Today we’d like to introduce you to Olivia Raines.
Olivia, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
Getting into my first real relationship was exciting and scary. It soon became just scary when I became a victim of sexual assault, emotional, and verbal abuse. I didn’t come into the relationship whole by any means. I was still hurting from some of the things that happened in my childhood. I was in the process of healing from it and trying to get closer to God. This is when I started getting close and having feelings for my best friend. I was nervous about the thought of dating him but he worked hard to put my mind to ease. I eventually agreed to give it a go and let my walls down.
I was in this on and off relationship for almost two years. One day He broke it off for good. I was upset because I endured so much and tried so hard to “get” him to treat me with respect. I became even more upset when I realized that he also cheated on me with two young ladies most of the relationship. As anyone could expect, I was hurt. Although I found out that he cheated on me, it was the sexual assault and the emotional and verbal abuse that caused me to enter into a deep depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I hated looking at myself in the mirror because all I could see was brokenness. I was holding the secrets of our relationship and it was too heavy for me to bear alone. No one knew just how bad it was. I didn’t have any confidence. I didn’t think I was enough, hated my personality, and viewed myself as weak. When I finally let the people closest to me know, they encouraged me to tell my parents. I told my mom and she stopped at nothing to get me a Christian Counselor. Throughout this process, God was the only one I could cry to and hold on for dear life. I went through days of having thoughts of suicide. There were many days where I would cry myself to sleep. There were times where I would ask my friend to drive me to church because I didn’t trust myself to drive safely. There were many times where I slept over my two friends’ apartment because I didn’t trust myself to not end my life. I was constantly praying, crying, reading my bible, and fasting just trying to break free from the pain. On the night of October 26, 2017, I became so exhausted from fighting to the point I was ready to give up. I told God that I couldn’t continue to live like this. I told God that I only had the strength to fight for one more week and if He didn’t heal me, there was no way I could continue to live. I didn’t say this because I was angry with Him or thought He was a bad God. I just felt like I was at the end of my rope. That night told I God exactly how I would commit suicide and then went to sleep. I woke up and felt peace for the first time in years. It felt like I didn’t have weights on my back anymore. God completely healed me from the PTSD, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. It defiantly wasn’t overnight because I spent months fasting, praying, crying, and asking God to heal me. Many might read that and think God to be harsh for allowing me to deal with this for so long but in reality, He was so gracious. This process taught me how powerful God really is. It taught me endurance, sacrifice, and how to cling to Him when I felt alone. After this, I committed a year to God. I just wanted to learn and heal from all of the hurt the relationship caused. This was the best year I had experienced in a long time. Just learning and hearing what God thought about me truly healed me.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
The process was not easy! As I said in the last question, I dealt with some hard things. I was dealing with this while working as a resident assistant and taking the hardest classes of my major. Even though I was going through all of these things, I still had obligations that needed my attention. It was only by the grace of God that I got A’s and B’s out of my classes and my boss thought I was doing great. There were times where I had a panic attack right before a test and by the grace of God he let me take it on a different day. During this time, God placed a friendly face in my class who reminded me when things were due and when we had tests. I was struggling! I also had the constant fear of running into my ex on campus, which I did. On the outside, I might have looked like I held it together but on the inside; I was having a panic attack.
The advice I could give to women would be to tell people what happened or is happening. Don’t tell just anyone but tell those who you can trust and whom you know want the best for you and won’t judge you. Get a good Christian Counselor who is knowledgeable in trauma therapy! Talk to people who can pray for you, uplift you, and don’t mind getting down to your level in order to bring you back up. You need STRONG women in your life. Be as vulnerable and real with yourself, others who are trying to help you, and God. The conversations I had with God weren’t always of me stating how amazing He was. Sometimes it consisted of me crying and telling Him how I didn’t understand why I’m dealing with this, and how upset I was. Spend time crying out to God and even more time listening to what He has to say. Don’t try to cover the pain with alcohol, partying, getting into another relationship, or having sex. None of those things will heal you. They will only leave you more broken and empty. The only thing that can fill and heal you is God.
What do you do, what do you specialize in, what are you known for, etc. What are you most proud of? What sets you apart from others?
Well, I do a lot. I’m a fashion stylist, write blog posts, create powerful events, write and perform poetry, and I’m a speaker but most of all I desire to make disciples through everything I do. I created and coordinated an event called “Behind Closed Doors” which shared my story and others through art, poetry, music, and videos. It was created to encourage others to surrender and share what they had kept hidden behind closed doors.
I am most proud of helping women understand who they are through Christ, help them gain confidence, and point them to God who is the only one who can heal every part of them. What sets me apart is my boldness and desire to speak the gospel. I also think my heart for God and His women sets me apart.
Finding a mentor and building a network are often cited in studies as a major factor impacting one’s success. Do you have any advice or lessons to share regarding finding a mentor or networking in general?
I would say allow God to highlight a mentor to you. When I was at my lowest, God sent me the most perfect mentor. She was someone I needed to speak life into me, help me to see myself the way God sees me, and to challenge me to go deeper into my faith walk with God. I would also say to reach out to the person you feel God is telling you should be your mentor. You could invite them to lunch or dinner and pay for their meal, get to know them, and see if this is someone you aspire to be. If you feel like by the end of the lunch or dinner you still want them as a mentor, ask them if they would think about it. You don’t want to pressure an answer out of them immediately because you would probably get a no. If you take the pressure off and allow them to think about it, you have more of a chance of them saying yes.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://olivialraines.wixsite.com/purpose
- Email: olivialraines@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/olivialraines/
Image Credit:
Rommie Brown took all of my fashion pictures. His instagram is officialrommiebrown, Caleb South took all of my pictures from my event. His instagram is calebsouth_
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