Today we’d like to introduce you to Sadija A. Smiley.
Sadija, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA. I attended college at West Virginia State University, in Institute, WV. My junior year in college, on April 28, 2003, I learned that I was pregnant. I was 21 years old at the time and didn’t think I was ready to be a mother. My due date was December 23, 2003. On November 12, 2003, at 36 weeks pregnant, I went to the hospital because I realized that my daughter had not been as active as normal. It was at the hospital, that afternoon that I learned that my daughter “did not have a heartbeat”. That was the worse day of my life! On November 13, 2003, my baby girl, Ivyanna Salene, was born sleeping. I had to say hello and goodbye in one day. I felt alone, ashamed, embarrassed, isolated, depressed and suicidal, just to list a few emotions. It was a tragic, traumatic and devastating experience that I didn’t think I would survive BUT I did. And because I did, I made a promise to my daughter that I would tell her story, honoring her life and helping others that have experienced a stillbirth, pregnancy or infant loss. In November 2017, for my daughter’s 14th birthday, I passionately founded Stillborn and Infant Loss Support (SAILS) to do just that. SAILS is a nonprofit organization, dedicated to raising awareness and creating a supportive environment for families affected by stillbirth, pregnancy and infant loss.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
The road to SAILS Founder & CEO has had its challenges. Many people don’t like to talk about death, especially the death of an unborn baby. For many, it’s a private experience and they don’t want to talk about it, but for others, they wish someone would ask them about their baby because they are literally dying to talk about him/her. Breaking the silence and shattering the stigma around pregnancy loss is not an easy task. It’s not a hot topic and it’s hard to make it enticing to engage others. It’s a delicate balance of respecting the level of discomfort of others and honoring the lives of our babies gone too soon.
Another challenge is, I am still in pain! It is painful to recount by stillbirth story but I know it helps others to heal. I am healing while journeying with others as they heal and this can sometimes be a struggle. That struggle gives me the strength to keep going. Many don’t take into account that while I am journeying with them to their healing, I am still healing as well.
Please tell us about Stillborn and Infant Loss Support (SAILS).
Stillborn and Infant Loss Support (SAILS) is a nonprofit organization, founded to honor the life of my firstborn daughter, Ivyanna Salene, who was stillborn. Our mission is to raise awareness and support survivors. Through outreach programs, events and fundraising, we aim to increase awareness about stillbirth, pregnancy and infant loss and ensure that those affected have a strong support network during their time in need.
I am most proud of the progress we have made to break the silence and shatter the stigma associated with pregnancy and infant loss. We have created a community where survivors feel comfortable sharing their experience and saying their baby’s name.
What sets us apart from other nonprofits doing similar work is that while we are passionate about supporting and advocating for survivors on their journey, we are just as passionate about educating the community about how they can support survivors too.
If you had to go back in time and start over, would you have done anything differently?
In all honesty, if I had to start over, I would have delivered a healthy living baby girl. Since I know that is impossible, I have used my pain to propel me into my purpose. Establishing and running a nonprofit is not easy. People think all the events should be free, not taking into consideration that the profits from the events help to fund and manage the programs and services provided. There’s a misconception that nonprofits are better off than for-profits, not needing money because we receive grants. While many nonprofits receive grants, it can be very challenging for a start-up nonprofit to receive funding as we don’t have as much data and outcomes as the established nonprofits that we are competing with.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.bornintosilence.org
- Phone: 410-941-9061
- Email: sailsmaryland@gmail.com
Image Credit:
Darnell Butler- Photographer, Staci Daye, Independent Mary Kay consultant – Make-Up, Begr8 Athletics- Shirt Design, Cayne Clark Photography
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