Life and Work with Raquel R. James

Today we’d like to introduce you to Raquel R. James.

Raquel, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
As far back I can recall I always wanted to help people in some capacity. As a five-year-old girl, I thought I’d be an attorney, helping people fight for their rights. With exceptional grades throughout most of my academic career, I was pretty certain this would be my path up until age 18 when I became a pregnant teen. My dreams of college seemed to be fleeting at that point. However, my mother offered to allow me to attend college in Atlanta as planned while she kept my child. I declined the offer because I knew that I wanted to be present for my child. As a result, I stayed home in Connecticut, worked full-time and attended college full-time. It was a lot, especially for an 18-year-old single mother of an infant. Something had to give. Apparently, that something was college, as evidenced by my poor grades.

So, I worked full-time as a cashier/teller at a check-cashing business smack in the middle of “the hood.” Then, moved up to a teller at a major bank in the local downtown area. I worked as a bank teller for about six years. That’s when I decided to take the state correction officer exam on a dare. A guy who had passed the exam said I couldn’t. I took the exam, passed it, and started the job within a couple of months. The guy who dared me to do it didn’t get the job. Less than a year into my job I became pregnant with my second daughter. I gave birth to her at the age of 25. I worked as a correction officer for nine years and nine months, to be exact. I went into that job thinking I’d have an opportunity to help offenders have new outcomes and a changed perspective. I had no idea that correctional institutions were designed for recidivism, not rehabilitation.

When I left corrections, I had already gone back to college and subsequently graduated from Springfield College with my Bachelor’s in Human Service a year later. I opted to go directly to grad school while I had momentum. It was a toss-up between obtaining my MSW or completing a dual degree program that would allow me to obtain my MSW and JD and live my dream of being an attorney. After taking the LSAT, and doing well enough to get into a law school (perhaps not the one I’d have chosen) I realized that my dream had changed, It was then that I realized that I was only pursuing a law degree because it would have been the realization of the old dream, the one that I deviated from when I became a teen mom. It was no longer about fulfilling MY dream. It had become about proving “them” wrong, proving that I was going to make something of my life for me and my daughters. It was about the obligatory promise I’d made as the fifth-grade class president who spoke my dreams on a video that was now buried in a time capsule on the prestigious Yale University campus. I let it go and ultimately graduated from Fordham University with my Master’s degree in Social Work. Let’s be clear, it wasn’t as uneventful as I’d planned due to the fact that I now had two daughters, a full-time. 40 hour per week, job, a full course load, and a 21 hour a week internship (that led to burn-out after the second semester, followed by a semester-long break), but it was done with a spirit of excellence, by the grace of God.

Throughout all of this, I maintained my status as what I’d like to call a serial monogamist; simply put, I was always in a long-term relationship of some sort or another. Yes, I too had my own set of daddy wounds. I’m grateful that God healed those wounds, healed the relationship with my dad, and allowed me to walk in the calling that he placed on my life. It took a moment, but I’m here now. That story is far too long to tell in one simple interview. Here’s the bottom line. I remained in Connecticut for three years after graduating from grad school. In 2011, I was led to move to the Atlanta area. One of my best friend’s had lived here for years and she welcomed me and my youngest daughter into her home with open arms. For that, I am forever grateful. When I moved to Atlanta my older daughter had just graduated college and chose to remain in Connecticut and accept one of the many jobs offers she had. I had just truly ended a ten year on again, off again situationship that I believed would end in marriage. God had a different plan; yet another reason to be eternally thankful, although it didn’t feel that way at that time.

So, in July of 2011, I sold and/or gave away every piece of furniture in my home. Me and my daughters packed up my Mercedes ML320, and I do mean packed up (literally to the roof) and my younger daughter and I began our drive down the east coast. I had less than $300 in my pocket. My only income was an unemployment check. Our first stop, Philadelphia for cheesesteaks. Next, we stopped in Maryland to visit my first cousin for a few days and tour Washington, DC. I’ve always referred to this particular cousin as my favorite boy cousin. Our love for one another has always been different. He’s more like an older brother who will go the extra mile to express his love. He had no idea that I had less than $300 in my pocket and that we stayed a few extra days at his house so I could wait for my unemployment check to be deposited. Yet, on the morning we pulled out to head south he walked around to driver’s side of my vehicle, put his hand in mine, opened his hand and closed mine. The same way that your grandma or auntie sneaks money into your hand… he blessed us and had absolutely no idea. Next up, Myrtle Beach, SC for a couple of days at the beach. Then we headed on into Georgia.

