Today we’d like to introduce you to Scalise Sisters: Samantha, Lauren & Emilie
Hi Scalise Sisters: Samantha, Lauren & Emilie, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Emilie Scalise:
I remember sitting at the dinner table one night after some brainstorming of what we needed to do to say thank you. Lauren had mentioned something along the lines of raising money, and we got to the idea of the walk from there. What we didn’t realize was how hard choosing a name would be. I think the beginning was such an unreal experience that I don’t remember as much of it as I wish I could. I was 12 when we started everything, and with each year I was able to become more and more active in the event in the moment as opposed to behind the scenes. I was not one to speak in front of the crowd or even learn about the medical side of things. When my mom was going through surgeries I hid away from her and everything was unknown. In the moment it felt a lot better to hide from that as opposed to trying to figure out what was going on. This feeling took me a long time to understand, but once I could put it into words I was able to use a combination of my art and our story to create a book for kids or family members like us to simplify what was going on. I published a children’s book called My Mommy Has Cancer But She’s Still My Mommy a few years ago, and that has become my outlet for helping others grasp the changes that are happening and have a sense of calm in all the chaos that is cancer.
Lauren Scalise:
I was in the car with my mom when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were on our way to go pick up sam from practice when she pulled over to take a phone call. All I heard was “when I didn’t bruise in the same way I knew I had it”. It took a minute for my mom to say anything to me. When she did she told me she had breast cancer. Time froze right there. My mind went to the worst case scenario, what if I lose my mom. I was terrified. That was the longest couple of minutes of my life. I continued on for a while getting used to our new normal. Then came the day of my moms surgery. I still had to go to school that day but I was so checked out. My 8th grade teachers knew what was going on and let me miss classes when needed and sit in the back of the room. It was a really hard day. Then I had a softball game that night and was in a daze the whole time. I didn’t find out until I was eating dinner at my friends house that the surgery didn’t go as planned. Her cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and she would need chemo and radiation. My world shattered again. My mind went to the worst case again. She started going to TurningPoint to get her strength back and learn how to live life again after cancer. And we could all see how important the work they were doing was.
A little bit later I was given the opportunity in my English class to write a personal narrative about anything I wanted. I chose to use that as a way to write about my feelings and how I was coping. I agreed with my teacher that only select people would peer review and I wouldn’t have to read it out loud when everyone else did. Well that didn’t happen. The day we were suppose to read our papers we had a sub. And he insisted that everyone read their paper. So I did. I was sitting there on the stood in front of my classmates, most of which had no idea what was going on, reading the most personal thing I had ever written. That’s when I decided that we needed to do something to give back to TurningPoint for helping our mom get back to her normal strong self. At dinner that night I brought it up and we decided on a fund raising walk. Almost 10 years ago we had no idea it would turn into this. But we are so thankful to our supporters and it means the world to use to give back to TurningPoint so everyone else can get the best after cancer care there is.
Samantha Scalise:
Strides for Survivors started as a way for our family to cope with and understand the importance of the community that held us together and got us through Mom‘s journey. Today it is continuing to grow so that we can help others feel supported in their journeys. From the jump, we knew that the TurningPoint Breast Cancer Rehabilitation Center was going to be our sole beneficiary because we wanted to highlight and expose as many people as we could to the incredible work that they’re doing – holistic care and the whole human approach to a breast cancer journey both while in treatment and years after. Survivorship is a sisterhood a community that you don’t wanna be a part of, but once you’re on the other side and in that group, there’s a bond you share for life to this day. I still feel a little twinge when I can see someone who has a port scar and I know what it is without having to ask. Knowing that it means that they’ve had to go through the gut wrenching whole body encompassing pain of chemotherapy. I will keep advocating for screening and self breast exams and advocating for your own health as long as I have a voice to do so, and Strides for Survivors has amplified my voice.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Emilie Scalise:
There is really nothing smooth riding about cancer. From diagnosis to procedures and recovery, our mom did not do things the way anyone expected. She has always taught us to speak up and advocate for ourselves if something feels wrong. And if she hadn’t lived by that rule who knows what would’ve happened. She told the doctor to prepare for the worst because it’s always something with our family, and she was right. Despite her having control in her medical process, we had to transition from mom being there for everything, every event or carpool, to her being home every day. It was such a harsh transition for us to go from her being team mom and volunteer in everything to her not going anywhere but the doctors for a while. I think the hardest adjustment for me was having to explain to people why my mom wasn’t at school or at my games like she always was. We had a huge support system of our family and community but having to explain it to others was harder on me than I ever expected.
