Today we’d like to introduce you to Tonya Carter.
Tonya, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I’ve been divorced for about eight years but truly living an intentional life for almost four of those years. Even though I was “legally” divorced, I wasn’t mentally and emotionally divorced from the toxicity that divorce can leave behind.
My life post-divorce was challenging from balancing single motherhood, losing five jobs in four years, financial hardships, and other bad relationships. During this time, I never processed how I felt because “being strong” was all I knew and that was to deal with it (i.e. suck it up) and move forward. But I wasn’t “moving forward”, I was going backwards because my life really didn’t change much. By allowing all that stress to build up, my health started to take a turn into depression, anxiety as well as autoimmune issues. What I realized about the body is that it never lies! It will react to how you are feeling over time. I had to stop being a victim of my circumstances and start becoming a victor of it.
I made a decision to work on the person who I can change and that was me. It was time I do my work: from healing, forgiving, letting go of the guilt and shame, changing my mindset and being around others who can help me grow and evolve into the woman I am becoming. It was time to change my environment… not just physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Being a divorce coach wasn’t initially my plan but 50% of marriages end in divorce and many aren’t taught a blueprint on living a thriving life afterwards. I want to help as many women as I can create a new life by first letting go of their old one and that involves divorcing their entire story and recommitting to a new one.
Has it been a smooth road?
The road to challenges is never easy. It seemed like when it rained it poured. When I decided to walk away from my marriage, I lost my job two weeks later and here I am four jobs later and I’ve lost a total of five. The stress of making sure bills was paid and taking care of my household as well as my children’s needs was always a worry of mine.
Balancing single motherhood is one of those things where you have to show up mentally, emotionally, financially and physically and I didn’t even have that to give to myself but during that time, I didn’t realize that because I put what I needed (which was to deal with me) on the backend.
My pattern with relationships was pretty much the same. My divorce really took a toll on me which resulted in self-esteem and self-confidence issues. Those issues caused me to repeat similar situations that I vowed to never deal with again. All that did was put me in a deeper state of depression and feeling sorry for myself.
From not experiencing life challenges in a healthy way, I started experiencing health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and autoimmune issues. The mind and body are connected and when they’re not in sync, your body will let warn you in ways that you weren’t prepared for. You can look the part BUT you cannot fake the internal.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
My business specializes in assisting women with divorce. This involves helping them heal, making the best decisions moving forward during their most challenging time and for them to reinvent themselves.
I’m extremely proud of seeing women getting through it and not just over it. My goal for them is to go through the challenges they’re facing instead of running from them. This allows them to build resilience and confidence within themselves that will give them the strength to keep going, not to mention rediscovering who they are as well.
What sets me apart is the “tough love” that is given. This involves being totally honest with my clients. The direct approach I give to my clients is an approach that will help them and not harm them. To make them see the bigger picture as opposed to the current. To thrive instead of simply survive.
How do you think the industry will change over the next decade?
I plan on creating a foundation to help single mothers bounce back from hardships such as providing temporary housing, continuing education, and personal development.
Provide scholarships to high school African American girls that will help with college such books, tuition, housing etc.
I want to develop global conferences that will empower women to divorce their story, own their happiness, and reinvent a new life.
Pricing:
- 12-Week Divorce Coaching – $649.00 ($49 down/ $200/month for 3 months
- ReInventU Online Group Coaching – $29/monthly
Contact Info:
- Website: Tonya Carter
- Phone: 678-249-0470
- Email: info@mstonyaspeaks.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mstonyaspeaks/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mstonyaspeaks/
- Other: http://www.mstonyaspeaks.com/
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