Today we’d like to introduce you to Matthew Bivens.
Matthew, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
In 2004, I attended the University of Florida starting off as an Engineering major. A few math classes later and I realized that Engineering wasn’t for me. I took the next two years to explore any and everything that looked interesting to me, from Roman History to Paleontology to Economics to Photography to Music. I ended up majoring in Psychology, which at the time, I really didn’t know how that degree would serve me (other than allowing me to stay enrolled in school). After completing my undergraduate degree, I went back for my Master’s degree, this time in Business. After my master’s degree, many issues that I had been “dealing with” through childhood and early adulthood started to surface. I had low self-esteem and self-worth, I doubted myself and was incredibly judgmental towards myself and others. I felt that life was unfair, that my parents didn’t push me hard enough, and that I just didn’t have what I thought was required to succeed and be happy. This led to binge drinking and a heavy attachment to weed and porn. In my relationships, I was secretive, incredibly jealous and massively insecure.
After the ending of a serious relationship, I hit my emotional rock bottom and started seeing how I was showing up in life. I slowly began to examine my relationship towards myself (something I had never done up to this point) and started learning what self-care and self-love were. I got comfortable with being alone and started feeling less and less lonely. I began taking care of myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I stopped drinking and smoking altogether, started exercising with more intention and purpose, began learning about meditation and developing a spiritual practice. It was around this time that I took a job in a startup company and started gaining experience in business and marketing.
It was also during this time that I met my future wife. : )
Fast forward a few years, and now I’m working for a new company in Atlanta. I wasn’t happy in my position and frequently complained about my role. One day, after complaining to my future wife, I asked myself a question: “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?”. Answering that question changed my life completely. The next day, I handed in my resignation letter, bought a domain name, started the process to register an LLC, and began my first business.
It was also during this time that I was introduced to a spiritual and life coach who helped me further my practice of learning how to form a healthy relationship to myself, others and life. I started surrounding myself with conscious and healthy individuals who were also interested in their self-growth and healing. I joined accountability groups, took my health to new levels, and learned some powerful tools for improving my life.
After three years of deep and intense work on myself, I started to share my insights, breakdowns, breakthroughs, and tools with others. I started the Having It A.L.L. podcast and began to connect with other people who were in the position I was in. People started asking me for help, and I shared.
My wife and I had our daughter, Maya, around this time as well.
I got my certification as Balance Lifestyle Coach and started working with people 1-on-1. I started leading weekly classes helping people to relate to stress more powerfully and learn how to master themselves so they could create the lives they truly wanted. I grew my Balance Lifestyle Coaching business and dedicated myself to helping people transform fear to LOVE and scarcity to ABUNDANCE. Today, I work with Entrepreneur Parents who are feeling imbalanced, overstressed and uninspired and work with them to improve their health, relationships, and business.
Has it been a smooth road?
It has been anything but smooth!
One of my biggest struggles came as I added new responsibilities into my life. Going from employee to entrepreneur was a struggle because I had never been at the helm of a company before. I had to learn what it was to manage and lead, and those were not very natural roles for me at the time (they have come to be very natural for me today).
Then when my wife and I had our daughter, a new struggle of being a work-from-home dad appeared. I always knew I wanted to be extremely involved with raising my daughter, so when we learned we were pregnant I fully stepped into self-employment (prior to that I held onto a few positions that were flexible, but still W9).
But the biggest struggles were internal ones. Confidence was a huge obstacle for me, and that led to me being very risk-averse. It wasn’t just in business: I didn’t want to take risks anywhere. Whether it was not going out for the Varsity team because I didn’t believe I had the skills, or not asking out my classmate because I didn’t think she thought of me that way. I chose FEAR 9 times out of 10, and I got very used to that feeling. Overcoming that was the biggest challenge in my life.
So let’s switch gears a bit and go into the Having It A.L.L. story. Tell us more about it.
I run a Balance Lifestyle Coaching company that helps Entrepreneur Parents create and sustain true B.A.L.A.N.C.E. between all the things they love. I believe that we all can “have it A.L.L.”, and in my own life, I’ve created balance, joy, and flow that is sustainable and life-bringing.
I truly love working with Entrepreneur Parents who are feeling imbalanced and overstressed, and who are tired of the hustle and grind way of living.
There is an alternative path, however, you’re not going to find it in the normal conversations out there about “work-life balance.”
In my business, I do 1-on-1 coaching with my clients, along with group workshops and classes. I also have digital products for the people who prefer a self-paced style.
What sets me apart is that I’m measured. I use a powerful personal measurement system called the YourDay Balance Game to measure my fitness, lifestyle, and consciousness. This program ensures that I walk the talk. There’s nothing that I share with or recommend to my clients that I’m not doing 10x on myself. Integrity is my #1 personal value, and that can be felt in all areas of my business.
I can also identify with my clients on a very personal level. I’m a father and an entrepreneur. I’m a dedicated husband and an advocate for self-care. I’m very involved in my community and a loving son/brother. I have many roles that are important to me, and I use the systems and tools I share with my clients to maintain day-to-day (moment-to-moment) balance in my own life.
How do you think the industry will change over the next decade?
The biggest shift I see coming is changing the narrative of “work-life balance”. The idea of balancing work and life is outdated, ineffective and can be dangerous. We are not two selves: our work selves and our life selves. Trying to stuff yourself into those two boxes is a losing pursuit, yet the societal conversation is frequently one of “How can I achieve more work-life balance?” Just Google it and you’ll see how many conversations there are out there on that old paradigm!
The new paradigm I am an advocate of is P/PC balance (from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People). The balance between our Production (P) and our Production Capacity (PC). Put in simpler terms, the balance between the lives that we’ve built for ourselves and our ability to handle those lives.
You feel IOU Syndrome (the feeling of being chronically Imbalanced, Overstressed and Uninspired) when the life you’re living is bigger than what you can manage. When that happens, we have to fill the gap, and many times we do that with drugs, alcohol, artificial uppers, and a whole host of other unhealthy behaviors.
Having a true P/PC balance means that you’ve built yourself up to be able to handle the life and responsibilities you’ve created. It means maturely and intelligently adding more to your plate, only when you have the ability to handle it in a healthy way.
That may look like you building more healthy habits BEFORE having your next child. Or deepening your spiritual practice BEFORE expanding your business. Or improving your relationship with your wife BEFORE buying the bigger home.
There are specific and measured ways to grow your PC so that you can handle more P, and this is the type of balance that I teach my clients.
Pricing:
- Podcasts and ebooks: FREE
- Products, workshops and Courses: $149 – $997
Contact Info:
- Website: www.MatthewBivens.com
- Email: matthew@matthewbivens.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthew_bivens/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/havingitallpodcast/
- Other: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthewisyourguy/
Getting in touch: VoyageATL is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.