When it comes to the walk, I think the biggest struggle was when we each went off to school. It went from us girls walking into stores and asking for sponsors or support to mom having to do all that while we were each in different cities. The most difficult transition was when I started to play college softball. We actually had to change the date of the walk to January to accommodate the start of my season in February. But now that I am no longer playing college ball, it has become much easier to go home for the walk and help out leading up to the day of the walk.
Lauren Scalise:
Our mom has always been to go to person for everything we’ve been involved in. She was always team mom and volunteering to help out with our activities. When she had her surgery we thought she would be out for a few months and bounce right back. But we were wrong. Finding out her cancer had spread and she would need chemo, radiation, and more surgery was life shattering. It meant she would be less present in our lives outside of the house for much longer than anticipated. It was a weird and difficult adjustment. None of us were old enough to drive yet so we would have friends and family pick us up from school and sports so dad could work a full day. We really relied on our community in this time and are so thankful to them. We expected this process to only take a few months but our lives were disrupted for so many more. As a 13 year old, it was really hard to not have mom there like she usually was.
When we started this walk 9 years ago in 2017, we were all living under the same roof and going to the same school. Slowly over the years we went off to college. We are now living in 3 different states. It’s really hard to get the logistically things done when we’re so far apart and can’t just discuss over dinner like we could the first couple of years. We make it a point to block off the walk weekend and come home, but usually that’s not until Friday night when the walk is on Saturday. It’s always a long night often not ending until 1am and then we get up at 6am to make the walk happen. Most years I have gotten sick after the walk just because of the stress on my body and lack of sleep. It’s hard to pull off when we only come home the night before now and have so much to get done. But it is so worth it and we will continue to do it. It’s also nice to have one weekend a year that we know the whole family will be together. With our busy schedules and being in different states, it’s hard to get all of us together so it’s really nice to have that time.
Samantha Scalise:
As we have grown up, one of our biggest struggles has been convening back in Atlanta for the walk each year. Starting in 2018, when I left for college, there has been at least one if not all of us working long distance to be able to pull off the walk each year. A lot of the grunt work, the face to face work and running around town, falls to mom. Even with distance separating us, we have been able to grow our walk each year, reaching new families and communities.
Another part that has made this journey grow along with us is what Strides for Survivors means to each of us. In the first year, it was a way for us to cope together to support the organization that brought our mom back to us healthy, and stronger than before. As years went on that has become a way to unite our family every year and remind us that there are still people out there struggling who don’t know the importance of post surgery care. Now it has become an education platform, a support platform and allowed us to, as we go through college and early in our careers, have knowledge of what it means to build something from the ground up
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
Emilie Scalise:
What stands out the most about what we do is the community and continued support. You hear about a lot of cancer research organizations and studies, but not a lot about the after. I know the surgery and diagnosis or anything along those lines are incredibly important, but it’s what comes after all of that that people tend to forget about. Yes you’re cancer free, but now you have to figure out how to manage medication side effects, get full range of motion back from the surgeries, and most of all find a community that knows what you’re going through. TurningPoint was that outlet for our mom, and, in turn, gave us our mom back. We knew that this was something we wanted to celebrate and support so that all women could have access to the support system that our mom had become a part of.
Not only do we want to highlight the amazing things TurningPoint does for women after breast cancer, but we want to be that system of support and comfort for anyone and everyone who may need it. Our family is very open about our experience, and everyone in our community knew our mom was going through cancer treatment, but for some families, that sharing of information is not an option. As we shared our story, the amount of people we learned had had similar experiences was astonishing. One of our biggest goals was to be able to offer some sort of comfort to anyone experiencing breast cancer in or around their family so that those little questions or concerns don’t get left unanswered.
Lauren Scalise:
When we were discussing the beginnings of our event that one night at dinner, we kept coming back to the idea that there are so many nonprofits and such that benefit cancer research. Don’t get me wrong, that is so important, but we wanted to support the post cancer side. That’s why we decided to make TurningPoint our sole beneficiary almost 10 years ago. Because they were doing work that most people don’t see or even think about. I assumed once you had the chemo and surgery’s that life went back to normal. I had no idea that amount of constant work and battles that it takes to get back to your before cancer self. TurningPoint gets that it’s hard and does everything they can to support their clients through the whole process, no matter what step they are in. Mom still goes in for massages event 10 years later. TurningPoint gets that it’s a process and you aren’t done after the last chemo or surgery.