We arrived at my friend’s house safely and all was well, at first. One month, two months, three months… no job. Four months, no job. Five months, no job. Month six, hallelujah! I found a job. Not only did I find a job, but I also found a job that was aligned with my purpose and preparing me for greater. You see when I left Connecticut, I was clear about one thing. I was clear that God had a plan and purpose for me that would be fulfilled in Georgia. I would grow my business and gain clarity regarding my purpose. My position was a new position in the organization. I believe it was God position, created just for me. I was the Employment Specialist and Relationship Enhancement Workshop Facilitator. It was in this role that I received pertinent certifications and had the chance to hone my skills. I spent most of my work days getting paid to talk about healthy relationships, networking in Atlanta at fabulous events, and providing career and employment coaching for clients. It was an ideal job and it served its purpose up until the time that I was led to resign and become a full-time entrepreneur. That was six years ago.

Today, I have a true revelation of my purpose and I walk in it daily. I recognize that I am called to work directly with my single Christian sisters as they learn what it truly means to walk in purity and righteousness and live in their happily right now life while they wait for happily ever after. I show them how to walk it out daily because I do it daily. I’ve remained single since moving to Georgia eight years ago and I am actually living a life filled with joy, purpose, and intentionality. So many single sisters get stuck in singleness as a place of loneliness and despair, a time of confusion and pain. They get caught up in this idea of waiting on Boaz, waiting on their other half and somehow completely forget that they are whole all by themselves, they are more than enough on their own and that indeed God has a plan and purpose for them. Emotional wellness is a key component of the work that I do as it’s imperative that one be emotionally well to live a healthy, happy, whole, and joy-filled life. I help my clients take ownership of who they are, master their passions to make an impact, discover their purpose, and ultimately master their brand-new reality; all from a Christ-centered, emotionally well perspective.

In my six years of full-time entrepreneurship, I have had some very challenging times. On occasion, the obstacles have slowed me down, but they’ve never stopped me. They won’t. They can’t. My God is greater than the hardships and challenges that have risen up against me. So, I have continued. I am now a Licensed Therapist (LMSW), Author of BETTER, Not Bitter Baby… Transformational Speaker, Host of the Happy Single Ladies podcast, Workshop Facilitator/Trainer, Creator and Host of Jammies and Jewels events, Authorized Relationship Program Leader, Certified P.I.C.K. a Partner and Marriage L.I.N.K.S. Instructor, and the Owner and CEO of Raquel R. James Unlimited. That’s a mouth full. I’ve come a mighty long way and I am still moving forward and watching as doors continue to open before me daily. I am excited about the many opportunities that I have to live a life of impact and influence; every single day.

Has it been a smooth road?
As noted in my response to the last question it has certainly not been a smooth road. Truth is, it’s been anything but. Lol. When I finally took a true leap of faith, followed God’s lead, and began to live an intentional life of purpose the challenges started coming left and right, one after another. Within six months of moving to Georgia that Mercedes that I loved started to have all sorts of issues, and finally died just short of one year of being in Georgia. My friendship with my friend that I lived with when I moved here was stretched and broken, after more than 30 years of friendship. Very soon after transitioning into full-time entrepreneurship I literally lost every material thing that I thought I had earned and deserved. It was ALL stripped from me. Ev-er-ryyy- thing. Car, home, valued possessions, all of the things that I valued more than I valued some people; just being transparent. The truth of the matter is that I was not prepared to be transparent and fully engaged in the process of growth that God needed me to go through to get to where He was sending me. I would have NEVER released everything voluntarily without fully understanding. I would not have moved had I known what was yet to come. I wanted the glory that God had shown me as the vision for my life unfolded. I did not have a desire to have the hard luck story that accompanied that glory. God had to sit me down and strip me down for me to become the woman He called me to be. He had to get me to BETTER, not Bitter and show me what it meant to be a happily single lady and have happily single now life that emanates from the joy that dwells inside of me.

