatherhood and blogging and I even was blessed with the opportunity to travel outside the U.S. to share my experiences visiting countries like the Bahamas. The money wasn’t what it is today, but the experiences were so new and fresh and rich for what was once a sheltered, only child from the South Side of Chicago. But rather than leverage my blog as a pure money maker, I decided to do that with myself and sell my services as a blogger and social media “expert” to Corporate America.
At the time, I had relocated to Atlanta from New York City with my wife and kids and needed cash. It worked and eventually, I got the big paycheck and comfortable living I was seeking but I lost myself in the process and ultimately lost everything I had been working for, or at least that’s what I had been telling myself. It took a while for me to accept my new normal and see my failures for the lessons that they were intended to be for me, but once I did it’s been a march forward ever since.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
By no means has my journey been smooth. The challenges of my journey are what taught me to embrace it. Over the course of ten months from 2014 to 2015, my father began to present for signs of dementia, a disease, as it turns out he had had for a very long time unbeknownst to any of us, including him; my wife filed for divorce; my son was dismissed from the college he was attending; the divorce went through; I went from living in a four-bedroom townhome to a one-bedroom apartment and after receiving a promotion to the position of director at work I was laid off from the marketing agency where I worked. I remember how helpless I felt the day I was laid off – I was 44 years old with a 9-year-old daughter, with no backup plan, a small severance and no clue how anything would ever get better. I’m an only child so I didn’t have any siblings to seek out for advice or comfort. These aren’t your typical challenges to launching a business, they were greater, in my opinion. These are the kinds of challenges that have the potential to drive people to end it all. My challenges caused me to dig deep. I determined I had to show up for my kids. So, I began to do a lot of work on why my life had fallen apart and what had I done to contribute to the whole thing. I didn’t want to be the stereotypical divorced dad, who was broken down an angry. At first, I was exactly that, but after enough time and perseverance, I came out of the whole thing better and stronger for the experience and get this, with a story to tell others that would not only entertain them but also help them worth through the challenges they face in work, life and love.
We’d love to hear more about your business.
I’m in a positive living game. People are out here suffering in silence. Men in their late thirties and forties are dealing with broken marriages, broken families, sudden health issues, changing bodies and not having anyone to turn to because as men we’re taught and expected to simply “suck it up” or risk being seen as sensitive or “soft”. Regardless of profession or income, the overwhelming sentiment I hear is “I didn’t sign up for this.” I hear similar complaints and concerns from women. Through hard work and God’s grace, I’ve been able to navigate my setbacks and leave stronger for the experience rather than weaker. I’ve been thinking for a very long time as to what I can do to let folks know they aren’t alone. In 2017, I launched the Pain to Power Podcast, and earlier this year, I gave my first motivational talk on how to rise above your setbacks to do more and be better and I began penning a digital novel located at www.JustBtween.us. But in my heart, I felt like I needed to do more to provide quick, consumable information for people going through it. 40 But Not Dead was born of this desire. 40butnotdead.com is an online destination that provides articles, videos and podcast episodes to encourage and inspire folks to get up and keep going after being knocked down by life.
So with that said, I guess I would best describe myself as being in the self-improvement/mindfulness game. That’s what I’ve been known for a very long time across social media and all my blogging projects. I am more thankful than proud that I get to serve others, and potentially play a role in improving their lives via my experiences.
I’m not looking to compare myself with anyone else but there aren’t too many people out here giving hope to the divorced and/or those who feel they have made so many mistakes, lost so many times at love that there is no coming back. We live in a “hustle hard” society which definitely has its place, but what if you don’t know where to start or have lost sense of your why? Of course, Facebook and IG are littered with positive quotes but when you’re going through it, you need more than that. You need to know you’re not alone and that others are or have gone through similar. That’s what I’m giving, unfiltered, raw testimonies that you can truly go through hell and end up in a better place if you open your heart to the possibilities.
What were you like growing up?
I was very introverted and in my head growing up. I spent a lot of time daydreaming about superheroes and exotic cars. I was big into science and engineering and grew up wanting to build exotic cars. I was a dreamer, my head was either in the clouds or in my books. I won’t say I was athletic, but I was definitely active. I played baseball and soccer in elementary school and ran track in high school. I had a pretty thriving lawn mowing and snow shoveling enterprise that my father helped me launch. I was quiet, though, being an only child and a someone sheltered one I was taught not to color outside the lines or makeup too much noise. This caused me to go inward. I believed that if you tried hard enough you could become super, just like Peter Parker and Clark Kent, and my larger than life movie heroes, Bruce Lee and James Bond. Growing up in the seventies and eighties in Chicago, Illinois, disco and house music were a part of my everyday existence and music remains a part of my lifeblood to this day. What I know now is that you don’t have to wait until you’ve grown to be great. This is something I instill in my children on an almost daily basis.
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.40butnotdead.com
- Instagram: http://instagram.com/ericlpayne
- Twitter: http://Twitter.com/iamericlpayne
- Other: http://www.JustBTween.us
Image Credit:
Richie Arpino Photography – Image of Eric Payne in front of wooden fence (tan sweater)
Daniel Edwards – Image of Eric Payne on stationary spin cycle
Ross Oscar Knight Photography – Image of Eric Payne in olive shirt sitting on white concrete stairs
Charles Jones – Image of Eric Payne speaking (black sweater)
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