Exploring Life & Business with Jerry & Jordan St Louis & Costen of The Queer and Kinky Couch

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jerry & Jordan St Louis & Costen.

Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
Jerry and Jordan first connected in 2020, when Jordan reached out to Jerry via LinkedIn to ask whether he would be interested in collaborating on a sex education program for Safe Space NOVA, the nonprofit Jordan founded to provide positive, affirming programming for LGBTQ+ youth. At the time, Jerry had an extensive background in sex education and was beginning the process of pursuing his sex therapy certification. Along with another social worker Jordan had identified, the two began developing the program, drawing heavily on Jerry’s expertise and experience. Jerry went on to lead the initial sex education trainings for Safe Space NOVA’s youth over the next several years.

Through their work together, Jerry and Jordan developed a friendship rooted in their shared professional backgrounds as social workers, their clinical perspectives, and their experiences as Black gay men. Over time, Jordan began thinking about ways to extend the conversations they were already having beyond the therapy room and provide education, insight, and perspective to a broader audience. The idea of a podcast became increasingly natural, particularly because when Jerry and Jordan were together, others frequently commented on their chemistry and their ability to have engaging, candid conversations about clinical issues, relationships, sexuality, and the experiences of Black gay men. From those conversations and their years of friendship and collaboration, The Queer and Kinky Couch was born, a space where their clinical expertise, lived experiences, humor, and natural rapport could come together to educate, challenge, and connect with others.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Identifying the right name for the podcast was initially a challenge for Jerry and Jordan. The two considered countless options, brainstorming independently and sharing potential names with friends, colleagues, and their production team for feedback. After considerable discussion, they ultimately landed on the fitting title The Queer and Kinky Couch. The name felt representative of both the direct and inclusive nature of the conversations they wanted to have and the audience they hoped to reach. It also reflected the intersection of their professional expertise as therapists and social workers with their personal experiences and perspectives.

Another challenge involved becoming comfortable with a different level of openness and vulnerability. As therapists and practice owners, both Jerry and Jordan were accustomed to speaking publicly and facilitating conversations about complex and deeply personal topics. The podcast, however, required something different. Rather than primarily occupying the role of clinician or educator, they had to allow their audience to know more about Jerry and Jordan as people. This meant intentionally sharing aspects of their own lives, experiences, opinions, and vulnerabilities in ways that were less familiar to them. Learning to balance their professional identities with greater personal disclosure became an important part of developing the show and, ultimately, helped them create the deeper and more authentic connection they wanted with their audience.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about The Queer and Kinky Couch?
The Queer & Kinky Couch is a podcast created and co-hosted by Jerry St. Louis, LICSW, CST, and Jordan Costen, LCSW. In addition to the podcast, we both run our own private therapy practices, where our work centers LGBTQ+ communities, relationships, sexuality, mental health, identity, and the conversations people are often taught to keep behind closed doors.

Both our practices and the podcast were created from a desire to make ourselves and these conversations more accessible. As therapists, there are only so many people we can sit across from in a day. The Queer & Kinky Couch allows us to extend that reach beyond the therapy room and create a space where people can learn, laugh, challenge what they have been taught, and hear honest conversations about sex, relationships, kink, queerness, and mental health.

What sets us apart is the combination of our clinical experience and who we are as people. We are therapists, but we don’t believe every meaningful conversation needs to sound like a therapy session. The Couch is candid, funny, educational, sometimes uncomfortable, and always rooted in creating space for conversations that don’t get enough attention, particularly within Black and queer communities.

What we’re most proud of is building a brand where people can see themselves without feeling like they need to clean up or explain parts of who they are first. Whether someone finds us through the podcast, social media, our individual practices, or community work, we want them to leave feeling a little more informed, a little less ashamed, and a lot more comfortable having the conversations we’ve been told not to have.

Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
Our biggest advice is to focus on building genuine relationships rather than simply “networking.” Some of our best professional relationships have come from showing up consistently, supporting others’ work, collaborating, and simply reaching out to people we respect. We’ve also learned that mentorship doesn’t always have to be formal. Mentors can be colleagues, supervisors, friends, or community leaders who offer guidance along the way.

What has worked best for us is approaching networking with “How can we support each other?” rather than “What can this person do for me?” That mindset has led to collaborations, opportunities, referrals, and genuine friendships. Most importantly, find people who allow you to show up fully as yourself without having to shrink who you are to have a seat at the table.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thequeerandkinkycouch/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/112593641/admin/dashboard/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@the_qkc