Hidden Gems: Meet Melissa Ifill of Reflecting Joy, LLC

Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa Ifill.

Melissa, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I started doing Social Work in 1999 after I graduated from school. My family had always been involved in giving, my grand mothers both used to take in children who had issues at home, volunteer in church, missionary projects or just demonstrate kindness while I was growing up. So, when I graduated with my Bachelors and started working in the administration at a non-profit in Yonkers, I was BORED. It was on the campus of a residential treatment center for youth in foster care, aged 12 to 21. These children had behavioral challenges, but they intrigued me and I felt a pull to work with them. My mentor was the assistant ED and when I told him how I was feeling he arranged for me to shadow a social worker who managed a cottage of 15 young women. She assigned me the 3 toughest young ladies on the campus. My first meeting with them, they threatened to kill me. Needless to say, I must have been a glutton for punishment because I was even more excited. As a fellow, I went from 3 young women to 2 cottages with a total of 30 young women with some of the highest risk behaviors on campus and in the community and I loved it. MY career started when I was 21 and 26 years later I love what I do. Of course my work has evolved, I have done everything from community based foster care, to residential social work, program director for residential services for young adults, social work manager at a NYC hospital, and now I am in private practice specializing in working with Black women with a history (lived or ancestral) of trauma. My work has evolved from only focusing on he clinical to merging both clinical and ancestral tools to support my clients lead lives that feel whole, aligned and attuned to their needs.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It has mostly been a smooth road. I am fortunate that everything I want to do in my field I have been able to do. However, branching out on my own in private practice can feel daunting. Unlike other businesses, I am in the business of healing. That is not a tangible item. Although it lasts longer than anything else you will purchase and impacts your life more, we don’t live in a society that always values it. In fact, in the Black community we have trained ourselves to be attuned to chaos, or stress, or hardship. We even pride yourself on how much we have gone through. And then, when people are forced to make choices because of finances and/or time, their own wellness goes out the window, unless it is an emerging/immediate need. So sometimes it can feel like I can see and want a thing for someone that they do not want for themselves. I have learned that that is okay. That my vision for them is mine and not there’s. More often than not when clients that have graduated come back, they reflect on how something I may have said impacts them more after some time. I do my best to let them know that their process, no matter what it looks like, is honorable and unique to what they need and that is also apart of the work.

As you know, we’re big fans of Reflecting Joy, LLC. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
Reflecting Joy is a sacred space for Black women to come home to themselves. Rooted in love, healing, and truth, this is where my clinical training and spiritual wisdom meet to support deep personal transformation. Through immersive experiences, intensives, and community connection, Reflecting Joy helps women release old stories, reconnect with their inner wisdom, and choose lives that reflect who they truly are.

This space is named in honor of my mother, Joye Delph Ifill, whose love was wide and whose sacrifices were many. I believe that if she had access to spaces like this, she would have lived longer and lived fuller. Reflecting Joy is my offering to her legacy and my commitment to helping other women do the healing she never got to do. Here, we remember that joy is not something we have to earn. It’s our birthright.

Alright, so to wrap up, is there anything else you’d like to share with us?
We are whole and our healing must be about healing our whole self. Western clinical models are highly focused on symptom presentation and reduction of negative feelings. Leaving pain is not the same as engaging with joy. To engage with joy, you have to know who you are in all the ways: mind, body and spirit. You also have to have tools to support yourself WHEN things get tough. We think that healing means we will always be zen, or that if we do it right we will not have any major problems. No, the job of living is to experience life in its fullness. There is no joy without aspects of pain being present. But the questions are: Do you know how to care for yourself when things hurt? Do you know how to care for others? Can you advocate for yourself as you listen to someone you love? Do you know if your behavior is your highest self, your most aligned character or is it a caricature developed for your survival? These are important questions. These things help us understand ourselves, connect with and sustain community and access what we need at any stage of life to promote wellness. Additionally, our emotional wellness is directly linked to our physical health. I developed an e.g.o. quiz to help individuals better understand why they do what they do and a FREE workbook to give them some clues on how to shift out of it. I would love the readers to take the quiz and reflect: https://link.reflecting-joy.com/widget/quiz/O12zcCROAdIVpMlmQ7Fn

Lastly I am a priestess of Oshun, an Iyalosa in the Lucumi tradition, which is a West African Spriritual tradition originating from NIgeria, by way of Cuba. As such my work also includes intuituve knowing and work with water when clients are iopen and it is applicable. So many women find their way to me because they feel like there is a better way of living and connecting with Divine energy and they see the world through this unique vision, yet, they do not feel like they can talk about it. They feel alone. A huge part of my work is allowing them to show up fully as themselves so that they can (re)learn to trust themselves. There is so much healing in that.

Pricing:

• Individual Sessions: $200
• Workshops, Intensives and Immersions vary.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://reflecting-joy.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/melissaifilllcsw
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/melissaifilllcsw
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/melissaifilllcsw