Daily Inspiration: Meet Bas.t.modeus

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jareth Gonzalez Camacho.

Hi Jareth, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My name is Jareth, I go by Jaer for short and I am an alt performer that goes publicly by the name of Bas.t.modeus. I moved to Orlando, FL from Bogota, Colombia when I was four years old and I was raised as the first generation in America, not as Jaer but as my pre-transitioned self. While I only spoke Spanish to begin with, I learned quickly and was able to graduate from a Film Visual Performing Arts program in Dr.Phillips High School in 2012. I left the U.S.A already fully knowing that I was a transman, around 2013, and pursued my dreams in Japan to be a cinematographer. Things did not go as planned and I ended up closeting myself out of fear and survival. I got very sick and mentally unwell and was forced to come back to the states to seek medical help. I spent a decade trying to find myself again. I had horrible run ins with dependent relationships, drugs, alcohol, abuse, and chaos. It caused me to become agoraphobic over the years to the point of being bed ridden because of how many meds I was being prescribed. Those years can now feel like a distant blur and another life.

Authenticity has an interesting way to come knocking when it’s meant to. In the midst of my chaotic years I had experienced a moment of realizing I was trans again, this was triggered by the first time I ever tried a VR set. I pursued my reality but after a while I got scared, feeling like I wasn’t ready to do it on my own should I be shunned so I re-closeted myself again. I lived a few more years under a lie, jumping between two year relationships, until I landed a job as a bartender. During this period I made the most money I ever had and while it provided the funds for me to finally support my transitions, it also allowed me to be further distracted. I came out as trans for the last time, in 2022, and embraced who I was but I was also at the same time tied up with drinking for 5-6 hours a day for six days of the week. My job, environment, and friends at the time didn’t live the most favorable or healthy lifestyles. The pressure of living under the constant pace of Orlando and tourism was exhausting and being an introvert in the Front of house business it was all a living hell. My reality finally shattered when I found my friend and roommate, Elizabeth, deceased in her bed. What was a routine check in on a fellow party friend became the truth that shook me awake. I realized in that moment how fragile life really was and how it can all disappear in a second without you knowing. I grieved her deeply and felt that my surroundings just wanted me to drink her away too but I just couldn’t. I still carry her in my heart everywhere I go and she has been a guiding star through all of my life.

Over time I gained the courage to take a chance. I found it and was able to leave behind my career as a bartender, my old home, my comfort, and that which no longer served me. It was terrifying to show up in a new state without knowing anyone but after doing Japan it felt like I could handle it better. At first the cycles tried to find me again: drugs, alcohol, and relationships. I almost was going to lose opportunities before they even happened but I was able to snap out of the train. I began to seriously pursue my transition surgeries. At this point all I was able to achieve outside of my addictions was testosterone injections for 2 years. While it did help me in some ways it still didn’t help with my overall experience of life. I began to work as many hours as I could doing bar inventory early mornings and driving uber at night. I was able to save up to have a salpingo oophorectomy and a double mastectomy. Leading up to my top surgery I had to quit smoking, I was an active vape/cigarette smoker too, and I had to stop drinking. This was very difficult as at the time I was just functioning as a secretive addict but I knew I needed this more than anything and I was finally tired of running.

I flew to San Francisco and was blessed with the experience of my surgery. It was a very polarizing experience as a hispanic queer transman too. I finally made it to my goal and dreams, something I used to go to bed every night wishing I would make it, but at the same time the politics around me were starting to form about me. I was never a political person but I also wasn’t blind to how people reacted/treated me. The politics started to talk about the gender and race that I was. So while I found my inner love and reality, the world was debating whether my existence was valid. It was insane and incredibly hard to recover from top surgery and not be able to get up and protest or fight right away. I had to control myself, to be patient, to do the work and heal as much as I could so that I could get strong enough to do it right. Once I was cleared from surgery and released back home it felt like the guns had gone off on the races. I had my last drink, a refajo with a shot of arguadiente. These are beverages from my home, Colombia. I drank and realized how quick the high was gone and how it made me feel nothing good or worth it. After that point I decided to never pick up another drink again. I never returned to cigarettes or nicotine.

