Life and Work with Jenee Day

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jenee Day.

So, before we jump into specific questions, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I have dealt with anxiety for most of my life. In elementary school, I was a “weird kid” who didn’t really fit in anywhere. I had night terrors and sleepwalking episodes, too. By my teenage years, the night terrors had subsided, but I constantly felt misunderstood and out of place. I was awkward and nervous. My anxiety and persistent feelings of not being good enough followed me into adulthood. I made a string of bad decisions in my twenties, all related to impressing people and wanting to be accepted somewhere.

When I married my husband, I remember feeling certain about it because I was not afraid. It sounds funny now, but at the time it was a revelation. Standing barefoot on a beach, pledging a lifetime to each other, and I wasn’t afraid. It was one of the few times in my life up to that point that I can remember feeling totally calm.

In my first pregnancy, I had my first major anxiety attack. We were on vacation in Florida, I was around seven months pregnant, and my beloved grandfather had just died the month before. I was sad. I was tired. So when I shot up out of bed and began pacing back and forth, panting, raving about my life not having any purpose, no one really batted an eyelash. I’d be turning 30 soon, so we chalked it up to grief, hormones, and maybe a bit of an existential crisis.

Years later, we found ourselves debating about whether to have another child. My first labor had ended in an emergency c-section, which had been traumatic and a challenge to heal from. Did I really want to do that again? What if the anxiety came back? I loved being a mom and at 35 years old, the ticking of my biological clock was louder than my inner voice of reason. We decided to try for another baby.

It was the second pregnancy that brought the world crashing down around me. In my book, I refer to this time in my life as “The Terror”. My anxiety and panic started small and quickly escalated. I found myself unable to sleep, unable to shower, unable to eat, unable to be alone. One day I paced in circles for hours in our tiny apartment. My husband took a leave of absence from work to take care of me.

Friends who didn’t understand what was happening backed out of our lives. I don’t blame them. I can’t imagine what it all must’ve looked like from the outside – this shaky, pregnant woman who can’t even sit down in a chair for more than thirty seconds, crying all the time and hyperventilating but she looks fine from the outside. What a drama queen. Why doesn’t she just calm down? I felt so alone. I thought seriously about ending my life, I was so desperate for relief.

When I started searching for help, I found out just how limited the resources are for someone like me, and how misunderstood mental illness really is. I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed me a handful of medications. They didn’t work, and his solution was to continue prescribing medications until something did. I saw a handful of counselors, one who tried some form of light shock therapy and another who advised me to “just calm down”. I was uninsured so the fees were coming out of our dwindling bank account, which added to the guilt and shame already crushing me.

Sometimes when there is no path visible to us, it’s because we have been chosen to forge a new one. I had to find my own path to healing, and in doing that, I learned a lot about myself and experienced enormous growth and transformation. As difficult as it was, I am now so grateful for all of it.

I struggled for so long to fit in, and now I realize that I am not supposed to. I was born to stand out. I am working to create a place – a community – for people who suffer from mental illness and who are looking for support and advice. I want them to know that it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to be different. And that’s my message, in a nutshell. I feel so full of joy and hope now, and I want to pass that on to someone else who might be suffering. What’s that great line from Field of Dreams? “If you build it, they will come”? Well, that’s where I am now. I’m building, and I hope everyone who needs this message will come and hear it.

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
I love this question. No, things have not been easy for me. It has been a bumpy road, and humbling at times, but if it were easy it wouldn’t teach me anything. If it were easy it wouldn’t be as valuable.

My podcast is growing, and has been heard in countries across the globe. A couple of weeks ago, we were trending in Thailand and the Philippines! That is astounding. Every week I get emails from listeners who say they relate to something I talked about, or they feel hopeful about the future. That means everything to me. That wouldn’t have happened without the hard and painful stuff that came first.

We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
I consider myself an advocate for mental health awareness. I am the creator and producer of The Fear Itself Podcast, which is available on iTunes and most platforms. We also have a Facebook Group now called Anxiety Warriors, which is just a safe space for people who need to vent or connect with people who understand what they’re going through.

On the podcast, I frequently say, “I’m not an expert,” and that’s true – I don’t know everything there is to know about mental health. I don’t know anyone else’s story. So I don’t tell my listeners what to do, I just tell them what I’ve done and how it has worked out for me, and what they do with that information is up to them.

A lot of times people just want to know that someone cares, that someone gets it. And I do.

What advice would you give to someone at the start of her career?
My advice to any woman or young girl who is thinking about getting started with a podcast or telling her story in any way would be to follow your intuition. I knew I needed to talk about my anxiety. I gave myself a thousand excuses, a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t. In the end, what I thought was my greatest flaw actually led me to my purpose.

If there’s one thing I wish all women knew, it’s that everything good happens on the other side of fear. I believe that when you take steps towards something great, something you believe in, doors open up for you.

Also, don’t be discouraged if someone else is already doing what you want to do. Even if one hundred people are already doing it, they aren’t telling YOUR story, and they aren’t doing it in the unique way that YOU will do it. The world needs your voice.

Contact Info:

• Website: anchor.fm/jeneeday5
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: instagram.com/fear_itself_podcast & @emmettsmommy86
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FearItselfPodcast
• Other: https://www.amazon.com/Fear-Itself-Battling-Anxiety-Brought/dp/171817506X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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