Today we’d like to introduce you to TaLynn Kel.
Hi TaLynn, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I’ve been a creative for my entire life.
It’s always been a challenge because unless you are incredibly talented and have a benefactor or trust fund, being creative for the sake of being creative is something you do as a hobby, not a career. I knew what career paths I was supposed to choose and none of them felt right for me. But I also needed money so I needed to figure out something and creative writing wasn’t it.
I went to college, got a degree in English, and then figured out how I could make money. I spent years in admin jobs, doing whatever needed to be done and only writing creatively in my journal. My writing was a combination of autobiographical pieces and poetry expressing my angst with life. I stopped sharing my writing and convinced myself that I didn’t need it.
But I always came back to it.
I was always drawn to other creatives. I would seek out writing groups, people creating publications – this was before the emergence of social media where self-publishing would become a viable option. At one time, I maintained a blog on the now-defunct Yahoo360 – my very first foray into online publishing. Because my writing has always been about my life experiences, I learned very quickly the hellscape you can create by writing about the people in your life. While I wouldn’t recommend it, that experience helped me learn what boundaries I needed and wanted to develop in my current writing. It also taught me how to talk about the people in my life while still respecting their privacy.
During that time, I learned about the existence of cosplay and fully jumped into that activity. I mentioned before that I have always been creative; cosplay was an area I could express my desire to create physical art. I wasn’t a dedicated enough artist to learn to create using any traditional mediums but with cosplay, I could create props, play with makeup, deconstruct and reconstruct clothing. I got into the habit of repurposing items for costume needs. It became a haven and helped bring fun and frivolity into a life that had become monotonous and depressing. Like a lot of people who’ve been conditioned to believe that adulthood means the end of fun, cosplay gave me an outlet I was willing to fight for – and fight I did.
Because cosplay, much like many activities in the U.S. is racist, fatphobic, sexist, ableist, weirdly nationalist, and exhibits everything that makes this country what it is. That meant that being visible in cosplay was hard for someone like me – Black, fat, and femme-presenting with a personality that takes up space and commands attention. I decided that I could combine my creative interests and amplify both – especially with the popularity of social media. Cosplay gets attention, so Breaking Normal (www.talynnkel.com) was born.
Since then, I’ve written a couple of hundred essays, hosted panels, conducted video interviews with other Black creators, been invited to cosplay at numerous events, been invited on podcasts, collaborated with Dedren Snead of Subsume Media (https://www.linkedin.com/company/subsume/about/) to create the New Wakanda podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/new-wakanda/id1515956531). I’ve commissioned art of myself that I use to promote inclusive representation for Black women and larger bodies. I’ve hosted a cosplay catwalk at the Curvy Fashionista’s Style Expo in 2019, wrote a comic for Moving Ink Media’s property, Kamikaze.
In addition to collaborations, I co-created an event called Black Girl Geek Out that’s been on hiatus as we figure out this pandemic stuff. I’m working on a personal comic that is still in its early phases and I’m working on a documentary with Kecia Stovall on Black people in geek spaces. I’ve published two collections of my essays – Breaking Normal and Still Breaking Normal, which are available on Amazon. I also created a coloring book, Cosplay AnyWay Coloring Book also available on Amazon.
Since being grounded by the pandemic, I’ve started doing more self-portraiture, embracing my body and celebrating my physical beauty, something I’ve avoided because I’m Black and fat and I’ve been conditioned to never see myself as beautiful for those reasons. It’s okay to enjoy my appearance in cosplay because I’m doing a community activity but to like my appearance just because? Unheard of, even though it’s a huge part of participating in cosplay. What I learned is that many social media platforms have very strict ideas on what violates community standards online, and my fat body in a bikini is one of those things. To avoid having my accounts suspended 30 days at a time, I created an Only Fans account where I can post without censure. It’s been fun and seeing myself as beautiful with my roles rather than in spite of them has been liberating.