Samantha Scalise:
What I am most proud of is our foundation of community support and togetherness. We began as a way to give back to turning point and still strive to do that every single day. In addition, we are a place for family and friends to come to to ask questions like: “what is it like to get a port?” “What are some things that helped you get through chemotherapy?” “when you have those really bad days or the nausea?” “what does it feel like to watch your role model be in pain and fighting for her life?” Those are all questions that my mom or I had and now we are a place that can at least provide some answers and some comfort and support for family and friends.
I think what sets us apart from other breast cancer related or organizations is that we’re focusing on the whole human and the family after that diagnosis. The words “you have cancer“ are life-changing, but it is not just about the surgeries of the medical side. A cancer journey is so much more than that and it really affects every person who is supporting the human going through the cancer treatment treatments. We chose TurningPoint as our sole beneficiary because we believe in their work– being that community place to answer questions, support the whole human, both medically and spiritually and emotionally. There is so much more that goes into the healing journey than just the chemotherapy, radiation and surgery and we want to continue to highlight the importance of post treatment care and a community centered focus in that care.
Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who/what else deserves credit for how your story turned out?
Emilie Scalise:
Our dad and grandpa have been such amazing supporters in all of this. Although they may not get the same spotlight that we do, none of this would have been possible without them. We also have the privilege of our chosen grandma Ellen’s support in everything. She and our grandpa (moms dad) teamed up to be our moms advocate and support through everything. She never went to a doctor’s appointment alone, and always had people there to ask the questions and write down all the answers to help find clarity in all the overwhelming chaos. But with those three incredible people by our side, we can’t forget about the ever growing community that Strides for Survivors has created. We have had so many incredible people who have attended the walk each year without fail, and who have reached out asking how they can help in any way. We built this community from our closest friends, teammates, and classmates all the way up to this great community of some people we don’t know personally yet. No matter how long we’ve known the people or what their reason for participating, we have an unwavering amount of support each year.
Lauren Scalise;
Our mom and the three of us are really the face of this movement but there are so many other people behind the scenes. Our dad and maternal grandpa have been our biggest cheerleaders. Whether it’s walking the route the day before to put out signage or staying up late to print out silent auction forms, the two of them have been a huge part to our success story. They keep us in check and have always cheered on our endeavors. We also have some incredible supporters who have walked with us since day one. Those people have been such a light in this experience. That first year we barely had 100 people and they were mainly our closest friends and our athletic teammates. Now we have over 200 people each year, a lot of which we don’t even know. But those people from the first year that have supported us this whole time are truly incredible and make us want to keep doing this for years to come.
Samantha Scalise:
Strides for Survivors is a family organization. While we say that it is myself and my two sisters, it is so much more. It’s our mom who is on paper the head of the organization because we started this before we were legally allowed to start a nonprofit age wise and needed someone over the age of 18 to sign the papers for us. It is our dad who is our muscle and our backbone and our calm steady when all of the sisters and mom get together and have too many ideas to think logically. It is our Grandpa who is our biggest cheerleader and also sets the mile markers out the day of the event. It is our Nana, Ellen, who cheers us on and reminds us that we are strong with and without Strides for Survivors and that we can keep doing more, but we’ve also done an incredible job so far. It is our friends who come year after year and can’t wait to see what the next years walk looks like and continue to support us and have a collection of most, if not all, nine shirts from our nine walks that we hosted thus far. It is our community members and organizations that support us year after year like Rev Coffee Roasters, our local coffee shop, and Goldberg’s Bagels who donates bagels they have so that we can feed people in typically freezing temperatures to encourage them to come walk with us. And it’s also TurningPoint who cheers us on just as much as we cheer them on. It’s a symbiotic relationship where we wouldn’t exist had not been for them and they keep cheering us each year.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://stridesforsurvivors.org
- Instagram: stridesforsurvivors
- Facebook: stridesforsurvivors
- LinkedIn: Strides for Survivors by the Scalise Sisters
Image Credits
Elizabeth Clay of E.L. Clay Photography
