Today we’d like to introduce you to Shante Brooks.
Hi Shante, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Well, I was born on September 17th, known as the day of perseverance. Around 3 in the afternoon. My mother had me when she was 17 my favorite numbers were 9 and 7 and 17 before I knew my birthday. A father I’m not really sure about because it was so many mixed stories about who was the father of me. My mother was very immature and she told me this one person I grew up thinking was my father wasn’t my father once she fell out with him.
So it didn’t even matter to me since I felt like my own father. But he helped me out and tried to be there even though he doubted our connection. I did have a baby brother who was in fact his sun and he was treated much better than me from both sides of father and mother side because everyone doubted my existence. It’s as if I wasn’t even really alive. My mother lacked love and acceptance within herself so she seeked from men who never wanted to get to know her… they only wanted sex and I had to be around that witness guys just doing anything to my mother in front of me. I was just a child but I kinda knew it was strange… And the guys who were nice and there for her, she treated them poorly… Disrespect was a funny thing to her.
Well my day came when it was time for me to feel it as well and my name is Shante Dennis Brooks, they grew up calling me Dennis because my first name made them think so they went with what was easier. So was the guy she claimed was my father at first, his name was Dennis as well. He was a street guy or wannabe. He sold drugs all of my up bringing. A lot of weed from what I witness. But when I was 3 him and mother got into it and he was tired. They gave me a choice who I wanted to go with, he was much more fun so I said him and mother turned angry at me and made me stay with her… he left and she started abusing severely because of my choice to go with him and this continued for years.
She would starve me and have me hanging out in the street with her all night and morning, sleeping in parks or at friends or guys house she was dealing with. I was exposed to a lot of sex and drugs, lots of hatred and manipulation. We lived in shelters, I remember we were sleeping in hallways of family members… she had a place to stay with her mom, she just wanted to be disrespectful and rebellious and she didn’t want me having a better life when others tried to raise me, so she dragged me with her.. then she started molesting me out of nowhere I don’t even know what came over her.. I was forced to do sexual acts to her, she performed oral sex on me and after while I felt so shameful and afraid of even touching my own body. It was like I lost my virginity to my mother. I started running away and a lot I was very skillful when it came to directions, she kicked me out onto the street when I was around six years old and I walked the streets for hours either walking along someone like they were my parent or walking really fast so no one would take advantage of me. I was trying to find my grandmother’s house and I knew they way from paying attention so I finally made it there and the streets were extremely violent in new York city in the 90’s but no one touched me because they said that I was mature to be so young.
I reminded them of someone their age. I hung out with a lot of older people and I thought being with my grandmother would be better but she was just like my mother abusive and dismissive. I went to school and hated it. My family treated me like I was a disease they barely wanted to feed me they didn’t trust me, they abandoned me so many times I couldn’t even come in the house I had to sleep in the corridor I had to wash up outside because they put all of my clothes in a empty garbage can in the front yard.
I had child services called on me from the school and everyone treated me like it was my fault for the way I was and I was only a child at this time I was around seven years old. I was going to school much because I couldn’t even deal with useless information like nothing in school was teaching me how to find a place to sleep at night because family isn’t letting me inside or have one of your cousins to sneak you some food on holidays because I couldn’t join them I has to stay by the door or how to stop my mother from beating me so much that I was in comas or how to stay warm when I had to sleep in abandoned places and use plywood as a blanket…
Or how to create a cure for the hatred people feel towards me for no reason or how to stop my stomach from hurting so much from hunger as I’m trying to pay attention to math assignments but it’s hard to focus when all I had for dinner was a piece of candy while everyone else ate food in front of me… so after while I stopped going to school and then I completely stopped at the 5th grade, and everyone even the people who helped me a little bit turned on me and I was so devastated because no one really knew or even cared what I felt like, my mother always told people I’m probably dead somewhere.
I wanted to die every day nobody seen what I had to see. Witnesses murder’s of people I cared about having people about to murder me and even tried, late nights walking the streets defending myself against rapist and homosexuals and anyone else who wanted to take advantage of my spirit… trying to kill myself every day, stabbing myself up or drinking chemicals… I felt so worthless. They destroyed or took away anything that was mine or they tried to help me.
And I had to battle myself every single second because I was psychotic. All I can think about was killing myself or killing someone else or stopping someone from being killed. I was extremely passionate and desperate to be in a woman’s arms. Even though I’ve been raped by women I still knew some awesome girls I looked up to and they made me believe… I felt so much gratitude when anyone took me in or helped me especially a woman but most times I had to have sex with them or do what they wanted me to just to have a place to stay.. I always kept my creative nature with me just didn’t nourish much because I was under the impression that my spirit was broken and no one cared about my existence and I didn’t matter.
Then I had one person one and only, truly love me bravely (Janay) very close friend and everyone hated us being close especially her mom I suffered from a lot of jealousy growing up especially for my looks and how my body was in shape even though I never really cared about any of that I used working out as an art and I was the canvas just expressing myself to myself.. I love it so much so deeply. I feel so much heat and warmth with myself when I’m pushing myself extremely hard .
It’s when I’m the closest to me (Janay) was secretly dying and I went to jail at the time for a few months for having a gun I was around 17 and when I got out she dying but having surgeries. I turned 18 in jail. I never was really showing to everyone but myself but I knew if she died it was like me losing a mother because even though she was younger than me her love for me made me feel like her child. Well I got to spend time with her the last time she was alive and she died a few days after… I enjoyed her so much I was trying to play it cool the whole time but I let her know how I felt before I left her… she was my only friend my only mother and only great thing that happened to me besides myself.
She died in 2008, June 6th a few days after her birthday on May 29th and I died too. But as I ascended with her I realized that I was already dead and her life just started just in a new way. I died so many times mentally but only on rare occasions did I come alive and stay alive. So I decided to wake myself up out of my emotional casket and wake myself up out of my mental casket and use (Janay) rebirth as my birth. So her death became my life.
And from 2008, I decided to follow my heart and live every dream and trust everything that’s going to happen for me on this path. And I went through a lot on this path but I still trust it and I will never give up… I know what I have to do. And no matter how many times I am and was rejected and denied and humiliated and embarrassed and teased and blocked and disconnected and spiritually pointless. No matter how much of the anxiety and depression and what they tried to do to me. I would never ever let them turn me into them… I will always believe in beauty and my heart feels great… I won.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
The most thing I struggled with was basically doing everything alone and not having anyone to believe in me.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
Well, I specialize in making hair and skin cosmetics my business is called Shante oils. I also am an artist as well. I do abstract paintings www.shanteartwork.com. I’m also a writer I have written nine books so far. And I run marathons across the country and do a lot of extreme endurance training. These are things I’m known for amongst public speaking and poetry and many other things. What separates me from others, is very simple… I embrace suffering. That’s what pushes me.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
I have a few supporters like people who have invested in my vision and helped me along the way I rather not name because the support I’ve received from people who wasn’t genuine it always motive behind it instead of someone actually wanting to see me grow.
Contact Info:
- Email: shanteoils@gmail.com
- Website: www.shanteoils.store
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/shanteoils?igshid=1m0vi5nyv6l94
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shante.oils.5
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCYlBMdo9zTI8vqOgWyIAh3w