One thing that’s been crucial to any of the content I create and the work I do online and in public is acknowledging the various aspects of my humanity, not just the socially acceptable ones. I’ve chosen to show when I’m vulnerable, weak, hurt as well as when I’m happy, proud, and successful. I choose to share a lot of myself and while that isn’t marketable, it is helpful for those who think their pain and vulnerabilities are something of which to be ashamed. I’m not a superwoman and sharing that through my creative efforts is something that I’m proud to do.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I realized early on that I don’t know how to make money doing this work. The stuff I do isn’t popular. I talk a lot about anti-racism and I center my humanity in everything I do. That means that I don’t hold myself to reliable production schedules, which has long been hallmarked as an indicator of success but has too high a personal cost for me. Learning this and accepting it has been a hard road because I want to beat myself up for being sporadic, but I’m not a machine and when I tried to produce like one, I hurt myself. Between the stress, lack of sleep, and lack of attention to my needs, I caused a series of health issues that became chronic conditions. I have learned that time off and fun are crucial on a daily basis, which means that I can’t do all the things I want.
Also, let’s keep it real, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. I see other creatives making projects happen and I get envious. I wish I was as productive, but I also love the variety of projects I create and the learning process that’s part of all of them. Part of the joy of creation is making that path for myself and learning different things along the way. I used to be intensely focused on the product but I’ve chosen to prioritize the journey and the cost is less product but more enjoyment in doing them.
It’s a challenging trade-off but it’s one I’m willing to make because I’ve done it the other way and didn’t like it.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
My work is anti-oppression and it manifests in everything I do. From the art I conceptualize and commission to the essays I write and the conversations I either participate in or initiate, I view the world through that lens and include it in my output. I think of everything as a learning experience, even if the less is “don’t do that” and I appreciate that part of myself. I am always going to try new things and push my creative pursuits. I am proud of my decision to keep expanding my horizons – not that I have much choice. It goes against my nature to do the same thing over and over, which is why my essays read as an evolution and don’t often talk about the same things from the same perspective. To put it simply, I’d be that band whose sound changes dramatically on every album but the theme, anti-oppression, would always be part of that work.
I love my willingness to call something what it is. I’m not saying anything groundbreaking or revolutionary, but I am willing to be direct and honest about things, which is something this society desperately needs but continually lacks.
The crisis has affected us all in different ways. How has it affected you and any important lessons or epiphanies you can share with us?
I’ve always known that rest is important, but this pandemic taught me that joy and pleasure are as important as rest. Fun is something that isn’t prioritized in this society because we see suffering as noble and necessary. We see this reflected in our day to day lives, our religions, our art and media. Joy is frivolous and a privilege, not something we are entitled to, yet people do not function well without joy. And we know this. We have billion-dollar industries built on medicating our lack of joy through prescription medication, alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana. I learned that I needed my social outlets more than I anticipated and that I needed to change what I did for fun and make that a part of my daily life – and I spent the second part of 2020 doing exactly that.
I am a work in progress. There are times when I feel like I’m wasting time when I take breaks or do stuff just because it makes me happy. I tried to monetize streaming but I realized that it took away the joy I had gaming when I set a schedule and invited people to watch. I had to take my hobbies back and just do them when I felt like it, rather than to build an audience or meet some goal. I’m not great at it. When I started doing my Only Fans, I committed to a heavy schedule and I’m still trying to pare that back without abandoning it, but it’s hard because creating that content is a lot of work despite being a lot of fun.
Contact Info:
- Email: talynnkel@gmail.com
- Website: https://talynnkel.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talynnkel/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TaLynnKel1
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/TaLynnKel
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Talynnkel
- Other: https://www.patreon.com/talynnkel
Image Credits:
First 3 photos were taken by me. Coyote Run cover by Moving Ink Media (https://www.movinginkmedia.com/), illustrated by Angael Davis (http://angael.net/) Still Breaking Normal cover photo by Geek Behind The Lens Photography (https://www.geekbehindthelens.com/)
