Today we’d like to introduce you to Saudade Toxosi.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Saudade. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
I began drawing with my mother when I was four years old. I remember throwing temper tantrums because her drawings were so magical, beautiful and full of life. I too desired to create drawings that were alive. I set up a corner in our home by a window where I would draw and await my mother’s return from work. I was alone very much as a child and growing up in Los Angeles was very hard on me in many ways. The sadnesses of my neighborhood held a tight grip on my mind and heart. I was imploding most of the time. As I grew older, my family moved to Atlanta and drawing became my lifeline. Art became my way of communicating my deepest emotions. When I entered high school, I had an art teacher that pushed me to draw and paint. He was always excited about every medium I put my hands on. I nor my peers could understand his great regard for my work. So, I asked him “what is it about my drawings and paintings that you like?” He stated ” your lines are unique and can not be copied. I can copy 98% of my students work. Push yourself to continue.” After his words, he gave me a few artists to read such as Claude Monet and Henri Matisse. However, due to the criticism of my peers, I did not continue my drawings. I was overcome by naysayers much sadness from my early childhood returned.
Once I graduated, I began drawing and painting again. Too much of my surprise, I found myself in college. I was really running away. I did not like high school and why would I choose college? Nevertheless, I met another art professor who silently began looking at my works. He bought my first painting and wrote a letter of recommendation for further studies at the High Museum of Art (now SCAD) in Atlanta. At this time, I thought I was ready to explore the world of art but, I found that the world of art by way of the institution was far from free or forward-thinking. I felt boxed in. I left art school courageously choosing for myself another path. I began selling my art by way of submissions to galleries and art auctions. I met artists that were making a living by selling their artworks. Artists like Maurice Evans and Kojo Griffin took time with me and showed me what they had learned towards success. I was doing quite well and working a full-time job. I did not work hard at my craft but I worked with artists and galleries that I chose for myself. I worked at my own pace.
Soon, my works of art began connecting with other artists by way of social media. I began working outside of Atlanta through online art blogs, album covers, museums exhibitions with writers and musicians in Los Angeles, New York, and Scotland. It was all so surreal. Still, I could not grasp it. I was building momentum in a space that was extremely challenging and by word of mouth. I imploded once again and feel into a great depression-years passed. I put aside painting and drawing altogether and began sourcing found images. I created a blog entitled Equinox 1600. Here was a space that I felt I could breathe, be myself and protect myself from others. But Equinox 1600 started impacting filmmakers and cinematographers. I began receiving phone calls with job inquiry for image research for cinema and commercials. I began working overseas in museums and assisting film directors such as Arthur Jafa and Kahlil Joesph. I began receiving emails from students at the New School and all over the world who heard of my gifts and talents. With this, I created my business Stoxosi “art inspired my ancestral wisdom and inner strength”. I created this business as a way in which I could grow and develop my gifts through collaborations focusing on like-minded efforts to change societal views of difference and to change the perceptions of African American people amongst ourselves. My work is to reach deep inside the viewer and myself with reverence for memory or ancient knowing within our DNA that can be translated and promote healing. As I continue to grasp my success as moments in silence and prayer, I produce within me a greater strength to heal myself. Depression is very hard for me still and sometimes times leaves me immobile.
But art keeps me alive and it is a powerful tool that always finds a way to push me forward. With honor and gratitude, I can say “I clearly share my mothers gift of beautiful and magical creations.”
Has it been a smooth road?
My struggles were imprinted upon me by way of experiencing multiple deaths to young. Being a witness to violence and sex can be too much for a child. With this, I became very frightened to go to people and establishing relationships due to loss, separations, and betrayals. It was as if the more I grew up, the heartache followed me. Even to this day, I struggle with building relationships that I fully express myself in. But, when I look at my life “wow, I have had many successes and many more to come.”
So let’s switch gears a bit and go into the Stoxosi story. Tell us more about it.
Stoxosi is best known for image research. I pull from photo and film archives solely based on my unique eye for the interpretation of the cinematic goal. This is then incorporated into ‘the” storyboard to creation of the art/film storyboard. What I am most proud of is that all of my work has come by word of mouth. I have not had to advertise or search for my collaborations. What sets me apart from the others is selecting found images and placing them in a sequence that is stirring, breathtaking and moves the viewer deeply.
How do you think the industry will change over the next decade?
In the next to five years, I am changing once again by way of creating my own films. I will also return to my first love which is drawing and painting. This is a big leap for me. Sometimes, when I am focused and working, I need accountability or a date and time for completion. I tend to linger with my work and procrastinate. However, it is a needed journey in understanding more of myself and areas of my life that I must heal.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.stoxosi.com
- Email: saudade.toxosi@gmail.com
- Other: https://equinox1600-saudadetoxosi.tumblr.com
Image Credit:
all images by stoxosi
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