In terms of advice for other women, I’d say be still, be quiet and listen for the leading of the Holy Spirit. Then, simply be obedient to what you’re called to do. Do it afraid. Do it alone. Just do it. Know that you are worthy. You are capable because you’ve been called. Reach out and connect with more seasoned sisters who have been where you are or are currently where you want to be. Lastly, share your story, even the not so pretty parts, because it’s not for, or about, you. It’s for the next sister who needs to know that she’s not alone, she’s not crazy, and that she will come through her current circumstances, stronger, wiser, better, and ready for ALL that God has designed her to do.

Please tell us more about what you do, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I have a passion for helping my single sisters who are striving to become all that they’re called to be. As a single lady who’s walking the walk, not just talking the talk, I’m led to assist them as they walk paths of purity, righteousness, and purpose. I also have a special place in my heart for empowering women who are empty nesters as they reshape their daily realities. As I serve my God-given purpose it’s my intent to inspire, encourage, and empower these women to live their lives intentionally, on purpose, and in purpose.

Emotional wellness is a key component of the work that I do as it’s imperative that one be emotionally well to live a healthy, happy, whole, and joy-filled life. It’s my goal to help my clients take ownership of who they are, master their passions to make an impact, discover their purpose, and ultimately master their brand-new reality; all from a Christ-centered, emotionally well perspective. The end goal is that they live their “happily single now” life as opposed to just waiting around for “happily ever after”. I do all of this in a number of different ways that includes: providing individual and group coaching programs, using my book and the Blueprint that I’ve created, speaking at events, and hosting my own live events as well. Outside of the business aspect I also serve as a mentor to my single sisters navigating singleness, purity, and purpose.

I’m extremely excited about my book BETTER, Not Bitter Baby, Becoming the Woman You’re Called to Be… 22 Days of Affirming Truth. It’s a 22 day devotional. This is the description:

Better, Not Bitter Baby… will help you begin your journey to doing just that, becoming better, recognizing that all of the obstacles, disappointments, and pain were not purposeless. They were purposeful. They came to make you better.

Over the course of 22 days:

You’ll discover a true sense of self-identity and self-worth.
You’ll affirm the truth with daily affirmations.
You’ll answer thought to provoke questions that serve as a catalyst to positive change.

Each day Raquel shares valuable life lessons, daily truth, and empowers you with transformational questions that help you along your journey to becoming the woman you’re called to be. These powerful lessons will help you defeat and dispel the lies that dictated your decisions, and to finally know your true identity; ultimately freeing you to walk in your calling and live life on purpose.

With regard to what sets me apart, there are several factors and characteristics. The first is that I have crazy faith in Jesus and I’m willing to do it His way, whatever IT is. Lol. Secondly, I can genuinely relate to my clients, whether she’s the single lady trying to find purpose in this season, trying to walk in purity, feeling alone and lonely, the empty nester who now has to navigate a season of newness where she lacks a sense of self-identity or the sister who simply needs to find peace and emotional wellness. I get it. I’m not just teaching what I’ve learned in a textbook, but as a licensed therapist, I can also see it from that perspective. I have real life experience, education, and most importantly I’m super passionate about impacting the lives of the women that I serve because this is what I am called to do. I was made for this! I take it very seriously and absolutely love what I do. I consider it an honor to serve in this capacity.

There’s a wealth of academic research that suggests that a lack of mentors and networking opportunities for women has materially affected the number of women in leadership roles. Smart organizations and industry leaders are working to change this, but in the meantime, do you have any advice for finding a mentor and building a network?
I have found that connecting with people via social media is great, but connecting in person is even better. I’d suggest sending a message to people that you’d like to connect with as potential mentors, but be mindful of the fact that many of these people may not be able and/or willing to meet your expectations. Be OK with that and continue to connect with folks in REAL life. Attend events when possible and be prepared to connect with people.

Contact Info:

• Website: raquelrjames.com
• Phone: 7706097859
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raquelrjames/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RaquelRJames/

Image Credit:
The first picture of me laughing, with my head thrown back (also used on the podcast graphic) was taken by Kim Taylor of Kimazing Photography, All other images (book signing and products) were taken by Dadiana Jean of Dadiana Jean Photography

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