I messaged a dear friend of mine, Ivana Coquetu, and asked if she would be willing to let me study under her. I told her that I knew I wanted to perform more than anything. That was my secret captain, I was always hiding because I had a lot to share and it was only possible through music. I just couldn’t find where I fit and in her space at Electro Lounge and Sunday School for Sinners held at Red Light Cafe, I did. I found a home and a place where I could be loved just as I am, no matter how intense! The first show I was an understudy stage kitten. The second show I shadowed as a stage daddy (Manager). Ever since then I have been a Stage Daddy for both of her shows and I absolutely love what I do. I worked my butt off despite the heavy hours and I asked to debut in October of 2025. I debuted with a massive number with five of my friends to “MaMa” by My Chemical Romance. I exposed my style of performing which involved using my transgender journey and androgynous abilities to transition on stage. My performance style hones in on a special place of allowing masculinity to emote freely. I primarily focus on the intense emotions of anger and sadness, things I normally struggle with greatly. This helps fuel my performances and they can be very intense and fast paced. It’s hard to categorize my performance as any specific style as I draw inspirations from many styles of dance. I primarily move according to feeling and moment while telling the stories inside my heart from my travels. I ended up applying to be part of Anime Weekend Atlanta’s Burlesque show and was pleased to not only make it in but to also become the finale group number. It was my first time ever at that convention or even seeing that stage. My debut I had a crowd of 50 people at Red Light Cafe but then Anime Weekend Atlanta two months later had over 1,000! Regardless of the amount of people or the stage, my devotion and commitment to my message stays strong. I make it a habit to perform at places as my first experience there, a huge unknown but a challenge I welcome fully.

After these performances the dream only kept growing and I decided to go back to school to finish my degree that I had originally walked away from. Despite a decade gap since I was last in school. Instead of pursuing film I decided to pursue Fine Arts in order to improve my skills and tool box as a performer so I can continue to tell deep and intricate stories in multiple fashions. I do this despite fully knowing how the world is turning. I feel that now more than ever, we need artists and creative third spaces for us to connect past all the distractions. I work to create space so Mascs, cis or queer, can feel safe in being vulnerable without judgment or expectation. I want to increase grace and vulnerability to all and to share how masculinity and femininity can both share a space respectfully and fully.

Every day I wake up I have to choose whether I listen to the endless list of horrible things coming my way, reasons I’m supposed to be afraid, or why people around me want me out of the country. Instead I choose to wake up excited for the next time I perform, thrilled to learn something new, chase a craft that is forcing me to slow down, and grow into the man I have always been. I remind myself that every day that I am on stage it’s a risk. However it is a risk worth taking so that any other masc out there can see that it’s possible. That it’s honorful to fully bare yourself to the world. To be cringe and authentic. To love the process of failing and learning. To fall in love with the journey of life once the power is given back to that which deserves it, yourself.

I now am committed to a much healthier lifestyle. I have been cali sober since February 2025 and love to run and exercise. I perform and stage Daddy 2-3 times a month and go to school full time. I live a busy life and when I’m not creating I like to go camping for days to ground myself and connect back to my roots so I can stay focused. I supplement myself with gig work and am content making just enough to get by. I find myself being just grateful that I can live this kind of life thanks to my chosen family and my heart. I’m not here to reach millions. I don’t care about the social media game or the algorithm. I’m just an artist that has very important stories to tell and third spaces to endorse and create. Every day I chose to hope for my future so that those mascs that see me can also have hope too. If I can do it in the middle of total opposition, so can anybody.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
It wasn’t a smooth road. While I was paving my path as a performer I experienced more loss, discovered hidden health concerns, and lost friends. Choosing to commit to evolve into your best self means accepting having to say goodbye to things to make room for it. A lot of things I was ok with saying goodbye to. Others, I didn’t have a choice and had to accept the lessons that came with it. While I may be far from perfect and have caused some of my own woes, I know that I will always commit to trying to learn to do better. To break the cycles that surround me.

When it came to performing, the biggest struggle I had was not over complicating things. I come into most of these fields (performing and art) as a semi amature. I had small experience with it but never delved in because I doubted my abilities due to comparison. Now coming back into it and plowing my way through means I’m doing it confidently blindly! All the decades of serving taught me to be able to handle chaos and everything changing at the last minute with grace and patience. It taught me to commit fully to the moment regardless of what the ‘plan’ was.

