Today we’d like to introduce you to Sal Harper.
Sal, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
This is not a profession I chose for myself. I fell into it by default after my own discovery 13 years ago. I cannot begin to articulate how painful it is to discover your husband is cheating on you.
We hear about it in the tabloids and gossip around the watercooler about a workplace romance between two colleagues, but you never know how you’re going to feel or react until it happens to you.
We did everything we could to keep our marriage together. We started seeing a marriage counselor, we learned to communicate differently, we went on road trips more frequently and started going on date nights every week but unfortunately, our marriage didn’t survive.
I was absolutely devastated when my husband walked out the front door. I sacrificed so much for him NOT to make this relationship work. I left my job, my friends and family to support him when he relocated us across the country to pursue his dream job. I gave up a career in order to stay home and raise our children. We invested 21 years of our lives together and survived many of life’s ups and downs. How could we not survive this?
All I could think about was the impact divorce would have on our two young boys, growing up in a broken home without their father present. It pushed me into a deep state of depression. He wanted me to go back to work, so I did but ended up losing my job a few months after he left. When that happened, I started drinking heavily and taking prescription drugs to numb out and get through the day. At one point, I began making preparations to end my life. Those were some very dark days. I don’t know how I got through it, but by the grace of God, I did.
A couple, years later, I was having lunch with a friend when she asked me to take over the local betrayed women’s support group. I quickly responded with an emphatic No! I had spent an extensive period of time healing, processing my feelings and getting back on my feet that I was unwilling to rip open old painful wounds and relive the trauma from my own marriage by facilitating a support group.
The ecommerce store I had been building the year prior was exploding and I was getting ready to scale my business. Plus, I was in the process of getting a divorce. It didn’t make sense for me to lead a group of women on betrayal and infidelity recovery when my own marriage failed.
A few weeks had passed since having that conversation when I started noticing the most obscure signs about porn addiction. A colleague from the ecommerce mastermind group I was in, opened up to me about overcoming a porn addiction before marrying his wife; and another colleague shared his story about turning his recovery from porn addiction into a coaching business. It took me completely off guard but then I began to realize that maybe God was trying to tell me something.
When I reached out to my girlfriend to inquiry about the support group position, she informed me that it was still available and was thrilled that I had reconsidered. It was in that moment that I knew this is where He wanted me to be. Of course, it wasn’t as cut and dry as that. There was some heated debate and reluctance on my part to even go down this road, but in the end, He won. Over time, it became clear to me that there was plenty of support and groups for men with behavioral addiction; but where was the support and groups for the women who had been betrayed?
I seemed to have found my purpose, so the next day, I decided to close my store, hire a business strategist and go All In by launching my own coaching practice helping women overcome betrayal and infidelity.
Has it been a smooth road?
My biggest struggle right out of the gate was my own self-limiting beliefs. I had feelings of unworthiness and I felt I lacked the credentials that I believed was required to help women in their recovery. There are so many qualified coaches and therapists available in the market. I was convinced that the world didn’t need me and didn’t want to hear my story.
The second biggest struggle I faced was the pushback I was getting from friends, family and colleagues when they learned of my newfound profession. I was asked to change my name so I wouldn’t expose or embarrass the family; the pastor was reconsidering allowing me to facilitate this type of support group at our church, and some local therapists weren’t too happy about the marketing method I was using to grow my practice.
In the past, these obstacles would have discouraged me and I would have given up, but I learned a long time ago that the greatest opportunities come with challenges.
We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
Sal Harper Consulting works with women who have experienced infidelity due to sex or porn addiction. We teach betrayed women how to eliminate intrusive thoughts, emotional triggers and low self-esteem that comes with this type of discovery.
Our Signature 7-Step ‘Beyond Infidelity’ Blueprint is used to help women overcome excruciating pain and move past betrayal. This program is designed to help you gain clarity, accelerate healing, boost self-worth & confidence and teach you how to trust again.
This 7-step process works because we focus on the solution, not the situation. When we shift our attention to Her (not Him) while incorporating learning with laughter, this unique combination creates something magical that can’t be explained; it can only be experienced.
One thing every lady says when they finish our program is how grateful they are for being able to connect with others who can relate and empathize with what they are going through. It fills my heart with joy to see the growth and strides each woman makes in her healing journey by the time we wrap up.
How do you think the industry will change over the next decade?
There is a major shift moving towards calm and higher consciousness. Women are now embracing different forms of cognitive-behavioral therapy and stress relief activities like yoga, breathing and meditation, which we teach inside our program.
My philosophy is: “We heal when we are in a state of peace and we get into that state by practicing self-care.”
What quality or characteristic do you feel is most important to your success?
My success comes from deeply caring for my clients and from my ability to relate to their situation. I’ve been through what they’re going through. I’ve experienced first-hand the pain, intrusive thoughts, sleepless nights and self-doubt.
Every person deserves the peace of mind, love, joy and happiness. Often times, we get stuck in our circumstances because we can’t see past the dense fog of confusion. It’s my job to clear the fog.
Contact Info:
- Website: SalHarper.com
- Phone: 704.448.6510
- Email: Hello@SalHarper.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sal_harper/
- Facebook: https://www.fb.com/hello.sal.harper
- Other: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sal-harper/
Image Credit:
Mnemosyne Studios, Klem + Co
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