Being the only masc sometimes in the spaces I occupy can be quite intimidating because no one does what I do. I lurk in Burlesque spaces as someone who uses the idea to apply to my transition. However I don’t fully embody burlesque and it can feel alienating at times. I don’t care about the drama, the politics, social groups, etc. I find myself just passionately respecting the practice, showing my love and appreciation to fellow performers and staff, clock in and clock out. That’s it. I love this craft too much to make time on things that don’t serve me. I stay true to my course despite the hardships that have come or those that have yet to arrive. Because at the end of the day when that music starts and I walk out on stage, I know I’m finally home.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am a dark neo-burlesque performer. I draw inspiration from different styles of dance and performing to tell deep stories of sorrow, anger, gender, sexuality, and horror. My numbers are very personal and have layers of depth to its creation. I listen to music at an astonishing rate and have a library of thousands of different songs to perform to. I feel music from movie scores to heavy metal to Spanish cumbia to kpop to where my heart takes me. I experience life through music and now use that archive to fuel my performances.

I am known for providing both masc and femme performances, sometimes both in the same number! My dances feature dark and dramatic music with heavy connection with the audience. I adore floor work and am all self taught. I make my own props with what I have as someone who makes very little. I’m smart and craft all my outfits from thrifting and using free resources in my community. Money has never been a barrier to me and it’s evident in my work as I consistently show up with big and anticipated numbers in spaces I’ve been despite making as little as I do. I make it work.

I am most proud of my ability to get to where I was without money. I paid the community with my services. My strength and work was my biggest asset and I would work for 10+ hours not caring about the hourly but just loving the experience of putting together a show and a moment where people can finally breathe again.

I am a fast learner so even though I haven’t been performing even a year yet I am already training myself with a Lyra at home, registered for fire training, and am performing actively once to twice a month! I constantly make new props or borrow silks from friends to practice whatever I can. I build my performer tool box everyday despite being afraid.

I am also well known for appearing out of nowhere. I tend to focus very hard on numbers alone at home until my next show. My numbers are high energy and intense so it feels a bit like whiplash if you’ve never seen me perform. It’ll take you to mystical deep lands you didn’t know existed and my favorite line I get after every show is “wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before”. That’s how I know I am on the right track. I’m not making masculinity sexy by stripping it to sex only. I am being sexy as a masc by revealing all my deepest emotions proudly, safely, and consensually. That is better than sex. To proudly display my emotional journey with all its imperfections and saying it’s ok, it’s beautiful, and it’s rawly true. Welcome.

We’d love to hear about any fond memories you have from when you were growing up?
My favorite childhood memory was creating music videos. My senior film standing out the most. It was a week of me producing and directing a passion project. I had created a music video to Misa Amane from Death Note to the song “Judas” by Lady Gaga. I believe this was the crucial moment in my life that showed me a portion of what I was meant to do. My relationship with storytelling through visuals with music runs deep and in this moment I gave it all despite not being a popular concept. I didn’t care how many rules I broke. At this film festival I won awards that were exclusively created for my work. “Best Musical expressionism” and “Best Set Design”. This was the turning point where my weird choices, call to my authenticity, and gut reactions began to reward me. I was starting to get yeses, opportunities, and compliments from established people in the industry.

I got to experience a moment where my friends, all un-paid, came together for a week to film a project together. It was all passion, love, and humanity at its rawest. We were all different but my sets were always about having fun. The work would always get done but the joyful memories can never be made again. We spent a lot of time coming up with insane inside jokes, dancing randomly, eating together, crafting and trouble shooting concepts, and pitching in ideas. None of my friends were film majors. Many were just friends who wanted to be seen and loved. In my space we were all important and we all knew it. It’s a special time that I experienced where labels and the outside world didn’t matter. We were kids again and we made something that is still spoken about to this day. We also made memories that will last forever. I am grateful for that moment that taught me what to strive for in every creative space I make. That’s how you make art as a team. Forget your numbers and algorithm. Love will carry you way further and I hope to be a living testament to that forever.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bas.t.modeus/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Bas.t.modeus
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@bas.t.modeus?lang=en